Superstitions

[bubbles]

Need a bit of a rant. My MIL is driving me insane with her rediculous superstitions. She won't let me touch any baby things when she is around let alone let us have them in the house I'm also starting to worry she might try and take over when he's here, she keeps bangin on about F£$%ing terry nappies (although I do have every intention of using re-usable nappies) I have tried to explain to her that I am using bio degradable nappies for the first couple of weeks (first poo and ease) bt she doesn't shut up. I have my pram already and it's being kept in her garage but as it's an old silvercross it needs a bit of work and she won't let me or DH do it. The worst thing is she almost had DH convinced with it all and it wasn't until I shouted at him (he wanted to get his parents to do the nursery while I was giving birth) that I actually got my own way.

I have told him I don't want his parents round for the first couple of weeks after I have the baby, which I think is fair as my parents won't be about either but he got really annoyed about it. I don't like my in-laws anyway due to an incident when I got pregnant at 19, his dad basically offered me money to have an abortion (much to their delight I miscarried ) and if I had my way they would have nothing to do with our little boy.

Sorry needed a rant

 

[xXDonnaXx]

 

[brownhairedmom]

Some people are so weird. Do what you want. Keep it at a friends house

 

[princess_bump]

am sorry sorry there being like this hunni no got much advice just

 

[PeanutBean]

That's really crap. I can relate to in-law problems, though they are not as bad as what you've mentioned! I'd just put your foot down about it all. I find I can't be much bothered to be polite and tiptoe around anymore so god help anyone that crosses me!

 

[Lois]

Really sorry hun. This could be a great opportunity for you to establish your position as mum and put your foot down about things. If you don't, you may be dealing with this crap for years. You say she won't "let" you...she can't dictate what you do so do what you want...and if she complains then you have evry right to say "This is mine and OH's baby and whilst it's wonderful that you care so much, we have to do things our way for our child." I know it might sound a bit scary but if she doesn't like it then it really is her problem, not yours.

Have you tried having a calm talk with your OH about why you don't want any parents around for the first couple of weeks? If you make it clear it isn't just his parents being banned would he be more willing to play ball?

Hope things get better for you. You can only control your own behaviour, not anyone else's so if something is unacceptable to you, don't accept it but always approach trouble in the calmest, coolest way you can.

Lx

P.S. What the hell do these people know anyway if they tried to pay you to have their grandchild aborted?! That must have been awful for you

 

[jobee2222]

aww bless, i feel for you. But its your baby and frankly superstitions are just that superstitions. talk to your partner and try to come up with some kind of compromise regarding his parents. You need your space and as for the baby things, its your decision to make.

 

[Sarah88]

man, they suck! I would hate to not be able to touch baby things, it's fun! And doing the nursery is your thing, it's like letting someone else decorate your house! Grrr... Stupid bitch.

 

[Blob]

Awww hun thats awful, i agree with the others, you will one day just loose your temper and tell her where to go!! Once you've done that things will be far better for you, was for me once i started to get more assertive!!

 

[Hope22]

Wow, sounds like your MIL wants to be WAY too involved with things! It's your baby, your pregnancy, your life - she shouldn't be dictating what you can and can't do; it's just not her decision. Sounds like she needs to be reminded that she had her turn, now it's YOUR time and it's okay if you have different ways of doing things.

My MIL is just plain crazy, and very superstitious. Hubby and I like to wind her up when she becomes too involved and starts telling us what to do (not saying this is a good solution for you, but it's fun for us). We've had a few minor confrontations, and she knows where she stands - she won't be allowed to care for our child (ever) without us around, because she can't be trusted not to smoke, or to listen to our instructions. She has proven in the past that she can't follow instructions for looking after a cat (my SILs) or dog (ours) in the owner's absence, because she thinks she knows best. No way on earth would I leave my child in her care, and she's well aware of this, and of why, but refuses to change. We just shrug and say it's her loss.

Assert yourself as best you can, and REQUIRE that your hubby helps you present a united front, and make her listen. It may be tense for a while, but it's best for your LO and your sanity in the long run.

 

[Vicky2806]

x

 

[Christine33]

the amount of problems families seem to cause people, esp MIL's.
touch your baby things if you want to, its your baby - your life. i have had my baby's pram indoors since 27weeks of pregnancy and i couldn't give a toss about superstitions or old wives tales.

i wouldn't want people staying for the first couple of weeks either so you aren't being unreasonable! and lets face it they aren't particularly nice to you or supportive so why would you even want them there!



Christine
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