Hi all,
so it's been about 5 weeks since my MC at 9 weeks. And most days I'm ok. today i'm struggling. i feel bad for struggling, but i will try to explain why! (As bless him, DH doesn't get it.)
basically, we found out DH's older sister (who we really don't get along with) was also pregnant, also due in November, but about 2 weeks after we were and they discovered at her 12 week scan that she has a blighted ovum so at this point, they're waiting for her to miscarry on her own.
now obviously I'm devastated for her. It's a terrible thing to have to go through and even though we don't like her, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
but part of me is glad she wont be having a baby in November
I feel awful for saying it...but i couldn't deal with my due date coming and going and then having her have a baby.
she has already told us how she feels we've messed up being parents to DD (even though she has no kids yet). She says we give her too many sweets, not enough discipline and the whole 'if I was her mother, here's how I'd do it.' but on top of that, MIL clearly favours this sister over DH. I mean we have discovered that the sister (we'll call her Anne) had opened credit cards under DH's name (it tied them in to her address) and MIL just went 'oh but this happens all the time, where it gets tied to a random address, it must have just randomly tied it to Anne's' and refused to accept it.
Also when I announced our second pregnancy to her, her response was 'oh! Ha, i thought Anne would beat you to it!' (Anne has been trying for a baby since January 2016. We have been trying since April 2013.) which I felt was harsh anyway.
My daughter loves MIL, and as the only grandchild, is very close to MIL. But Anne lives far closer, and MIL stopped herself moving to the town she wants to, because it would be far closer to us, and a little further from Anne. (Anne drives, we do not. And this town is 5 mins from us on a train, whereas where MIL lives now is 3.5 hours away on a train. Where Anne lives is a 1 hour train from MIL, and would have been 1 hour and 10 mins had she moved) Basically, DH and I both feel that as soon as Anne has a baby, DD and any other kids we have will be neglected and MIL won't bother to come see her as often (She comes every 2 weeks atm)
On top of that, my parents aren't very involved at all (Havent seen DD since she was 3 months old. she's now almost 5) and FIL died a couple of years ago. so MIL is the only grandparent DD has, whereas Anne's baby will have all 4 grandparents involved.
I feel awful for being glad...like i said, I feel so sorry for Anne, but the selfish part of me is glad that I don't have to watch her have a baby and watch MIL neglect DD all at the time my baby would have been due
oh and on top of that, I'm on my first period after the MC...so a little sensitive anyway.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far! It's helped to vent a bit..
just having a rough day.
so it's been about 5 weeks since my MC at 9 weeks. And most days I'm ok. today i'm struggling. i feel bad for struggling, but i will try to explain why! (As bless him, DH doesn't get it.)
basically, we found out DH's older sister (who we really don't get along with) was also pregnant, also due in November, but about 2 weeks after we were and they discovered at her 12 week scan that she has a blighted ovum so at this point, they're waiting for her to miscarry on her own.
now obviously I'm devastated for her. It's a terrible thing to have to go through and even though we don't like her, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
but part of me is glad she wont be having a baby in November
I feel awful for saying it...but i couldn't deal with my due date coming and going and then having her have a baby.she has already told us how she feels we've messed up being parents to DD (even though she has no kids yet). She says we give her too many sweets, not enough discipline and the whole 'if I was her mother, here's how I'd do it.' but on top of that, MIL clearly favours this sister over DH. I mean we have discovered that the sister (we'll call her Anne) had opened credit cards under DH's name (it tied them in to her address) and MIL just went 'oh but this happens all the time, where it gets tied to a random address, it must have just randomly tied it to Anne's' and refused to accept it.
Also when I announced our second pregnancy to her, her response was 'oh! Ha, i thought Anne would beat you to it!' (Anne has been trying for a baby since January 2016. We have been trying since April 2013.) which I felt was harsh anyway.
My daughter loves MIL, and as the only grandchild, is very close to MIL. But Anne lives far closer, and MIL stopped herself moving to the town she wants to, because it would be far closer to us, and a little further from Anne. (Anne drives, we do not. And this town is 5 mins from us on a train, whereas where MIL lives now is 3.5 hours away on a train. Where Anne lives is a 1 hour train from MIL, and would have been 1 hour and 10 mins had she moved) Basically, DH and I both feel that as soon as Anne has a baby, DD and any other kids we have will be neglected and MIL won't bother to come see her as often (She comes every 2 weeks atm)
On top of that, my parents aren't very involved at all (Havent seen DD since she was 3 months old. she's now almost 5) and FIL died a couple of years ago. so MIL is the only grandparent DD has, whereas Anne's baby will have all 4 grandparents involved.
I feel awful for being glad...like i said, I feel so sorry for Anne, but the selfish part of me is glad that I don't have to watch her have a baby and watch MIL neglect DD all at the time my baby would have been due
oh and on top of that, I'm on my first period after the MC...so a little sensitive anyway.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far! It's helped to vent a bit..
just having a rough day.
I was so worried that people would judge me as a horrible person...so thank you for understanding.
