Hi. Im nearly 6months pregnant with twins and single. I am so stressed about my situation i just cant enjoy any of this.
Me and the father were never really in a serious relationship, but were seeing each other for around a year on a casual basis. When we found out i was pregnant, we decided to try being together properly. He's quite well off and rented an apartment for me to move into as at the time i had nowhere to live. We spent alot of time together but it didnt work out. We were not compatible and i found him unreliable and always felt stressed with him as i felt i had to sort any problems/issues out myself. I was surprised at this because before i got pregnant i thought he was very assertive and relable, as he has 3 of his own businesses and always came across this way.
I told my parents when i was 12 weeks, and lets just say that they were not happy. They wanted me to have an abortion. To be fair to them, they had never met this man and i was at university. My mum has only just come around to the idea now, and she still has her bad days.
The father has become very awkward. We argue all the time. He has not attended one single scan with me (ive had about 20!). He was coming to the 20wk scan but decided not to when i told him that the hospital would only give one picture. He made a fuss over this and demanded that he has a picture himself so i told him we would get one, i would scan it onto my computer, then he could have it. He wasnt happy with this and chose not to come.
When i got pregnant, me and the father talked about what to do and he said that if i chose to keep it he would help me financially - get me the flat to live, get the baby things and just generally make sure i was ok. He recently told me that i couldnt have any money to buy baby things until 7mnths pregnant. I wanted to get my baby shopping done after the 20wk scan because im getting big and tired and wouldnt feel like it at 7mnths. My womb already measures 30wks. Ive been ill alot in the pregnancy and the babies are likely to be born atleast a few weeks early. I explained this to him but he said if they came early i could go out and buy it all over a couple of days while the babies are in special care. I would not want to be doing this. I would want to be with my babies if they were in the hospital, and would be recovering from an operation (c section) myself. I didnt realise there were grants for these types of things, so im not going to take any money from him now and use that instead. He said he is going to buy designer baby clothes, which angers me because i will be struggling to buy the basics i need (already been buying 2nd hand on ebay with savings i have) whilst he is out spending £35 on a babygro!
When i was about 16wks there was some problems with the fluid around the babies. Ive had to go in for weekly scans to keep an eye on this but he still went on holiday and hasnt bothered to ask how things r progressing.
This man is also a student, and when i first got pregnant i told him i would not want the babies staying in a student house because of the drinking and the noise. I made this clear from the start, but despite this, he chose to move into a 7 bed student house with 4 strangers and 2 friends. I told him i dont want the babies going there because i dont know any of the people who live there and it is a student house. He said he will take them wherever he wants. He lives an hr away so this means driving them there and back also. Considering he has not passed his driving test yet and the drive is all motorway, im also nervous about him doing this.
He keeps saying how he will be staying in the room with me for the the entire time im in hospital after the birth. He doesnt even ask, but instead tells me he will be there. I just dont feel comfortable with this and i know he will spoil things for me. But i dont want to take these moments away from him.
He likes to do everything his own way and if anyone disagrees with his methods he has a tantrum. I feel he's tried to use money to control me so i am moving out of this apartment after the birth and with my mum. After the first month, my parents are going to help me to find somewhere of my own and i will have to claim benefits.
I just dont know what to do. I feel he hasnt been there for me at all. Hes spent most of my pregnancy in spain and says he is going travelling later this month. This makes me angry because he hasnt been there and is off living his life and spending money while i am struggling to buy basic things and ill here.
I dont know if i am being unreasonable here but the whole situation with him angers me and he is ruining my pregnancy so much. There are so many things he has done to upset me, the above being just a few. I really dont know what to do. I cant help but think if he wasnt around, it would be so much easier. I wish i could just cut him out until after the birth and then arrange an agreement for him to see the children. I doubt this would be easy though because he thinks he should take them when he pleases, whether the time is suitable for me or them is irrelevant. Sorry about the rant, had to get it out! Any advice would be good on how to handle a situation such as this. Thanks
Me and the father were never really in a serious relationship, but were seeing each other for around a year on a casual basis. When we found out i was pregnant, we decided to try being together properly. He's quite well off and rented an apartment for me to move into as at the time i had nowhere to live. We spent alot of time together but it didnt work out. We were not compatible and i found him unreliable and always felt stressed with him as i felt i had to sort any problems/issues out myself. I was surprised at this because before i got pregnant i thought he was very assertive and relable, as he has 3 of his own businesses and always came across this way.
I told my parents when i was 12 weeks, and lets just say that they were not happy. They wanted me to have an abortion. To be fair to them, they had never met this man and i was at university. My mum has only just come around to the idea now, and she still has her bad days.
The father has become very awkward. We argue all the time. He has not attended one single scan with me (ive had about 20!). He was coming to the 20wk scan but decided not to when i told him that the hospital would only give one picture. He made a fuss over this and demanded that he has a picture himself so i told him we would get one, i would scan it onto my computer, then he could have it. He wasnt happy with this and chose not to come.
When i got pregnant, me and the father talked about what to do and he said that if i chose to keep it he would help me financially - get me the flat to live, get the baby things and just generally make sure i was ok. He recently told me that i couldnt have any money to buy baby things until 7mnths pregnant. I wanted to get my baby shopping done after the 20wk scan because im getting big and tired and wouldnt feel like it at 7mnths. My womb already measures 30wks. Ive been ill alot in the pregnancy and the babies are likely to be born atleast a few weeks early. I explained this to him but he said if they came early i could go out and buy it all over a couple of days while the babies are in special care. I would not want to be doing this. I would want to be with my babies if they were in the hospital, and would be recovering from an operation (c section) myself. I didnt realise there were grants for these types of things, so im not going to take any money from him now and use that instead. He said he is going to buy designer baby clothes, which angers me because i will be struggling to buy the basics i need (already been buying 2nd hand on ebay with savings i have) whilst he is out spending £35 on a babygro!
When i was about 16wks there was some problems with the fluid around the babies. Ive had to go in for weekly scans to keep an eye on this but he still went on holiday and hasnt bothered to ask how things r progressing.
This man is also a student, and when i first got pregnant i told him i would not want the babies staying in a student house because of the drinking and the noise. I made this clear from the start, but despite this, he chose to move into a 7 bed student house with 4 strangers and 2 friends. I told him i dont want the babies going there because i dont know any of the people who live there and it is a student house. He said he will take them wherever he wants. He lives an hr away so this means driving them there and back also. Considering he has not passed his driving test yet and the drive is all motorway, im also nervous about him doing this.
He keeps saying how he will be staying in the room with me for the the entire time im in hospital after the birth. He doesnt even ask, but instead tells me he will be there. I just dont feel comfortable with this and i know he will spoil things for me. But i dont want to take these moments away from him.
He likes to do everything his own way and if anyone disagrees with his methods he has a tantrum. I feel he's tried to use money to control me so i am moving out of this apartment after the birth and with my mum. After the first month, my parents are going to help me to find somewhere of my own and i will have to claim benefits.
I just dont know what to do. I feel he hasnt been there for me at all. Hes spent most of my pregnancy in spain and says he is going travelling later this month. This makes me angry because he hasnt been there and is off living his life and spending money while i am struggling to buy basic things and ill here.
I dont know if i am being unreasonable here but the whole situation with him angers me and he is ruining my pregnancy so much. There are so many things he has done to upset me, the above being just a few. I really dont know what to do. I cant help but think if he wasnt around, it would be so much easier. I wish i could just cut him out until after the birth and then arrange an agreement for him to see the children. I doubt this would be easy though because he thinks he should take them when he pleases, whether the time is suitable for me or them is irrelevant. Sorry about the rant, had to get it out! Any advice would be good on how to handle a situation such as this. Thanks
