Take new job or wait (forever!) for baby??

[CherryChops]

Hi there,

I have a dilemma and I was wondering if anyone else out there has been in the same position. Hubby and I have been TTC for a year and half now with no results. I am on clomid and have been for 5 months but it doesn't seem to be working. It feels like BFP is a long way off for me and I am just fed up and feel like I am losing hope.

Anyways, I am not particularly happy at work either (which doesn't help the 'no baby' stress at all). I have just seen my dream job in a magazine. Should I apply for it (and continue TTC) risking having to tell them I am pregnant in first few months if it does happen quickly, or stay where i am in my current job and hope i get pregnant soon? The maternity leave is really good where I currently am, but it could be years, if ever, when I finally get to use it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[longing]

Go for the job!!!

I have passed up oppurtunities 'in case' I don't recommend it, your life has to carry on, that is what I have learnt. (we have been ttc for nearly 3 years) You will be much happier, and be distracted from thinking about ttc whilst learning your new job, these things could be good for you. And if you do get pregnant early, well that's just how it happens sometimes. My friend got a new job, then almost immidiatly found she was pregnant, she was so scared she hid it for ages but company was fine with it (they have to be!)

Good luck with both ttc and job xx

 

[wonderstars]

Go for the job! I have passed up a few opportunities as well and regret it. I had a friend exactly like longing. Switched jobs and found out on her last day of the old one that she was preggo. In fact, I'm thinking about applying to a job this week but we're down a nurse so I feel badly about it. Aargh.

 

[Boston07]

APPLY! I agree with previous posters. You need to create a full life that keeps you emotionally healthy.

 

[CherryChops]

Thanks for everyone's reply so far. I think I am reaching the same conclusion as you all. Life must go on...

x

 

[MrsPete]

I've just started a new job at the same time as starting aggressive fertility treatments. And it's a position where I may not be able to do the work if I get preggo - I work outside in the heat, heavy lifting, etc.
Not that you hope to continue having trouble getting pregnant, but some women try for years (like me). If you spend years at a job you hate, waiting to get pregnant, you'll feel bitter that you didn't take this opportunity. If you become pregnant you may feel trapped in the crappy job due to your new responsibility. Apply for your dream job!

 

[Pinkie 33]

I agree with the other posts. I'm a strong believer that its better to regret something you've done then something you havent and on that basis, I usually act on my instincts, however complicated the outcome may be!

If you are feeling happier and settled at work then it will help you deal with the LTTC. If you do get the BFP then as has been said, they will have to be fine with it.

Lots of luck to you

 

[millianaire]

yes i agree i am starting a new job next month an worried i may be pregnant but its not stopping me, i would regret it if i didnt do it, and you can always make it work, where there is a will theres a way getting pregnant doesnt end your career it just pauses it for a while good luck and be hapy at work and you will be happy and concieve faster

 

[xxshellsxx]

I'm in a similar position. We set up our own business about 6 months ago - on the side of our main jobs, and travel the country regularly.

We had put a bid in for a job a few weeks ago, to do our job on a themed cruise around the Med next August, never ever thought it would come off!

Well guess what! Our bid was accepted and it's now booked! We've had to make the difficult decision to stop TT for 6/7 months as i wouldn't be able to take a young baby with me, and there is no way i could leave one at home for 10 days!

I can still do my part of the job with a 5/6 month bump and risk being at sea and abroad for 10 days at that stage, assuming i ever finally get PG and all is well!

So we're going to take a break, lose some weight and start again in february. It hasn't been an easy decision, and i did shed a few tears at having to actually try and prevent a PG.

We had plans for a friend who is training to do my role, should i ever finally get PG, for round the UK - but this is the opportunity of a lifetime for us a couple to experience something we could never afford to do! 10 day trip, working for 5 of them and they are paying us to be there!

6/7 months is a small sacrifice to make for him to live his dream!

We're going to continue with all our testing, which can take ages anyway so hopefully when Feb comes round again we will have a better understanding of why i have never ever gotten PG.

xx

 

[aintlifegrand]

Go for the job! My department actually recently hired a girl that was 9 months pregnant.

 

[Kimiw]

Hi there,

I have a dilemma and I was wondering if anyone else out there has been in the same position. Hubby and I have been TTC for a year and half now with no results. I am on clomid and have been for 5 months but it doesn't seem to be working. It feels like BFP is a long way off for me and I am just fed up and feel like I am losing hope.

Anyways, I am not particularly happy at work either (which doesn't help the 'no baby' stress at all). I have just seen my dream job in a magazine. Should I apply for it (and continue TTC) risking having to tell them I am pregnant in first few months if it does happen quickly, or stay where i am in my current job and hope i get pregnant soon? The maternity leave is really good where I currently am, but it could be years, if ever, when I finally get to use it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

thats a tough one. On one hand you are not happy but you have good maternity leave where you are at and on the other you have the chance at your dream job. I have been through that too, and I turned down my dream job because we had been ttc for almost two years and I had the same concern that you do. But yet, here me and DH are 6 YEARS later and still no baby to show for. I am not saying you will be in the same position as we are, but I really would hate for you to think about what could have been if you had went for your dream job. If I had gone for it I would have been right where I wanted to be and the company had awesome benefits. I think you need to follow your heart on this one, it would be discrimination if they wanted to judge you or fire you for getting pregnant. Most companies know that things like that happen, especially if they hire a young woman in her child bearing years. I think you should go for it, doesn't mean you are going to get the job right? but if you do get an offer at least you have some real choices and you can decide from there. Good luck to ya!

 

[CherryChops]

Well, I have decided to go for it and have sent off my CV! Fingers crossed for the next step in my life (even if it doesn't include a baby....just yet)

Thank you ladies for all your sound advice

xx

 

[RKW]

I had this decision to make back in January. I stopped trying for 2 months whilst I gave notice at the old job and started the new, and now am back trying. I felt it was a better decision in the long term, and the extra money was enough to pay for nursery costs so made a lot of sense.
Felt very strange to use condoms for those few months though, as after TTC for a year and not having a BFP I wasn't really seeing any point!
Good luck in your decision x