Struggling to eat, overwhelmed

[redneckhippy]

My son is 11 days old and I'm EBFing him. I'm feeling so overwhelmed being the only one who can feed him. The pain is finally starting to improve slightly, but I still find myself dreading feeding times and feeling like he wants to eat constantly so I can't do anything I need to get done. My husband is home for a few more days from work, but I still can barely even get time to shower because the only thing that seems to calm him is nursing which he wants to do all the time. I'm worried he is always hungry because he's not getting enough from me, probably because I'm hardly eating myself. I don't feel hungry at all, so nothing reminds me to eat. I'm not sure if this is due to depression/hormones or if I'm just so busy trying to nurse him all the time that I can't remember to eat myself. It's 1:30 PM here and I haven't had anything to eat today and just realized it. I don't know what to do. As I'm typing this he just started crying to nurse again so that's another 45 minutes or so before I can potentially shower or eat (honestly I'd rather shower). Please tell me it gets better soon. I desperately want breastfeeding to be successful, I'm just so stressed by it right now.

 

[noon_child]

You are not alone! For the few days your OH is home he needs to be making you regular meals and helping you eat them - even if that means spoon feeding you across a nursing baby! Once he's back at work you could try setting an alarm for meal times and if you always nurse in the same place, stock it up with one handed food like bananas, cereal bars, yoghurt tubes, biscuits, breadsticks, whatever so that when LO eats you eat too.

The other important thing is perspective. accept it for what it is - a newborn needing his Mum and it is normal, and totally crazy making at times. Trust that it won't last forever, but know that it will be a few more weeks yet.

If you can wear LO in a sling he may be content to just be near you while you do some essential things like cooking your meals! When OH comes back from work in the evenings take that time to shower while LO and OH bond. If you have a bath you may find you can nurse LO in the water (not too hot Obvs) and that can relax you both - although it takes planning as to how to get you both in and out sometimes!

I think if nursing is pain free it is so much easier to deal with just nursing constantly as you can chill out with Netflix but for me the constant pain and worry about weight gain meant I couldn't relax and didn't enjoy nursing for quite a while. So if you can find a support group or similar to help you try to get to pain and worry free feeding I think that would help a lot.

 

[hiladun]

Everything pp said, plus - and it took me forever to realise this - it's fine to take a few minutes before you sit down to nurse to gather snacks and drinks, find books/tv remote/phone, have a pee etc. Ok you may well have to do that one handed with a very loud baby, but it makes the following 45 mins more bearable!

Hang in there!

 

[Rhiannon137]

The first few weeks are all about survival, and it's important to take care of you too. Ones handed snacks are critical, as is lots of water. I ate a ridiculous number of protein bars in the early days, and drank a lot of milkshakes.

For me, getting a shower made a HUGE difference in how I felt mentally through the day. If yourbaby is in a safe place, he will not suffer any harm from crying for 10 minutes. He will benefit from a mom who feels refreshed and restored.

It won't be like this forever, and you can get through it.

 

[_Meep_]

I'm sure you're making plenty of milk. He's cluster feeding. He's doing this because his stomach is no bigger than an egg and the milk he takes in is fully digested after about 1.5 hours. Since you time from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next, it probably seems like he isn't giving you much of a break. He's also a total novice - as you say, he takes 45 minutes or so to complete a feed, by which point it's almost time to start again.

It is SO HARD, mama. But if you do want to carry on, he will become more skilled and less hungry. The first few weeks are absolutely bizarre - in fact I don't really remember ours. It's all a blur.

Rest assured that his cluster feeding is both normal and beneficial. He's stimulating your body to make lots of milk - and as he grows bigger (they really do grow impossibly fast) he will be able to take more milk more quickly and go much longer between feeds.

It won't be like this forever, honestly.

 

[MishC]

I was told by a nurse that if we don't eat when BF its like feeding a baby water or a light salad so they'll want to feed more often. When we do eat properly its like giving a baby a sunday roast or a big meal so they wont want to feed as much. Your baby might just be hungry and when you start to eat he'll feed better.