Terrified of 2nd labour anyone else feel the same?

[Thumbelina 3]

i had my daughter just over 3 years ago. I hated every second of labour and really panicked which I think made it worse. It wasn't the most awful labour but wasn't the best either and lasted for 4 days!they had to do a sweep, then induce, drip etc because I wasn't progressing very quickly, ended up with epidural and a lovely baby day 4 but had to stay in due to high temperature, very low iron but it wasn't that awful really. I just could not handle the pain of labour even at 1cm!!i know they say you forget labour once you have baby in your arms but I really haven't!it took me 2.5 years to pluck up the courage to do it again after saying I didn't want another one (sickness all the way through, same this time) but finally took the plunge. So here we are im just over 36 weeks and getting more and more stressed about the upcoming labour!i had a urine infection at 33 weeks and had awful pain ended up going to hospital as we thought was labour but it wasn't!and that felt bad enough and I freaked out!im not normally a whimp about things so don't know why I panic so much!anyone else the same?or any suggestions for keeping calm?

 

[Beanonorder]

I had a traumatic birth first time round so I am quite nervous this time. I really want to have another all natural birth but when I think about it too much I start to panic.
I've been looking into hypnobirthing. I haven't really done too much into it but I like their breathing techniques and practice that a lot.
I also keep reminding myself that I did it once so I am capable.

 

[Munchkin30]

I had a 3rd degree tear and forceps and nearly an emergency cesarean last time (nearly 3 and a half years ago) I was also really stressed during the first bit at home for various reasons. I've also lost 2 babies since then so I'm a nervous wreck!! I'm planning/hoping for a waterbirth with gas and air but if it gets too bad I'll go for the pethadine. Really not looking forward to it but praying my body knows what it's doing now!!

 

[Thumbelina 3]

Thanks for the replies. I just wish I could cope with the pain better!it all seems very close now

 

[Diana3]

This if my first time, so I'm scared too. In the U.S., nobody has heard of "gas and air" and it's definitely not done at my hospital. What exactly is that? Never heard of hypnobirth, either. I'm taking some prenatal yoga classes which are supposed to help with labor. I know it's important to try to relax as much as possible and surrender to the pain, not fight it because that makes it worse. I would like to give birth naturally and without an epidural, but I'm not above using the epidural if I think I need it.

 

[Ducktales]

yes I too am really scared, my first labour was induced at night, I was on my own as husbands have to leave by 8pm and can't come back till you are 5cm and moved from antenatal to delivery, I had 2 weeks, a 36 hour labour and eventually an episiotomy with emergency forceps delivery - I had an epidural as i couldnt take it anymore but had to wait hours for the anaesthetist who was busy - which is pretty common in UK hospitals. This time, I have been told to prepare for the fact that I may not get an epidural as it may not take hours, so I am planning a water birth and hoping that if I am not induced / left alone in labour again I might cope better but TBH I am happy to take all the drugs I need as I honestly dont want to go through what I went through last time!
I am trying to chill about the whole thing, it will likely be quicker and easier anyway and at least there isnt the fear of the unknown i suppose
it WILL be fine

 

[Thumbelina 3]

Oh dear duck tales that doesn't sound good. I find as I'm getting closer im stressing more and more about it. To the point of not being able to sleep! Wish I could stop being so silly

 

[Inoue]

Im not stressing now, but I think when the day actually comes, it will be very hard to stay strong and composed. My first birth is no way as traumatic as you ladies. My issues were that as I was in over night and they sent my husband home when I was 4cm dilated. I laboured on my own till 7am the next morning and then the midwife finally checked me and I was 8cm. I was totally alone and in the worst pain ive ever experienced . The night staff also refused pain relief like gas & air, just offered me paracetamol till the main midwife came on duty at 7am. By this point I was traumatised and still had pushing stage to go. Was a horrible experience, Im just so grateful the main midwife came in and checked on me then moved me to labour ward.

Its amazing how one minute your on top of it and in control, the next, you're a mere shadow of yourself and start to lose it.

Wish us all the best this time round xx

 

[dom85]

I'm actually slightly more relaxed this time because I know that I have the chance of going into Labour naturally rather than being induced early.

I was induced at 38 weeks because of GD which I don't have this time and I really think all the problems I had last time were because my body just wasn't ready to have the baby. I feel a bit better knowing what the early part feels like now as well and although my early labour was long and drawn out I feel like I could probably cope better with it this time knowing what it feels like.
I'm more stressing about leaving DS1 while I'm in hospital because I don't know how long I'm going to be gone or who's going to look after him.

 

[Thumbelina 3]

That's also worrying me too. Leaving my daughter as we've never left her over night yet and also we recently moved to nearer my husbands parents so I will have to rely on them to help with my little one rather than my family if we have to go to the hospital in the night and not sure how long we will be gone for.

 

[dom85]

That's also worrying me too. Leaving my daughter as we've never left her over night yet and also we recently moved to nearer my husbands parents so I will have to rely on them to help with my little one rather than my family if we have to go to the hospital in the night and not sure how long we will be gone for.

Yeah, my little boy is 5 but he's only really stayed with my best friend overnight and my mum, my mum is now on a 14 week case on jury service and my best friend is going away on the 27th of April so if I go overdue it could go over that date possibly, I'm going to speak to my midwife and see if they will agree to only let me go over by 7 days instead of 12.

Other than that I'm just going to try and not think about it too much while I'm in labour but I will definitely be pushing to go home as quickly as possible afterwards.

 

[kajastarlight]

My advise - - leave your daughter with her grandparents for a night at least once before you actually go into labor, that way you will know how she reacts and you won't worry about that. If their are problems, you will be able to troubleshoot those.

My experience - with DS1 I had a 4 day labor (NOT fun!) and a horrid experience (hidden as to not scare anyone - it turned out FINE)

Spoiler

the cord was wrapped around his neck so tight that he couldn't come out past his forhead. They had to push him back in to get enough slack to get something in there to cut the cord from around his neck. The babies are NOT meant to go back!! I tore sooooo bad! 48 stitches, some went all the way to the back....

had me pretty scared for DS2 - DS2's labor really wasn't bad at all! My BP was high and he was just a little in distress but really all was well. I had an eppidurral both times and will again with this one. I AM nervous, but trying not to worry so much. I was TERRIFIED I would tear bad with DS2 and I didn't at all.

Spoiler

of course they didn't have to push him back in!! They really aren't made to go back in! lol

 

[glitterfly]

Yeah... Petrified. Just keep trying to tell myself that it doesn't last forever and will be totally worth it in the end!!! It's good to see I'm not alone though. Thank you for posting this.

Xxx

 

[nflores77]

I'm nervous but if things go as well as my 2nd delivery, I will be just fine. Detailed my 1st two experiences below.

With my 1st - I went overdue, had oxygen, no epidural, no episiotomy and DS was stuck for 10mins while I was trying to push him out for 45mins. I thought that was the worst. I had a really bad tear and he was close to 9lbs. OB decided to sew me up and not wait for the placenta, well when I delivered the placenta the stiches broke and he had to do it all over. I ended up going to his Dr office since a stitching was not good a week later and was in pain for the next 6 months without being able to be intimate through out that time and scared of him touching me.

With my 2nd - I had changed OB since the previous OB didn't do things so well at the end of my delivery. The OB looked at how much weight I had gained plus the size of my 1st born and decided that I probably had GD that went undetected with my 1st. So we he had me do tests and surely I had GD with my 2nd pregnancy. The OB was doing growth scans and decided at 38 weeks he was ready to induce so I wouldn't have a big baby as my 1st was big. During the labor I was pretty much relaxed and not as nervous as when I went in the 1st time. The delivery went so smooth. I didn't get an Epidural but did tell the OB if he needed to do an episiotomy to please go ahead so I wouldn't have to tear. I felt when I reached 10cm since the baby slid right into place. I asked them to check me again since she had just checked me and I told her I think I'm ready baby is there. She checked saw baby, and said yep your at a 10. They called my OB he showed up within 15mins... in which I was fighting the urge to push. Once he arrived I pushed 3x and she was born. Such a beautiful and easier birth than with my 1st. I sure hope that my 3rd goes the same... since I will be induced at 38 weeks with the same OB.