Swimming lesson disaster

[lau86]

I took my nearly 4 yr old for his first swimming lesson today. They put a float on his back and expected him to hold a float and kick along. Reasonable request IMO. Only my son refused to let go of the instructor and he eventually did but was still very clingy and wouldn't do it. He hasn't swam much due to me not taking him basically. I felt quite embarrassed and was just saying to him it's ok you'll be ok you've got a float on but nothing would persuade him. All the other children were fine but my lo was the only new one. At the end of the class the teacher said basically he is too high maintenance for this class and we would need to go to another. Everything seems to be like this with my son I'm a bit Ashamed to say I'm quite annoyed at him Though I'm trying not to show it. I don't know why he can't just listen and have a go.
How long can I expect this phase to last? My parenting style is basically to tell him to get on with it as IMO he needs to be able to swim. I'm not raising a child who just quits every time something is tough. They were very nice with him and he was having none of it.

 

[LoraLoo]

I understand they've got other children to teach too, but I feel like they've not given him much of a chance. It was a newish experience and his first lesson- they surely should understand that not all kids are confident in water. Surely part of their job is to build that confidence or maybe I'm missing something.

 

[OmarsMum]

Normal lol, DS was the same the coach had to carry him around the pool and talk to him to build some trust with him, I'd say another 3 classes and he will be fine.

 

[sophxx]

At least he got in. My lo won't or will but only if no water splashes him.
I'd say it's very normal and the coach and you need to be a little patient. Not every child gets everything or enjoys everything 1st time. Could dad take him swimming to get him more used to it?

 

[lau86]

I know it's me and I do have high expectations, that's my personality. I'm trying to reign it in and I hope my Son didn't feel it. I agree there wasn't much time for him to get used to it, he was never going to be right for the class as they are not beginners. The teacher has asked me to ring him in a bit to sort it out. I think I just needed a vent, having children is never straight forward is it!

 

[Cattia]

It sounds like he just ended up in the wrong class. Getting in the water when you can't swim is a pretty scary and unnatural thing to do so most children would be scared. Mine have been in and out of swimming lessons for years and still can't swim. It is kind of frustrating given we've spent so much money on it but I figure they will get there some day when they're ready. It sounds like he just needs to be in a class where they have fun and build confidence. Maybe some one to one lessons might help him?

 

[lau86]

I spoke to the teacher and he's tried to backtrack saying he told me the venue was wrong as the water was too cold but I think he knew it was wrong for other reasons. He's moving to a group with more teachers in a smaller pool with kids more his own age so hopefully it'll be good for him.

 

[LoraLoo]

The new class sounds like he will get more help and support, I hope it goes ok for him.

 

[Twinmum87]

I don't get why he wasn't put into a beginners class? Where mine go the instructors get into the pool with stage 1 swimmers. If they are being really OTT they will be sat on the side whilst the other children are given an instruction then give the other child some encouragment and show them exactly what to do in the water themselves and stay along with them whilst they swim a width whilst checking out on the other kids.

It annoyed me at my kids swim class last week thou as this kid was new in their class but she clearly should not have been in that stage at all. She couldn't kick her legs properly or swim a full width which you have to do to get out of stage 1 and she could not use her arms at all and had no clue how to so clearly had not completed stage 2 yet some how was on the list for stage 3. She kept messing about and the instructor spent so long sorting her out the rest of the kids barely did anything. Kids need to be put into the right group.

 

[RachA]

Definitly sounds like her was in the wrong class. If she's not really swam before then pretty much regardless of age he should have been out in a beginners class. The first thing they need to learn is confidence in the water. My daughter was not confidant at all. I watched her in a beginners class for over a year and saw all the children much up each term apart from her. It just took her so long to build up her confidance.

You also need to recognise that it's all very new to him and telling him to get on with it may not be helpful. He might not understand properly what he's supposed to do or he may need several lessons to be comfortable with a complete stranger telling him what to do.

 

[lau86]

I know, it's been a hard time for him going back to preschool after the holidays. I'm trying to change my attitude and not get so frustrated about it. He's like this with every activity we do a lot of patience is required!!

 

[Quartz]

I think it would be useful for you to see it from his perspective. Yes putting a float on your back is a reasonable request in a swimming lesson for people who can swim or those who have been swimming for awhile. But for someone who has not swum much before its a scary request that I think is too much. Its a bit like asking someone on their first driving lesson to go round a roundabout before they have mastered driving in a straight line.

I would put him in a lower level class where they work on feeling comfortable in the water etc first

 

[caz_hills]

Ah it sounds a bit mean of the teacher my son started at swimming lessons two terms ago and is still in the first class. He doesn't like being splashed in the face and won't go under. He still doesn't have much skill but has grown in confidence and that is amazing! He started off crying, wouldn't go in (he hadn't been in a pool without me) and clung to the instructor. But within a few weeks the crying stopped, he enjoys it and he is improving but very very slowly.

I was crying myself (shame) on the first week and it broke my heart seeing how scared he was. But the instructor promised me he would be ok and that she had taught over 1000 kids to swim and that this does happen. So I stuck with it and he is getting more confident.

I'm sorry your experience has not been good. Could you try another swimming school? X

 

[alibaba24]

although it seems like a reasonable request to you to put a float on his back. as a young child who can't swim having something on you like that as well as dealing with the water would be really scary imo

 

[lau86]

I don't know why a swimming teacher with so many years experience would've asked him to do that if he didn't feel it was ok for him to do it. Anywho, I get what everyone is saying so thanks

 

[moggymay]

My eldest is now 8, it took him weeks to be willing to put his face in and his feet off the floor at the same time (unless he tripped over and fell forward) He started in lessons aged 4.5 and is now able to swim over 1500m. My youngest we started in a pre-school class aged 3.5 and he took to it after a few weeks, he is just past his 5th birthday and has his 10m, he is doing better I think because he was in a class of ONLY pre-school children until he had his water confidence and understoon how to hold a float and kick, then he moved to stage 1 which is still non-swimmer but school aged non-swimmers. It made a huge difference and I would definitely recommend finding a class of children the same age, also the water ratios mean more instructors in with them which again builds their confidence and they are unlikely to not like any of the instructors...

 

[lau86]

He's had his second lesson which is a class with children more his own age and 3 instructors. He did brilliantly which is what I knew he could. I guess my frustrations were coming out in the wrong way. I knew he could enjoy himself and he was very proud which is lovely to see.

 

[LoraLoo]

So pleased to read this 😊

 

[lau86]

I'm not expecting an Olympic swimmer or anything but i love arranging an activity which he really enjoys and gets something out of

 

[CaptainMummy]

That sounds great!

My daughter actually had a similar experience. She had her first lesson a couple of weeks ago and was put into the 4+ group since she is at school... BUT she hate hate hates water in her face (to the point where she cries) and I knew it would be a disaster. She went in all excited and they were given a float and the other kids swam away with their float, faces under water quite the thing. The instructor expected Paige to do the same, even though she had never even been before!

I actually just called today to cancel her lessons but they allowed me to move her to the preschool 3-4 class which will hopefully help build her confidence. She isnt at all scared of the water, just doesnt like it on her face.

(i took her swimming last weekend and she was dunking her head under with me, so I feel she just needs a bit of a gentler approach as opposed to 'throwing her in at the deep end')