hi everyone
some of you may have read my post a few weeks ago after we lost our baby at 17 weeks after an amnio. thanks again to all of you who posted such sweet messages - you are all so lovely!
today i have been having a massive meltdown as i know that at some point in the next 2 weeks we will get a phone call from the hospital to say that the baby is back from post mortem and we will have to decide what to do. We have decided we would like to have the baby cremated but the crematorium used by the hospital cant produce ashes from a baby under 22 weeks so we would not get any ashes to take away. the lady at the hospital told me that there is a crematorium locally that can produce ashes from smaller babies but we would have to go through a funeral director to organise this. we really are having a hard time deciding what to do and keep changing our mind. we dont feel that we want to have a service or anything (we are not really religious in any way) and initially thought we would like to scatter the ashes somewhere special to us but as the weeks pass i am worried that getting the ashes in 3-4 weeks time will start the grieving all over again. also i have a hard time thinking about going to a funeral directors and facing all of that ( although my hubby is happy to go alone) having said that i dont want to regret just letting the hospital cremate the baby and not having any ashes.
what did everyone else decide to do with their angels? (if people dont mind sharing) if you had a cremation, what did you decide to do with the ashes. I really feel like we dont understand this process and tonight i am having a hard time accepting that we even have to think/discuss what we should do with our son/daughter. no-one should have to go through this - its too painful!
some of you may have read my post a few weeks ago after we lost our baby at 17 weeks after an amnio. thanks again to all of you who posted such sweet messages - you are all so lovely!
today i have been having a massive meltdown as i know that at some point in the next 2 weeks we will get a phone call from the hospital to say that the baby is back from post mortem and we will have to decide what to do. We have decided we would like to have the baby cremated but the crematorium used by the hospital cant produce ashes from a baby under 22 weeks so we would not get any ashes to take away. the lady at the hospital told me that there is a crematorium locally that can produce ashes from smaller babies but we would have to go through a funeral director to organise this. we really are having a hard time deciding what to do and keep changing our mind. we dont feel that we want to have a service or anything (we are not really religious in any way) and initially thought we would like to scatter the ashes somewhere special to us but as the weeks pass i am worried that getting the ashes in 3-4 weeks time will start the grieving all over again. also i have a hard time thinking about going to a funeral directors and facing all of that ( although my hubby is happy to go alone) having said that i dont want to regret just letting the hospital cremate the baby and not having any ashes.
what did everyone else decide to do with their angels? (if people dont mind sharing) if you had a cremation, what did you decide to do with the ashes. I really feel like we dont understand this process and tonight i am having a hard time accepting that we even have to think/discuss what we should do with our son/daughter. no-one should have to go through this - its too painful!