Thanksgiving...to go or not to go, that is the question!

[Lizzy444]

I've wondered how the holidays this year were going to be for me. My sister has a 2 month old baby and my family has not been supportive of our LTTC journey.

Today, the lack of support went to a new level when I was hurt by something my father said, I nicely asked him about it, and he jumped down my throat. He told me that for the sake of my husband and my future, I need to get counseling. He demanded that I "honor" him by calling him today.

Let me assure you, my marriage is wonderful (my husband agrees), and my life apart from this nightmare (including my family) is great.

I wish people were more sensitive to what those of us LTTC are going through! Stress, financial craziness, we put our bodies through insanity, etc. It's not easy...then to add unnecessary attacks to all of that? No thanks

So now, my husband and I are left to decide where to spend Thanksgiving. I hate to miss the gathering my extended family has every year, but I just don't know how I'll do if I go. I'd have to see my dad (who my husband plans to call tonight, b/c my dad won't listen to me)....and a newborn....and possibly hear news of cousins being pregnant. I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can more easily focus on those things if I'm not in the middle of certain situations

Anyway...if you made it to the end of this, bravo and thank you. I needed to get some of this out, DH is at work (and I already disrupted his day earlier with my crying), and I don't have anyone else to go to who really understands.

 

[Brittles]

what about his side of the family? I don't know about anyone else, but I wouldn't go. I couldn't willingly subject myself to such hurt and pain. If they are not supportive of you and your feelings about TTC, why care about their feelings when it comes to a family gathering? But thats just me. Go with what your heart tells you.

 

[Armywife84]

That's why I just said the hell with the rest of the family this year, we're doing our own Thanksgiving. Is that possible? I mean you can still run out and get your feast now, or even go to a restaurant that's doing a Thanksgiving dinner so it's stress-free..Then go to the movies or just go home and drink a little wine.

If you're put off by the lack of support (I don't blame you) and the risk of newborns, pregnancies then spend Thanksgiving with his family or just do your own. Or even if you went to your extended family's dinner just stay for as long as your comfortable. If it's only 5 minutes, then that's all you can handle.

You don't need to be placing extra stress on yourself around the holidays...we need a chance to try to enjoy the holidays too. If that's avoiding certain situations, then at times you need to put your feelings first and do what's best for you.

 

[wonderstars]

I agree with Armywife. You're entitled to enjoying your holidays. Holidays are rough enough as it is, sometimes and when you're LTTC, it just seems so much rougher. Maybe enjoy your own Thanksgiving with his family, as suggested, or even just your friends?

Hope it all works out. Make it so it works out for you, everyone else can do with it what they want.

 

[terces]

Sorry to hear that you don't have a supportive family. People don't understand. I think it does sound like you need to turn off the phones for the day and spend it with your husband. Hope you do have a good Thanksgiving!

 

[Lizzy444]

Thank you all so much for your support! I wish that my husband's family was an option, but they're a 12 hour car drive away and that won't work well for us. So, my family is the only option

Yes, it's very possible for us to celebrate with just the two of us, and that may be what we do. Of course my family is going to be ticked if that's what we decide, but if they took the time to think about it, perhaps they'd understand. Then again, I don't know that they can put themselves in our position, so.....

Thanks again for all of your advice! And Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! I hope your celebrations are full of support and no insensitive situations

 

[Armywife84]

Thank you all so much for your support! I wish that my husband's family was an option, but they're a 12 hour car drive away and that won't work well for us. So, my family is the only option

Yes, it's very possible for us to celebrate with just the two of us, and that may be what we do. Of course my family is going to be ticked if that's what we decide, but if they took the time to think about it, perhaps they'd understand. Then again, I don't know that they can put themselves in our position, so.....

Thanks again for all of your advice! And Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! I hope your celebrations are full of support and no insensitive situations

Meh, if they get bent out of shape, then that's too bad. You don't have to spend every holiday with them.