Surprise surprise, now he wants to get back together

[suzanne108]

I knew this was gonna happen!

When we split up he suggested that we had a break then just before baby was born we'd get back together.....this got a big NO from me. No way he's leaving me to deal with pregnancy on my own then swanning back into my life....

Anyway lately as you all know if you've been reading my threads lol, he's decided he wants to be a good father etc etc.....and today I get a text....

"I'm so sorry Suzanne I still love you and want to care for you"

Surprise surprise!!!!!!!

There is absolutely no chance we'd get back together after some of the things he's said and done. I've made it clear there is no chance so I really hope thats the end of it. I cannot deal with him asking to get back together.....anyone else had to deal with this? I'm so soft that I actually feel quite bad, then I think is he trying to make me feel bad, emotional blackmail in a way? Maybe he's realised that I'm not gonna make things easy for him (since I emailed saying I wanted time to myself with LO for a couple of days after the birth) so he's decided that easiest thing for him is that we are together... I'm sure he'll do something to piss me off very soon so my sympathy probably won't last long!!!!

 

[McLovin]

what an arse - love it how these men are so stupid they think we will be able to forgive and forget after completely letting us down when we needed them most.
idiots!

 

[teal]

I hope you're ok. It's not fair him making you feel bad and it feeling like emotional blackmail

I hate when we feel bad when they're the ones who left us to it xx

 

[lou_w34]

I got the same of my FOB, he asked me back, i gave him a straight NO, not even if he was the last man on earth, and two weeks later he was with another girl, helping her look after her baby?? Yet mine got sod all!

Give him a few weeks hun and youll soon see if he means it or not.

I cant believe he said he's get back with you after the pregnancy That is terrible! Its like he knew he'd get to get out of the hard work!

Dont feel upset about it, just pitty him, he must be feeling pretty desperate now, just let him get on with it x

 

[sweetlullaby]

Flip that sucks ....i would reply saying look. you decided on "a break" the whole time i was pregnant and thats a time when i would have needed you the most. Anything i felt for you previously has now gone and its too late now. Sorry but i don't love you.

Or something along those lines lol Urg that really sucks though he's messing with your head and emotions when you've only over 4 weeks to go its completly unfair. How can he suddenly decide he loves you again and expect forgiveness when you've went through pregnancy with his child all on your own because HE decided it wasnt for him type thing!?

I reckon he's probably doing it because you've sent him the email saying you want a couple of days to yourself with your LO to bond etc without the added stress of him there and he's figured trying to get back together with you is the one way to guarentee he gets to see LO.

I dunno maybe you could say to him that you do want a couple of days to yourself but that your not gonna keep him from seeing LO at all. That he will be able to come down after a couple of days etc promise him or something to try and reassure him so he doesnt constantly bug you over the next few weeks....even tell him that once LO is born you'll give him a set day/time to come and visit. Think you said something about having high blood pressure, so you wouldnt need any harassment off him.

I know everyone has their different opinions on whether FOB should get to see LO straightaway etc and personally i think its personal choice as you know FOB and you know what the whole situation has been throughout better than anyone else. And i know myself it isnt a decision that we suddenly decide on ...its constantly on our minds and it takes time to come to whatever decision that we've made.

Sorry i waffled on a bit xx

 

[suzanne108]

Thanks for your replies. I'm feeling quite bad about this at the moment because I've just been talking about it to my best friend....she really doesn't see my point of view at all. But to be honest she's always kinda saw his point of view ever since I got pregnant and he went doolally. To be honest, although she's my best friend and I love her, I don't always listen to her advice because she's quite selfish. I mean, when we split up and I was calling him something rotten she said she understood that he didn't want the baby so why should he stick around!!! Also her bf is separated from his ex wife and kids, so she sees things from the male perspective. So anyway, even though I know I dont agree with her opinion she made me feel pretty bad.

But then I came on here and you ladies perked me up and made me realise that I AM right!!!! to you all.

Its totally not fair of him to put all this on me when I've not got long to go. Yep, I mentioned high blood pressure and when I got it checked today it was WAY too high and that was before he started with this!!!!

Anyway, there's no chance we'l get back together. I just have no feelings for him at all....and I don't think I ever could ever again. The closest I get to emotion when I think about him is hate/anger but even that is disappearing and its kinda turning into nothingness. When I saw him I felt nothing.....I didn't want to kill him, but I didn't want to jump into his arms either. I know the feelings of hate are there deep down, they rise when he annoys me like this!!!!

To be honest I don't even think he wants to get back together, I think he just thinks it will be easier. He thinks it'll mean that he gets to see LO straight away, it means he doesn't have to keep driving back and to for visits....probably being the cheapskate he is he's just trying to save money on not paying the travelodge when he's up here!!!!! Maybe even someone (his mum rules his life) has said it would be easier if we were together and he's gone "errrr yeah OK I'll ask her". He has no way been pining for me for the last few months....he's been out with his mates getting drunk some of which don't even know he has a baby on its way!!! He's been getting on with his life.....which I'm glad about because no way do I want him pining for me....just adds more stress!!!!

God I waffled there....I hope you can make sense of it in some way. I just wrote what was going through my head!!!!!

Oh good news is that he's accepted me having 2 days with LO when we get out of hospital, and he's coming on the third day.

you all deserve flowers for reading my rambling!!!!

 

[Welshcob]

Flip that sucks ....i would reply saying look. you decided on "a break" the whole time i was pregnant and thats a time when i would have needed you the most. Anything i felt for you previously has now gone and its too late now. Sorry but i don't love you.

Or something along those lines lol Urg that really sucks though he's messing with your head and emotions when you've only over 4 weeks to go its completly unfair. How can he suddenly decide he loves you again and expect forgiveness when you've went through pregnancy with his child all on your own because HE decided it wasnt for him type thing!?

I reckon he's probably doing it because you've sent him the email saying you want a couple of days to yourself with your LO to bond etc without the added stress of him there and he's figured trying to get back together with you is the one way to guarentee he gets to see LO.

I dunno maybe you could say to him that you do want a couple of days to yourself but that your not gonna keep him from seeing LO at all. That he will be able to come down after a couple of days etc promise him or something to try and reassure him so he doesnt constantly bug you over the next few weeks....even tell him that once LO is born you'll give him a set day/time to come and visit. Think you said something about having high blood pressure, so you wouldnt need any harassment off him.

I know everyone has their different opinions on whether FOB should get to see LO straightaway etc and personally i think its personal choice as you know FOB and you know what the whole situation has been throughout better than anyone else. And i know myself it isnt a decision that we suddenly decide on ...its constantly on our minds and it takes time to come to whatever decision that we've made.

Sorry i waffled on a bit xx

I think that was very well put!! Well done!