Teaching your child about their bodies

[grover]

Hi all,

This is a really morbid post, so apologies in advance. I have a 4 year old boy and he is due to start school is September. Obviously his social circle will increase when he is at school. He has been going to nursery so far and also looked after by his grandparents - all of whom we trust completely.

My question is really, how do you tell your child that they should be mindful of who touches them and where? I don't even know where to begin.... there has been so much in then news about this lately. Do children know instinctively about this and how do you encourage them to be open with you, if (god forbids) they are abused? My best friend was abused as a child and she said she instinctively knew it was wrong, but was too scared to tell anyone. I was the first person she told - when we were at uni!!! Her experience has always stayed with me and you always think - I would never let that happen to my child, but how can you be vigilant?

Sorry, I have not been very eloquent in describing my concerns.... does anyone get what I am talking about???

 

[MummyMana]

I can't remember the details but there was a pamphlet in my gp waiting room about teaching your child about this sort of thing. It was simple and to the point without getting into much detail, and the first letter of each point spelled out "pants" to help them remember. It was a good leaflet but I didn't take it in too much as Imogen isn't at the age yet where she is would understand, let alone be in the care of strangers, but I remembered it for future reference.

Edit: found it https://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-a...derwear-rule/the-underwear-rule_wda97016.html

 

[grover]

Many thanks for the link. Its one of those subjects where I would not even know where to begin, so any info. is good. cheers

 

[JASMAK]

I don't think it's morbid. I wouldn't make it so. It's matter of fact. I tell my kids stuff all the time. What they shouldn't do and what others shouldn't do. Start early.

 

[Beckettshades]

With my 4 yo I've just explained that her bits are hers, everyone has there own bits and pieces and they're just for them.
She knows that sometimes mummy needs to wipe her (my god that child can get sand anywhere!) and sometimes a doctor has to look (and mummy would always be with her for that) but no one else ever should.
She's just accepted it fine x

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I've told Lucas that there are parts of his body that are private and nobody (including me) is allowed to see or touch. Sometimes myself or a doctor will need to, but we will always ask first. And I always do, I also ask him before I put cream on etc to remind him it's his body and he has a choice (but he also has severe eczema so if he says no, it's an argument )
I don't want to make it sound scary at this age so I've just told him that nobody else has any right to see and if they try to, he should let me know and I'll see if they should be allowed. I enforce this every so often because he's forgetful. It's difficult because he's insistent that adults have authority so he says "if my teacher asks, I will let her". It usually ends in a huge conversation for us

 

[PresqueVu]

I've had a few chats with my one about this but been a little unsure. It's a really tricky line because you don't want them to think certain bits of themselves they need to be ashamed of =/

MummyMana - thank you for posting that link

 

[seoj]

At my LO's 30mos appt her pediatrician explained is was Ok that she check under her diaper cause she was her doctor-- she said we should start early. Just reminding her it's only ok for mom/dad/doctors to see her privates for good reason etc... who knows how much she truly "get's" at this age- but if we just simply remind them from time to time- and keep an open line of communication as they grow- then hopefully they will always feel open enough to talk to their parents or someone they trust to listen. I have a VERY open line of communication with my teenager. She was 9yrs when I became her full time parent- so hubby had already done the work... but she absolutely knew was was or wasn't ok. And never hesitated to tell us when someone made her uncomfortable-- we always tell her to "trust her gut".

It's a great thing to teach our kids this stuff as they grow- cause they will understand it differently at every stage. So I'm sure there will be many conversations to come with my LO just like there was with my oldest (who's 17 now)...

 

[RinnaRoo]

Ive had this talk with Gabriel. We look because we have too, to make sure its ok if we notice its red or if he says it hurts. That his peepee is his only. If someone else touches him, he is to yell really loud and get away. Hes never alone with anyone besides us, and his grandparents.
I really don't like strangers around my kid.