Summer babies- holding back school

[annanouska]

Hi all

We don't belong here just yet just wondered if anyone is or has held back on school?

My lo is a mid July baby and has always been a bit slower than others to develop. I know we are far off yet but it slightly worries me he will barely be 4 when he starts school it just seems so very young. Then I wonder if I hold him back he then will be a whole year later leaving secondary school than his peers its so hard.

I was a mid June baby and dh a September baby. He didn't do great at school I was top of the class so can't even base on our own experiences x

 

[Quartz]

If you are in England then holding back a year means they start into Year 1 a year later not that they become the oldest in reception - so he would still graduate with his peers but with a year less of school.

I prefer the scottish way where you could make him the oldest in the class (and therefore base it on individual children).

Also they do grow up a lot they go from babies to proper school children

 

[annanouska]

thank you I didn't realise that!

He is undergoing some testing ATM as he has some developmental delays so I will play it by ear

X

 

[alicecooper]

My DS1 is an August lad but I didn't hold him back. I didn't want him to go into Year 1 instead of Reception - I think he would have struggled to find his place socially if all the other kids had formed friendships before he started, and he would have felt a bit out of it.

He does struggle a lot. He's the second youngest in his year group (there's only one other girl who is 12 days younger than him has pipped him to the post there). However I'm sure with guidance he'll get there eventually.

He's in Year 2 at the moment but spends most of his time with the Year 1s and only SOME of his time with the Year 2s. His school has some overlapping classes to allow for ability.

By contrast my DD is a September kid and I really wish she had been able to start a year prior. She's technically a Year 3 kid but she is in a Year 4 class because she's too advanced to be in a Year 3 one. She would have benefited from starting early, even if she had been one of the youngest in her year.

So much depends on the individual child.

I've got the same problems again with my third and fourth. Child 3 is a September baby (he starts school in September), whereas child 4 is a July baby.

Damn these silly cut off points! I think it should all go on ability.

 

[RachA]

I considered holding back my eldest (10th Aug birthday) but didn't. There were two factors: 1-they don't then start in reception but go into year 1 with their peers and 2-you are very unlikely to get a choice of school as they won't hold a child's place open for you so your child will go where there are gaps in the classes.
Yes my son is struggling a bit but he will pick up and the gap will reduce. Had I kept him back a year he would still be struggling.

Iro the fact you are having a delay looked into-my daughter is very behind. She starts school in sept and will go to mainstream school and will be with her peers. You will find that if your lo does have a delay then he will still be with his peers unless the school agree with dropping children down. As Alice said-a lot of schools will keep children in their peer groups but work with the younger ones if needed.

 

[discoclare]

Have you been allocated a school for reception? One thing you can do is defer him until January or April and they would have to keep the place for you. As others said, if you chose to defer for a whole year he would have to start in year 1 and wouldn't be allowed to hold the place open for him into a different school, as such you would be doing in "in year" application for year one and may struggle to get a place.

 

[aimee-lou]

Have you been allocated a school for reception? One thing you can do is defer him until January or April and they would have to keep the place for you. As others said, if you chose to defer for a whole year he would have to start in year 1 and wouldn't be allowed to hold the place open for him into a different school, as such you would be doing in "in year" application for year one and may struggle to get a place.

This is what I was thinking of doing for my 2 youngest (27th May and 17th August so both in the later part of the year) if they need it. My eldest is an October baby (26th) and is so ready to go that he could have started school last year. He's looking forward to going in September - he doesn't want to go back to pre-school However if I feel that my other 2 need the extra time I'll defer them by a term, or ask to go half-weeks/part time for the earlier terms if I think they need it. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

 

[Missy86]

I don't worry about Rhys at all, he is very ready to start school (born June 6th)

I will worry about Liam cos he is an August baby, I may ask that he could do just the mornings till the Christmas but I have a long time till he starts school and he is very determined so I may not need to

 

[Tasha]

NM (my eight year old) birthday is right at the end of July and whilst she did find it tough for a few years and found the full days really hard going for a while, now that she is in year four she is the same as her peers. Just thought it might help to have the experience of someone whose child struggled and is now older. Having said that if your LO has delays then talk to the school before applying about what support would be put in place, talk to the health care providers about their thoughts on it all x

 

[seoj]

I was just thinking how old my LO will be when she starts public kindergarten (she'll almost be 6yrs)- but, like me, she'll be on the older side. My SD, has a June Bday- so she's always been on the younger side... she'll actually graduate High School next year right before she turns 18. For me, probably because I was always on the older end, I'm glad LO will be... not that there was really an issue with her being on the younger side. Other than when she started dating... cause even boys in her grade can be about a year older- and if she liked a boy 1 grade above her the age difference was more extensive

I did hear they are changing to Kindergarten full days in 2015 (in my area)- so I think with LO being older that will be Ok for her.

Just do whatever makes sense to you and your LO- either way, they won't know any different as time goes on. It all evens out

 

[freckleonear]

If you are in England then holding back a year means they start into Year 1 a year later not that they become the oldest in reception

1-they don't then start in reception but go into year 1 with their peers

As others said, if you chose to defer for a whole year he would have to start in year 1

This information is incorrect. Government guidance issued in 2013 has confirmed that it is unlawful for local authorities to have a blanket policy of admitting deferred children to Year 1 instead of Reception. Local authorities may still try to argue with parents but they are supposed to consider cases on an individual basis and are more likely to agree to the child entering Reception if there are developmental concerns or other reasons for deferring.

 

[RachA]

If you are in England then holding back a year means they start into Year 1 a year later not that they become the oldest in reception

1-they don't then start in reception but go into year 1 with their peers

As others said, if you chose to defer for a whole year he would have to start in year 1

This information is incorrect. Government guidance issued in 2013 has confirmed that it is unlawful for local authorities to have a blanket policy of admitting deferred children to Year 1 instead of Reception. Local authorities may still try to argue with parents but they are supposed to consider cases on an individual basis and are more likely to agree to the child entering Reception if there are developmental concerns or other reasons for deferring.

That also must depend on the school too though as DD has developmental issues and we spoke to the school she is going to about if they would drop her down a year and their policy is that they wouldn't drop her down a year. She would be able to do some if her small group work with the lower year but her actual registration class would be her direct peer group. I'm pretty sure that if we'd chosen a different school then their policy was different however this was what we wanted anyway.
Also most people I've spoken to who want to defer are just wanting it because they feel 4 is too young to start school rather than because of any developmental issues therefore the reason for deferring isn't necessarily one that the LA would recognise as a valid reason for holding back and placing them in a lower year.

 

[Kay_Baby]

It totally depends on the child. My sisters youngest turned 4 and then started school full time the next week. He was more than ready and has no issues keeping up with his peers.

I have the opposite problem. My eldest is an early September baby and at his nursery due to his ability is mainly with children who will be going to school a full year before him. It feels like he will wait a whole year longer to start school than he needs.

 

[Rachel_C]

My oldest is a September baby but I'm glad she's had longer in nursery (5 terms) as she was very shy and the extra time there has helped her gain in confidence by being first the youngest and then the oldest child there. My youngest, however, is an August baby. If she was shy too or young for her age I would definitely consider sending her just for mornings for the first term of Reception or longer if necessary. She's totally different to her sister though - very outgoing and confident so unless she struggles to cope with the long days I don't think anything like that will be necessary. I think it depends on personality at least as much as age.

If it did come to keeping a child back a year, I don't think it would make that much difference if they were a July/August baby. They'd only be a month or two older than the September babies in the year below them so it's not like you're 'wasting' a year of their life!

 

[hattiehippo]

If you are in England then holding back a year means they start into Year 1 a year later not that they become the oldest in reception

1-they don't then start in reception but go into year 1 with their peers

As others said, if you chose to defer for a whole year he would have to start in year 1

This information is incorrect. Government guidance issued in 2013 has confirmed that it is unlawful for local authorities to have a blanket policy of admitting deferred children to Year 1 instead of Reception. Local authorities may still try to argue with parents but they are supposed to consider cases on an individual basis and are more likely to agree to the child entering Reception if there are developmental concerns or other reasons for deferring.

While this is true it's very unusual for a child to start outside their year group in England and Wales and just being considered 'too young' because they are a summer birthday is not usually enough of a reason for schools to admit a child a year late.

It would be better if, like in Scotland, there was clear guidance that parents whose children were say July & August could request their child is held back if there were specific reasons why they needed to.

And while it doesn't sound like a big deal, if they stay a year back for their whole school life, you are effectively taking a year off them because they will finish a year later and this can cause difficulties with older students wanting to leave before they've finished school but can because legally they are above the age to finish school before they start their final year.

 

[stephx]

My LO is an august birthday, I won't be holding her back a year.

Intellectually she is so ready for school. She can count to 30, do basic addition and is starting to spell out words and I can't keep up with her!

Emotionally, she is very much still a 3 year old and I worry about her. She is reluctant to tell anyone when she is hurt/upset in preschool and I worry that when the teacher-child ratio drops that will get worse.

I wouldn't hold her back though as I think it wastes a year (not necessarily now- but in her teens when an extra year is important) and starting in year 1 would mean that all the children have already bonded socially.

I was a late July birthday too, and I did ok

 

[lovelylaura]

I'm just thinking ahead with Freya because she is the 27th august so will be one of the youngest but is it common for most schools to agree to half days for the first term? This is my only concern that it might be too long of a day for her. Thanks.

 

[RachA]

I don't know about all schools but the schools that i have spoken to have all been quite accepting. I've found that smaller schools are more open to things than bigger schools. I don't think you can be forced to send your child full time.
The only thing that i would say is that your child may want to be there full time. Daniel's birthday is 10th Aug and i wanted him to be part time until after christmas (looking back i should of gone ahead with it). The school he's at did part time for the younger ones until 10th Nov. However when we got back after the october half term we were told that they could now go to full time from a week earlier than that - the school had had a load of complaints from the parents saying it was too much hassle for them doing the half days because of work! I made the decision that i would still keep my son on half days for the extra week because he was really struggling with the long days. The last week of me going in to pick him up was really hard - he was the only one in the school office being picked up and looked as if he was being sent home because he was naughty or something. He also questioned be as to why he was going home but all his friends were still at school.
As i said - i wish now that i had gone with my gut and requested the half days until the christmas because once he went full time it was a nightmare - he honestly couldn't cope with it.

 

[Dragonfly]

This done my head in the other day as its slightly different here. My sons an aug baby so he has to wait an extra year to get in to school. He will be one of the oldest in his class. Thats the way they do it here.

 

[Bernie]

My and my OH had a meeting with my childrens head teacher about what to do with DD2 as her speech is delayed and still very much baby babbles although is getting better since being in nursery. Shes was born 23rd August so will be the youngest in her year group. She has had a speech thearpist out to her and she been refered to the early years team. I wanted her to stay back another year in nursery but apparently suffolk county council wont allow it for one reason or another. So between us all we agreed to let her stary of straight away with full time and see how she goes. As the nursery teacher said she will keep an eye on her and the new reception teacher they will be hiring also will let me know if DD2 is struggling with full time and put her down to part time. As the girls school is only a small villiage school ive been told that the school has only got 7 children in reception class in september so i have been told DD2 will get quite a bit of 1 on 1 time which i feel better about.