Suggestions to win over hubby

[goddess25]

Ok so many of you know I have been lurking here for awhile and WTT #2. I had decided that Feb would be a good time, little one would be 1 and have to get on with things in regards to my age. However my DH is putting his foot down at the moment and saying that its not the right thing to do timing wise and he doesnt want to try.

I am disappointed but I can see his point, but am still hoping he will change his mind.

Our scenario is we live in Canada but we are both from Scotland. We have lived here for just over 3 years and we still have not settled, we have bought our house and we have had a baby but we are still longing for something else. We are both homesick in terms of missing parents and friends, but we dont want to really live in Scotland again. We are thinking about heading to the the North of our province or perhaps to the East coast, and he doesnt think its good to introduce a new baby when we are both trying to figure out what to do. We are heading to the UK in Jan for a vacation and are going to make up our minds about what to do afterwards.

Our other issue is we cannot find childcare for our current child and i am either going to have to work casual or DH is going to have to ask for a leave of abscence.. I am an RN, OH is a bus driver so we both work crazy shifts but just cant work anything out, its too hard. I am due back at work in Feb.

So basically he thinks we will be adding more stress onto our current situations if we added another baby into the mix. I have told him that i will be 36 when i most likely concieve and we cant really afford to wait around until we both get our heads together. I dont think having another baby is going to make too much difference to be honest. Dont get me wrong we are very happy together and he absolutely adores his little boy, and i know he will be happy with another too.

What do you think either way. Any suggestions to get him to come round. At the moment I am still planning on Feb and am continuing to take folic acid, and remain hopeful.

 

[parkgirl]

I'm so sorry your DH thinks he isn't ready right now. Not sure how he thinks things out, but with my DH, if he can see a plan in place (you find childcare, make a decision about where to live, have a plan in place for where you want to be six months from now) he is much more willing to consider things. He may just be afraid that he will be unable to provide for his family the way he wants.

I wouldn't give up on thinking you can start TTC in February. Maybe you can find a way to help him see how things will work when you have a second child. Then he can better wrap his head around it.

 

[Lois]

Hello! You and I both have LO's the same age and I too am beginning to think about the next one. Getting very broody and trying to work out how long OH is going to insist on waiting before we start ttc#2...I say "trying to work it out" rather than simply asking him outright because I know everytime I mention it he'll want to put it off by another couple of months. Why do men get so freaked out?!

SO, the only strategy I've worked out so far is not to bring the topic up too much!! Interested to see what answers you get here though so might stalk this thread for a while!

 

[goddess25]

Hello! You and I both have LO's the same age and I too am beginning to think about the next one. Getting very broody and trying to work out how long OH is going to insist on waiting before we start ttc#2...I say "trying to work it out" rather than simply asking him outright because I know everytime I mention it he'll want to put it off by another couple of months. Why do men get so freaked out?!

SO, the only strategy I've worked out so far is not to bring the topic up too much!! Interested to see what answers you get here though so might stalk this thread for a while!

Not many answers so far... guess no one has much advice to offer. I am just hoping time will make everything ok and he will agree to it in Feb, I am taking folic acid and he knows this but so far has not really said anything about it either way.

 

[plutosblue]

Personally, if I was in that sitaution I would try for another. It may sound a little crazy but you always learn to cope and well, if its already chaotic it wont be much worse..

I think men just stuggle with the idea of not being able to cope with costs and other issues, they like to see the future. I would just try to assure him that whatever happens you will always find a way to cope, cut costs somewhere somehow and if you can work out something to try and get some sort of childcare for your LO he may be more open to the idea.


That is just my own opinion, however you do need to do what is right for you as a couple, you can't force him into it if only it were that easy!

Hope this helps x