teen pregnancy resentments **BFP mention**

[theclarks8687]

So i got my first bfp in 5 yrs this month. I am excited about it of course but I started reading in preg first tri and I didn't realize teens posted there and I'm talking under 18. I can not stand reading about 16 yr olds fussing because people in their lives are upset over their bfps and and how frustrating it was to try ttc for .....wait for it.... 5 months! I didnt even know teens were allowed to post in tww sections and ttc sections anyways. I honestly believe teens need to stay in the teen pregnancy section.

 

[hopingforit]

Congrats on your pregnancy! I always appreciate the warning of a BFP announcement so thank you for that.
I know how you feel though. I have only been trying for 17 months - 19 cycles at this point but it is frustrating seeing anyone announce their BFP when they haven't been trying long (for me anyway). I am 20 but am happily married and have good financial stability but I can understand the frustration of seeing people under 18 announcing their pregnancies like that. I think the teen pregnancy section is there for a reason. They can vent about problems with their family and problems they have with being pregnant etc. I can definitely understand the frustration of seeing "oh I didn't get pregnant for 5 months." I know that before I met my DH, I had no desire whatsoever to be pregnant and wouldn't have tried. I never venture over to the pregnancy forums so I don't know if they are allowed there or not but I understand why you don't think it's right.

Congrats again on your pregnancy! Have a H&H 9 months!!!

 

[theclarks8687]

Congrats on your pregnancy! I always appreciate the warning of a BFP announcement so thank you for that.
I know how you feel though. I have only been trying for 17 months - 19 cycles at this point but it is frustrating seeing anyone announce their BFP when they haven't been trying long (for me anyway). I am 20 but am happily married and have good financial stability but I can understand the frustration of seeing people under 18 announcing their pregnancies like that. I think the teen pregnancy section is there for a reason. They can vent about problems with their family and problems they have with being pregnant etc. I can definitely understand the frustration of seeing "oh I didn't get pregnant for 5 months." I know that before I met my DH, I had no desire whatsoever to be pregnant and wouldn't have tried. I never venture over to the pregnancy forums so I don't know if they are allowed there or not but I understand why you don't think it's right.

Congrats again on your pregnancy! Have a H&H 9 months!!!

thank u for the well wishes and I hope you get your too. And I understand being young and trying to conceive. We started when I was 19 (I was a but young at the time admittedly) But 16! And it doesnt help with new shows like Teen Mom that make some of these girls look like heroes. I saw one girl who was 15 say that she didnt understand why everyone was upset because she would rather stay at home with her kid then go out partying every night so she purposefully got pregnant so she could do something "meaningful" with her life.

And for the record I am not dogging on teen moms and girls who have oopses. I am upset at the ones who are trying to make their lives and the lives those children harder.

 

[africaqueen]

Just wanted to say a HUGE congrats as i am LTTTC too and it does make me mad when teenage girls moan about ttc for a few mths! Im not saying for one minute that teenagers make bad mothers or anything like that, but to actively ttc at 16/17yrs old is crazy. They dont have the finances or life experience to be planning such a huge thing such as being a mother. Some make fab mums but dont think its advisable to be bragging about it on ttc forums? xxx

 

[theclarks8687]

Just wanted to say a HUGE congrats as i am LTTTC too and it does make me mad when teenage girls moan about ttc for a few mths! Im not saying for one minute that teenagers make bad mothers or anything like that, but to actively ttc at 16/17yrs old is crazy. They dont have the finances or life experience to be planning such a huge thing such as being a mother. Some make fab mums but dont think its advisable to be bragging about it on ttc forums? xxx

Thank you and thats exactly what I am saying. My sister was 16 and pregnant and it was extremely rough on her and I now help raise me nephew who even has his own room at my house. But no one wants the same thing in their 20s that they did at 16/17. I know I don't!

 

[africaqueen]

Very true.
I am now almost 31 and i have changed soooo much from when i was 20 let alone as a teen. I feel at this stage in my life i have lived so much and been selfish and travelled etc and now i am more than ready to put my child first and share my life with them Just pray it happens soon. Hope u have a happy and healthy pregnancy xxx

 

[theclarks8687]

Very true.
I am now almost 31 and i have changed soooo much from when i was 20 let alone as a teen. I feel at this stage in my life i have lived so much and been selfish and travelled etc and now i am more than ready to put my child first and share my life with them Just pray it happens soon. Hope u have a happy and healthy pregnancy xxx

thank u again and I hope you get yours very soon!

 

[irmastar]

Hi congrats on your pregnancy..I am not gonna give my opinion as I once was 15 and pregnant(I got pregnant on the pill) and had it rough looking after a baby, having 3 jobs and going to school wasn't easy but just wanted to say that teenagers aren't allowed by forum rules to post on the tww or ttc sections. Once pregnant they can post on the teen section not sure about the the other pregnancy forums..
Wishing you a H&H9 months

 

[theclarks8687]

I again am not saying anything bad about teen moms in general. I'm talking about tge ones who ate trying to get pregnant at 16

 

[theclarks8687]

And thank u and congrats to u too

 

[wonderstars]

I was mentioning a little while back about maybe an interest in a forum for LTTC'ers who became pregnant. My cousin was a teen mom so I can't really comment on that cause I love her son, but I think for those who get pregnant on a whim (which many teens do but also older gals) it's a very different experience.

 

[jessandaj]

Ill be honest i got married at 17 and started to try but i was married and we lived on our own and supported ourselfs and everything and it hasint happend yet and i get frustrated when i see young teens talking about getting pregnant and they dont even have it together it just makes me mad anyways congrats on your pregnancy

 

[lovie]

congratulations on your bfp the clarks i hope you have a happy and healthy long awaited 9 months!

i dont mean to offend but i find it sad when people have negative veiws on others situations, sure it might not be ideal to have a baby when your 15/16, but to say they should stay in the tean mum section i think is mean... they could probably really do with the support/advice of older more mums to be with more life experience.

if everyone just focuses on their own journy and ignores those people that deeply offend them for whatever reason and help those they can then everyone will be happy.

as a parent your children will probably come into contact with children whos parents are teanage mums, or any other group of people that you dont aprove of, and surely you want to teach your child not to judge and to be acepting and open minded to others regardless of how you choose to live your life?

i know it can be frustrating when lttc to see floods of bfp's especially from those that seem to have it so easy but now the clarks you have a bfp, you dont have to resent these people

 

[hopingforit]

I was mentioning a little while back about maybe an interest in a forum for LTTC'ers who became pregnant. My cousin was a teen mom so I can't really comment on that cause I love her son, but I think for those who get pregnant on a whim (which many teens do but also older gals) it's a very different experience.

I like this idea. I always feel bad that I am so upset over not getting pregnant after just a year and a half (well not just...it's a long time) and there are so many other women out there who have tried so much longer, but I also feel that once I become pregnant, I will want to be able to talk about the struggles of being pregnant, especially the fear of losing it after trying for so long, with people who have been in the same boat as me. I almost feel that people who don't try as long (or at all) or who haven't had recurrent miscarriages etc, won't feel the same as me and won't know what I'm going through.

 

[CuddleBunny]

Congrats on your long awaited bfp, Clarks!

I do understand your frustration, but at the same time I am sure these pregnant teens (accident or not) are just looking for some help and people to talk to. Possibly they don't even know about the the teen section quite yet Maybe from now on if you see teens posting in the regular pregnancy section, kindly point them to the teen boards. That's what I do when I see them asking things in the normal TTC boards

 

[NavyWife84]

I was mentioning a little while back about maybe an interest in a forum for LTTC'ers who became pregnant. My cousin was a teen mom so I can't really comment on that cause I love her son, but I think for those who get pregnant on a whim (which many teens do but also older gals) it's a very different experience.

I like this idea. I always feel bad that I am so upset over not getting pregnant after just a year and a half (well not just...it's a long time) and there are so many other women out there who have tried so much longer, but I also feel that once I become pregnant, I will want to be able to talk about the struggles of being pregnant, especially the fear of losing it after trying for so long, with people who have been in the same boat as me. I almost feel that people who don't try as long (or at all) or who haven't had recurrent miscarriages etc, won't feel the same as me and won't know what I'm going through.

I was just thinking about this yesterday...I LOVE the ladies I have met on B&B and am so glad to have somewhere to talk to people who understand what I am going through. But, I don't know what I'm going to do when I finally do get pregnant (notice I said when, not if...PMA for today...lol). I really don't want to hear people say "finally" after only a few months, complain about their pregnancy symptoms, etc. It is just going to p*ss me off! I don't want to hear that stuff. I want to be able to talk to other women who fear losing the baby after waiting so long to have it, women who love getting "fat" because there is a baby/babies growing there...etc. I fear that I will just get angry every time I go on the pregnancy forum and I will have to let go of B&B

 

[theclarks8687]

I was mentioning a little while back about maybe an interest in a forum for LTTC'ers who became pregnant. My cousin was a teen mom so I can't really comment on that cause I love her son, but I think for those who get pregnant on a whim (which many teens do but also older gals) it's a very different experience.

I like this idea. I always feel bad that I am so upset over not getting pregnant after just a year and a half (well not just...it's a long time) and there are so many other women out there who have tried so much longer, but I also feel that once I become pregnant, I will want to be able to talk about the struggles of being pregnant, especially the fear of losing it after trying for so long, with people who have been in the same boat as me. I almost feel that people who don't try as long (or at all) or who haven't had recurrent miscarriages etc, won't feel the same as me and won't know what I'm going through.

I was just thinking about this yesterday...I LOVE the ladies I have met on B&B and am so glad to have somewhere to talk to people who understand what I am going through. But, I don't know what I'm going to do when I finally do get pregnant (notice I said when, not if...PMA for today...lol). I really don't want to hear people say "finally" after only a few months, complain about their pregnancy symptoms, etc. It is just going to p*ss me off! I don't want to hear that stuff. I want to be able to talk to other women who fear losing the baby after waiting so long to have it, women who love getting "fat" because there is a baby/babies growing there...etc. I fear that I will just get angry every time I go on the pregnancy forum and I will have to let go of B&B

I completely agree with you on everyone of those levels, especially the irrational amount of fear of loosing something after trying for so hard and the annoyance of women complaining about the most minuet stuff because they are ready for the pregnancy to be over.

 

[theclarks8687]

For the record I will state again I am not against teen moms but I am against 17 and under trying to have a baby but that is my opinion. I should not have started this thread and cannot figure out how to close it. I did not mean to offend anyone and again my sister is was a teen mom herself and I respect those girls who step up to a plate they should never have had to deal with when they have had an oops. I was just having a bad day and was ranting about everything. Again I am sorry to have offended anyone.

 

[hopefull85]

So i got my first bfp in 5 yrs this month. I am excited about it of course but I started reading in preg first tri and I didn't realize teens posted there and I'm talking under 18. I can not stand reading about 16 yr olds fussing because people in their lives are upset over their bfps and and how frustrating it was to try ttc for .....wait for it.... 5 months! I didnt even know teens were allowed to post in tww sections and ttc sections anyways. I honestly believe teens need to stay in the teen pregnancy section.

congrats i have been TTC for 5 years as well and i am to the point of feeling like its never going to happen

 

[theclarks8687]

So i got my first bfp in 5 yrs this month. I am excited about it of course but I started reading in preg first tri and I didn't realize teens posted there and I'm talking under 18. I can not stand reading about 16 yr olds fussing because people in their lives are upset over their bfps and and how frustrating it was to try ttc for .....wait for it.... 5 months! I didnt even know teens were allowed to post in tww sections and ttc sections anyways. I honestly believe teens need to stay in the teen pregnancy section.

congrats i have been TTC for 5 years as well and i am to the point of feeling like its never going to happen

I know it can definently feel like that at times. We went 3 yrs before we found out it was dh the whole time.