Student midwife turned away..

[mrs.amillian]

I completely agree with not allowing him into the session. It was women only for a reason.

The NCT do other mixed groups that he could have gone to no worries, there is a time and a place for everything.

On my ward we often have people refusing either sex, and the men do prefer a male care giver, our Charge Nurse is male and we have two male HCA's and they do tend to work with the men, often women will refuse them and request other women to care for them.

I have to say even though I work in healthcare when I have a personal problem I do request a female Dr, I just feel more comfortable with it, that is the illogical side of my brain winning the logical is telling me they are completly professional and know just s much, but that side never wins, lol!!!

 

[jenfirstbaby]

As bless!! The student midwife who delivered Thomas said she needed to witness 40 births to become a 'proper' midwife and Thomas was her 40th I guess it takes as long as it takes!

yes the student midwife at my birth said 40 births too think she was on 25 or something lol x

 

[LittleBoo]

This discussion always brings that clip to mind

I can understand, sort of. I'm not the type of person to discriminate with healthcare providers, even with a history of sexual abuse, it just doesn't bother me. That said, I know everyone is entitled to their own feelings, no-one's right or wrong when it comes to these feelings of discomfort. If it indeed was only because of the women only group thing, fair enough, rules are rules I'm sure there are other groups he can go to?

 

[Banshee]

I really couldn't have cared less whether my health care professionals were male or female after two complicated births when male doctors were what was on offer so that's what I had. I also had an internal by a male doctor when I experienced bleeding during my first trimester with ds1.
I wouldn't mind if a male midwife observed me breastfeeding but oddly I do have a problem with some men I know seeing me breastfeed. I'd think I'd rather it be a stranger than say my father in law or brother in law - is that strange?
At my doctor's surgery there is no female doctor so it's a man or nothing. They do offer the option of having a female chaperone if you are concerned and I have found the male doctors tend to get a chaperone in themselves if it's a sensitive area - such as when I had thrush on/in my breasts from breastfeeding.

 

[My_First]

I guess my thoughts on it would be, someone doesnt like the idea of a male midwide/Ob/gyn etc. I am guessing, (and I am making an assumption as I dont know as its not something that bothers me) its because of male/female, therefore, sexual reasons? IF that is the reasons, would you feel the same if it was a lesbian midwife or a non obvious (IYKWIM) transgender? Do you think it would be 'fair' (for want of a better word) for someone to have to divulge their sexual orientation before examination?

 

[special_kala]

I guess my thoughts on it would be, someone doesnt like the idea of a male midwide/Ob/gyn etc. I am guessing, (and I am making an assumption as I dont know as its not something that bothers me) its because of male/female, therefore, sexual reasons? IF that is the reasons, would you feel the same if it was a lesbian midwife or a non obvious (IYKWIM) transgender? Do you think it would be 'fair' (for want of a better word) for someone to have to divulge their sexual orientation before examination?

Is it really that, you think? The idea seems odd to me, i interact with men on a daily base i dont assume they are sexually attracted to me.

I dont think any man/gay woman could look at a women in labour or breastfeeding and think "corrr shes hot"

A male anything doesnt bother me at all. It is just their job and good on them. Its funny that if this were a woman being told no because of her sex then that would be sexist.

Works both ways

 

[My_First]

Re read your post ignore me!!!

 

[Fiona100912]

I had an internal exam by a male doctor when I was in labour so I think I would be fine with a male midwife being present, seeing me breastfeed etc.

The article says he was turned away because women are sensitive to men being present. To me it seems like an assumption, did they even ask the women attending?

 

[robinator]

What I find peculiar is the attitude of some women that a male OB/GYN is ok but a male nurse/midwife is not. Not saying it's wrong, just that I don't see the difference myself. They're all health care professionals.

I don't mind seeing a male doctor for a headache, tummy ache or something similar but to give me internal examination during labour is a big no no

I promise I am not being sarcastic; this is a genuine question! I don't understand why an internal exam done by a man is a no no, when a man seeing you naked in the first place is why you're in labor? Is it because he's a "stranger"?

 

[babyjan]

What I find peculiar is the attitude of some women that a male OB/GYN is ok but a male nurse/midwife is not. Not saying it's wrong, just that I don't see the difference myself. They're all health care professionals.

I don't mind seeing a male doctor for a headache, tummy ache or something similar but to give me internal examination during labour is a big no no

I promise I am not being sarcastic; this is a genuine question! I don't understand why an internal exam done by a man is a no no, when a man seeing you naked in the first place is why you're in labor? Is it because he's a "stranger"?

Yes because his a stranger, if there were no female midwives around then ok I guess I don't have the choice but as there were females around I said no

 

[Jaylynne]

Here's the thing. Most women taking a breastfeeding class aren't quite sure of the hang of it yet. So they may feel a little out of place and uncomfortable even without men present. If the UK is a low breastfeeding country and the nct is trying everything to get more women to breastfeed, wouldn't they want the women to feel comfortable? It's not like he couldn't ever watch a class. He specifically went to a women only class and got pissed off when he got denied access and claimed sexism. He should have gone to the coed class.

And as for me being fine with my male dr but seeing issues with how this article happened, it's because I could choose who I wanted as a dr. I could research, do background and see prior patient history/recommendations. I knew my dr. I needed my drs in the hospital male and female. A man going to a women only class is not needed. I would not know him. And I would have felt uncomfortable. I felt a little uncomfortable with a woman staring at my boobs when I tried to nurse in the nicu. Shouldn't we be promoting women being comfortable breastfeeding instead of a man trying to get into a women only class? Besides, in a few months after getting thr hang if it, I'm sure those same or most of those women feeling uncomfortable would be confident enough to go to a coed class or let him watch in the future.

 

[Tasha]

I think it is fine, the most important people in this situation is mother and baby, and how they feel not a midwife, male or otherwise.

I have had male obs and mw's do all sorts of internals, speculum examinations, check for PROM at 28 weeks and so on, none of it bothered me. However, I could not of dealt with a male healthcare professional whilst trying to establish BF, I found it hard enough to let females near me let alone males.

I was sexually abused from a very young age until well into my teens, when my breasts started developing he made jokes about them and in general humilated me over it. It has meant I have never been truly comfortable with them, even during what should be one of the most natural times. Why should his needs or wants, become before someone like me?

 

[pinklightbulb]

I too was sexually abused. I had a male midwife for a home visit after Liam was born which totally shook me up as I wasn't expecting a "him" at the door. I did find it uncomfortable when he was checking Liam's latch and examining my boobs because they were so engorged at the time. If I'd had warning I'd have chosen a female midwife, especially because the male one yelled at Eamon And I do mean proper told him off. Maybe I just didn't like him, not the fact that he was male, but that really didn't sit well with me. And FWIW, he was gay, so it's still possible to be uncomfortable with a gay male MW!

 

[Redfraggle]

I think it is the DM causing a drama out of nothing again!!

Surely the ONLY important thing in that class is the mums and babies and whatever it is they went there to learn. His desire to observe the class doesn't come into it in any way. I'm sure there were other places and ways he could learn about it. Why didn't he want to walk away when he knew his presence there was going to cause upset. Sounds like he was out to prove a point.

He has to accept that no everyone will accept his gender in that profession.

 

[special_kala]

I think it is the DM causing a drama out of nothing again!!

Surely the ONLY important thing in that class is the mums and babies and whatever it is they went there to learn. His desire to observe the class doesn't come into it in any way. I'm sure there were other places and ways he could learn about it. Why didn't he want to walk away when he knew his presence there was going to cause upset. Sounds like he was out to prove a point.

He has to accept that no everyone will accept his gender in that profession.

Would you say the same if this were a woman who was training to be a fireman?

 

[baskinps]

I think midwifery should stay as a women-only field. Considering what men did to obstetrics. I dunno, it just seems that women get it, on a different level. I would also be totally uncomfortable having another man other than my OH while I was giving birth. Let alone delivering.

 

[Redfraggle]

I think it is the DM causing a drama out of nothing again!!

Surely the ONLY important thing in that class is the mums and babies and whatever it is they went there to learn. His desire to observe the class doesn't come into it in any way. I'm sure there were other places and ways he could learn about it. Why didn't he want to walk away when he knew his presence there was going to cause upset. Sounds like he was out to prove a point.

He has to accept that no everyone will accept his gender in that profession.

Would you say the same if this were a woman who was training to be a fireman?

No but I would say it about a woman working in a sperm or prostate clinic for example. I just believe everyone should have a right to feel safe and comfortable if they are feeling vulnerable.

(Just for the record I don't have any issues with men in that profession. Had a male student in one of my fertility tests and believe me there is no dignity during them!!)

 

[Natasha2605]

I think midwifery should stay as a women-only field. Considering what men did to obstetrics. I dunno, it just seems that women get it, on a different level. I would also be totally uncomfortable having another man other than my OH while I was giving birth. Let alone delivering.

Why should women "get it" just because they are female as opposed to a male. Not all midwifes have been through birth

I don't believe any employment field should stay gender specific. You can't promote equality in some things but not others.

 

[Tasha]

I dont think it should be a female only profession, but I think if you are going to be a male midwife you do have to understand that there will be women who dont want to be cared for by a male.

A BF class was the only place I was told I could get support with my BF, now if I turned up and a male was there I would not stay, or if I did I would not return because of my past. So my BF journey could possibly end because of lack of support. That isnt right.

 

[baskinps]

I think midwifery should stay as a women-only field. Considering what men did to obstetrics. I dunno, it just seems that women get it, on a different level. I would also be totally uncomfortable having another man other than my OH while I was giving birth. Let alone delivering.

Why should women "get it" just because they are female as opposed to a male. Not all midwifes have been through birth

I don't believe any employment field should stay gender specific. You can't promote equality in some things but not others.

I can understand how I may be coming across but I stand by it. Already this particular man has shown insensitivity towards what these women were comfortable with and he is not yet a midwife. My midwife also had never given birth, but at least she has a vag and knows how it functions from a personal level. At least she can understand hormonal flux. Men can barely understand PMS and share jokes about it and women's tendencies to mood change. At least a woman can envision herself opening up to pass a baby. Try to find one man who can pretend he can close his eyes and imagine opening his vajayjay wiiiiide, or to flip on a hypnobirthing script and say that they can relate to it. When men took over obstetrics they didn't get it at all, they introduced unnecessary tools, strapped women down, put them on their backs, and began this propaganda about childbirth being scary, being painful, and basically an illness, despite midwives managing since the birth of our species. As a wildlife biologist I know that all mammals at times seek the comfort and support of other females during childbirth if not complete privacy, but they never mosy on over to a male in hopes that they will accept her flow of hormones when they are at their highesr peak. How could they? They don't and never will experience anything even close to it, and are not physiologically equipped for it.

My opinion. At least call yourself a midhusband, because I could never give a man the title of midwife. Midwifery is personal, not textbook.