Me and dh have always been inseparably close. I knew having a baby would change things but I never knew it would be so hard. Our baby is near 3 weeks.I feel like I never see dh. I miss him. We can't cuddle because she is always feeding or crying. We don't talk about anything other than her, we sit in separate chairs so i can feed, we don't get to go to bed together because I have to stay up to settle her, we eat dinner separately because she is usually screaming, dh is at work all day but when he is home I just feel like we have no time together and I miss my husband! Someone tell me it gets easier?
I sympathise SO much. I went through a very rough time at this stage with DS and felt exactly as you describe! DS is now almost 4, so first, yes, I can promise and I can say this because I KNOW, it gets better. In fact it doesn't just get better, it gets to be wonderful and better than it was pre-baby. Honest!
When DS was a few weeks old, I was pretty miserable. I loved him of course! But in the smallest way, I would resent the time he took up. I remember having a slight meltdown over just wanting to have a bath and a conversation "like a normal person". Me and OH were the same - been best friends/OHs since teenhood, and used to loads of time together, watching films, going out together, long conversations, etc. For years it was just us, as it is for a lot of couples! So when DS came along, it was a shock to the system. I missed OH desperately and felt like nothing more than some machine who just zombied about feeding, shhhing, cuddling, cleaning, and all the while, attempting to hold a conversation of 3 words at least! I almost wanted to press pause and snuggle up to OH in silence and remember what it was like to just be quiet and still for awhile! It's normal to feel like that I promise- well, it was for me anyway.
Hormones are going crazy, as are emotions, and you're exhausted, and when you're tired, everything is a big deal, everything is heightened and everything seems bigger than it is. Try not to expect too much too soon. This was my biggest flaw. I wanted a routine, everything to be smooth, everything to be normal and back to how it's always been, but just with a sleeping baby in the background. That does happen eventually, but just not yet. So if I had advice for me back then, and I could turn back the clock, I would relax, take each day, resign yourself to the fact that things are going to be unlike everything you've known for a while - and just be. Then somehow, you get into a routine, and a new "normal" happens and you feel right at home again!
Then, when you're ready and everything's a bit calmer, make sure you have a nice date night
But it does get better. These first few weeks are wonderful, but they are bloody bloody hard.
I remember feeling the same as you described. You will all fall into a routine soon and you will feel more like yourself little by little.
