Telling my Parents didn't go according to plan...

[Dindlewood]

I worked Christmas Day (Hard to turn down double time now ) so I wasn't able to see my family until Boxing day. From the minute I got in the house people were trying to pour alcohol down my throat. I made excuses about needing something to hydrate me first because I wanted a minute alone to tell my mum about my pregnancy and depression before telling everyone else. She was too busy making food with my step dad so there was never a time when it was just me and her. Eventually she sat down with just me and my older brother and I decided to tell her about my anti-depressants as a reason I would not be drinking. She looked concerned but my little brother came in and I stopped talking so she followed my lead.
However she did make me tell my step dad and that is when everything went wrong. All of the reasons I didn't want to tell my parents about my depression in the first place, everything I didn't need to hear spilled from my step dad's mouth. Now is a time I need support more than ever and all I got was condescension and a lecture. My parents apparently do not think that I am able to take care of myself because of my depression (ignoring the fact that by taking my medication and going to counselling I am taking care of myself).
I didn't end up telling them about the baby. My baby is a blessing and I will not let them make me feel badly about it. Yes, the baby is a surprise but it will be loved and cared for and if they cannot be supportive then they will miss out.
I have my own family to worry about now.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to vent in a place that I won't be judged, had enough of that these last few days

 

[Feff]

I hope everything works out for you you're definitely being mature and taking care of yourself by taking the medication and going to counselling! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise x

 

[MummyMana]

If there's one thing I've learned over the past year, is that mental health is still horribly misunderstood, although awareness has raised a lot recently, also there are pretty much no resources for the families of people with mental health issues if youd like to talk to someone who not only has been in the shoes of someone with anxiety and depression, but also has watched a loved one go back and forth to hospital because of it, feel free to inbox me Inever judge you're already so strong by getting help, you know that!

 

[Kiki1993]

I know how you feel in a way, my mum and sister both have depression, when I tried tot ell my mum about my depression about 2 years ago she said
"And what the fuck do you have to be depressed over" told me to shut up and left the room refusing to talk about it. Honestly some people you do not talk to about it. You would think I could talk to my mum about depression, she went through it too, her oldest daughter (my sister) tried to kill herself due to depression but when i tried to speak to her about mine which is what my doctor told me to do, she shut me down. I'm happier talking about it with my partner, knowing he wont shut me down and i can be completely honest about it. Since having that and being able to truly open up without fearing judgement I have made leaps and bounds of progress, I haven't self harmed in 5 years and haven't thought about self harming for almost a year, I relapsed a bit when my dad died and i quit my job but that was the grief that made me think like that. Do you have anyone like my OH you can speak too? Honestly some people just don't get it and aren't in the position to help, your step dad sounds like that kind of person but maybe your mother could tell him not to comment if he has nothing constructive to say?
As for the pregnancy don't tell them until you are ready

 

[lisaalove]

You don't have to say anything if you don't want to they're reaction to you being an adult and not drinking with your meds should have been a point when they realized oh hey she's being a mature adult or maybe when you took the first step to try and help yourself, or even telling them. I'm sorry it is just really irritating to me when a parent acts like that. My father refused to believe I was depressed and until one day when I was asleep on the couch and my sleeve rolled up my mom finally found out and understood. My mother was very understanding, my dad on the other hand just said I should probably be in a mental facility. Having someone who understands and listens is crucial to starting the process of getting better. I'm happy for you and glad you are one of the few who know what's wrong and want to help yourself in ways that many are afraid to. ♡

 

[missk1989]

I dont think parents cope with these things well. When my parents found out I had been making myself sick (bulimia) they grounded me! I think it was very brave to tell them. Maybe find another way to tell them about the baby. A letter may be a good idea, just to allow you to get everything out.

 

[Dindlewood]

Thanks everyone for being so understanding. I'm so glad we have this forum, it really makes a difference having people who you can talk to who understand. My OH is great and he really listens but because he has never had depression he finds it difficult to empathise and while he's annoyed at my family, he obviously does't want to say anything against them because we will make up eventually.
I think I'm going to stick to my plan of taking my mum aside to tell her but I'm just not sure when that Will be now

 

[kajastarlight]

I have battled depression and anxiety my whole life. To the point where it is just "one of those things" - some people are lactos intollerant, some people are allergit to peanuts, some people have depression/anxiety. Really my whole family is like that. So when I met my now DH's family and they were like "depression is for the week! You don't need medications. If you feel depressed then change whatever it is that is making you that way" ----- um..... the way my brain doesn't produce the right balance of hormones?? Sure... I'll get right on that. Oh wait, the only way to change that is to take medications... *sigh* they are comming around though as I am very open with my menal health issues. Maybe your parents will come around too. Perhaps offer a group therapy session? Just a thought. Sometimes parents have a hard time with anything that makes them see their kid may be less than 100% perfect. I hope they come around soon.

 

[Lozzii]

I dont think parents cope with these things well. When my parents found out I had been making myself sick (bulimia) they grounded me! I think it was very brave to tell them. Maybe find another way to tell them about the baby. A letter may be a good idea, just to allow you to get everything out.

A letter was how I told my dad, I'd never really been close enough to talk to him about important things like my depression and bulimia but obviously this was a time sensitive subject. I wrote a letter, and then went and hid at my best friends house until he found it and called me. Its easier to hang up when you're being yelled at than to walk out of a room!
But if you feel like you can't talk to your parents about stuff, 10/10 would recommend a letter!! Good luck, I hope you find a way to tell them soon, and well done for getting yourself on medication and counselling! Way to go!