Telling toddler about the baby

[NotNic]

Has anyone not told their toddler yet about the new baby? My son is just 2 and I wanted to put off telling him until I knew all was well at the 20wk scan, plus at his age I wasn't sure how he'd cope with the information 6mths in advance. I'm now almost 24wks and thinking about it. For those who have, how did you do it?

 

[Lau88]

Im 23 weeks and my lo will be 3 a couple of days before due date. I've not told her, shes very advanced and understands everything so i don't want months of asking where baby is and as im very high risk i don't want the worry of having to tell her should the worst happen. Im going to tell her a couple of days before.

 

[Yo_Yo]

My little girl is also two. It's really hard to explain to a child so young...I mean how do they even begin to understand there's another person inside you?!

She came with us to a couple of scans and I show her in my pregnancy magazine pregnant ladies and say "she's got a baby in her tummy" i tell her every day about the baby in mummies tummy.

I do think something's hitting home as she's suddenly baby obsessed and constantly playing and kissing her dolls.

I'm going to buy a book for toddlers becoming a big brother/sister soon too.
Stalking for other ideas myself!

 

[Darlingbump2]

My DS is just 2yrs. I know that he does understand some of his friends have brothers and sisters. Hopefully that might help when it comes around to it. Think I will wait until the 3rd T before I say anything. Then get him to help decorate the nursery and getting all the baby clothes and toys out. We have been given toddler books about birth and new baby's. Will be useful when telling him about what's happening.

 

[george83]

My lo turned 2 just after my 12 week scan. To begin with we didn't do anything about telling him and then as my bump grew we talked about the baby in my tummy but he didn't really get it. When I was about 8 months pregnant we brought the book 'there's s house inside my mummy' and tried reading that to him a few times but he still didn't seem to understand what having a baby meant for him. I tried to talk to him about babies crying lots and that the baby would need to sleep in our bedroom to begin with and he'd have to stay in his own bedroom and I think he got that.

 

[RaspberryK]

I wasn't going to tell ds til a lot further on but he guessed by himself and then had to come with us to our scan and was fascinated he could see the baby.
He has a baby and a pushchair which he already loves, and my best friend is due in 8 weeks so I think that will help.
Xx

 

[maddog37]

My son is 3 and I started talking about it in ernest after the anatomy scan just so I don't have to say "baby brother/sister" to confuse him even more. I know he needs more time to absorb things and to come to terms with it. For the last year, he wouldn't even let me come within 2 feet of my friends' babies so I think lots of prepping will help him cope. We don't talk about it constantly, but every day I'll mention something about baby in tummy and talk up being a big brother and how proud I am of him, how he's such a big boy, etc.

He will now happily tell me that baby is inside mommy's tummy. He knows his little brother will come out one day. (although every so often he'll say to me "uh oh, baby's gone!" and I freak out about what he means).

It's funny too when I told him he used to live in mommy's belly too, he gave me the most skeptical expression ever.

And it's sweet when he saw I was looking a bit down the day people kept saying I look sooo big for 4 months pregnant, and he hugged me and said, "mommy, your belly's not big."

 

[Sunseal]

My DS is 3, I told him after my 12 week scan, I had to as he kept asking me to pick him up and he likes to play a little rough (rolling on the floor and whatnot!) so I had no choice.. I couldn't keep saying "Mummy has a bad back!"
But, he took it really well, seemed to digest it no problem and then after my 20 week scan when I could say "The baby in Mummy's tummy is a girl!" he was super excited. I'm glad I told him that early as I share a lot with him and I feel like he's gone on the pregnancy journey with me... I'm lucky that he's so tuned in and intelligent, he knows exactly what's going on and he's always saying he can't wait to be a big brother.

What do you ladies think about letting your kids watch OBEM? I've been thinking about letting him watch it to see exactly what goes on.. but then I think... he doesn't really need to know exactly what goes on!

 

[immie]

I think my son sort of gets it, he is 2 years 3 months. I show him the scan pictures and point out the head and legs and I get him to stroke my bump and I say 'awww stroke the baby in mummy's tummy, he's your little brother' and he often cuddles my bump and says 'baby!' HOWEVER. ..he now thinks that he too, has a baby in his tummy and when we're out doing the shopping and he's sat in a trolley, he lifts his t shirt right up and starts stroking his tummy telling everyone there's a baby in there! Sort of embarassing when your 2yo son tells strangers he's up the duff!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

There's a Berenstein Bears book called "The Birds, the Bees, and the Berentstein Bears" and it's about the mother bear being pregnant and explaining it to the little girl. I've been reading it to my DD, and then telling her that I have a baby in my tummy, too.

I also show her the "Inside Pregnancy" videos on Babycenter.com, and she really likes to "see" what the baby looks like in my tummy. She's even watched small parts of OBEM with me, but I usually stop if the mother in labor is starting to scream or freak out, because I don't want to panic her.

 

[bookworm0901]

My son was 20 months when my daughter was born, and since he was SO young when I got pregnant (I found out just days before his first birthday), he didn't "get it" until later in the pregnancy and honestly I'm not sure he got it at all until she saw her....

BUT he LOVES her. she's almost 3 months old and he's still as obsessed with her as he was the first day. Constant hugs, kisses, he wants to know where she is at all times, it's actually more frustrating than you would think because he doesn't give her a break for naps, etc. He's always waking her up. But it's definitely sweeter than just constant jealousy or something so I try not to let it bother me.

 

[butterfly80]

My daughter is nearly 3, although we didn't tell her she overheard conversations and told her keyworker at nursery mummy had a baby in her tummy she is brilliant, we told her where baby is and how it will be ready to come out and meet her in winter. She has listened to the heartbeat on the Doppler and felt it move and I got a lovely book about becoming a big sister. She kisses my tummy and strokes it which is lovely xx