thats really annoying....

[hopefull85]

ok so i got really annoyed when i was at the grocery store earlier. the girl and i mean girl was with her parents checking out. well the girl was 14, how do i know that because the cashier was talking about her when she was checking us out. anyways thats why i am a bitter person. 14 yr olds acting like they are grown and having sex oh and getting pregnant. her mother paid with food stamps, yeah they were on welfare. and that is why it annoys me when girls like that are pregnant and are around me. i just want to walk up to the parents of these kids and be like " are you serious"

 

[hopingforit]

I understand how you could feel upset by that. However, just because she is on Food Stamps, doesn't mean she is on Welfare. I grew up on Food Stamps because my father is disabled. My sister is currently on Food Stamps but she works. Sorry if I sound rude, but although I never want to be on them again in my life, I think it's a bit wrong to assume she is on Welfare just because she uses Food Stamps. She could be a single mother working full time for minimum wage and uses that to feed her family. But I digress from the topic. I would be so upset if I saw some 14 year old who was pregnant and I can't get pregnant (although I'm young too). At that age, you don't think about the consequences. You don't realize what it's really going to be like. The sad thing is, the mother will probably end up raising the child. I know several stories of people who had babies at a young age and the grandmother is raising it. It's so sad. I think I feel more sorry for the 14 year old than angry though. Her teenage life is pretty much over. She will have to grow up fast. People should learn to make the right decisions because this will affect her for the next 18 years.

 

[hopefull85]

i dont feel sorry for any kid who thinks they are grown enough to be having sex at 14 i was out building forts with my little brothers at that age. if you have food stamps that means you are on welfare. you can work 2 jobs and still be on welfare. i call it like i see it. there are people who abuse having food stamps ive known a few. im not saying that everyone who has food stamps are lazy or trash. but when you are 14 and pregnant in a grocery store with your parents who seem to be a little high on something then yeah i would call you trashy. thats bad parenting.

 

[hopingforit]

i dont feel sorry for any kid who thinks they are grown enough to be having sex at 14 i was out building forts with my little brothers at that age. if you have food stamps that means you are on welfare. you can work 2 jobs and still be on welfare. i call it like i see it. there are people who abuse having food stamps ive known a few. im not saying that everyone who has food stamps are lazy or trash. but when you are 14 and pregnant in a grocery store with your parents who seem to be a little high on something then yeah i would call you trashy. thats bad parenting.

No need to get defensive about it. I didn't say that the situation is right. All I said was that being on Food Stamps doesn't mean you are on Welfare. I guess you could consider Food Stamps to be a form of welfare but when people say welfare, they are usually talking about the cash that people get, not the food stamps which can only be spent on food items. I've also known quite a few people who abuse the system...both getting Welfare and Food Stamps. IE - There is a woman who I know that got on Welfare just because she was a drug addict...it is completely not right. Also, you didn't mention in the original post that the woman looked like she was on drugs. That is a different situation. There are so many people on drugs who abuse the system. The only reason I felt the need to explain it to you was because growing up, I would get dirty looks of people who thought that we were bad for being on Food Stamps. It wasn't my fault...but I still got the looks. The way you said it in the original post made it sound as if welfare and food stamps are a bad thing. I wasn't attacking you by saying that. I was just explaining my thoughts about it.

And I understand why you wouldn't feel sorry for her. The reason I feel sorry is because when you are 14, you aren't grown up enough to think logically or rationally. You are living for the moment. When she grows up she will realize that she made a mistake. I suppose I can feel sorry for her because when I was 15, I got pregnant while on birth control but it ended in mc. At least I was trying to prevent pregnancy, but I can relate to the situation about being so young and finding out you are pregnant. Looking back now, I think that I was so stupid to even be having sex even though I was on BCP but my mind back then didn't work that way.

Anyway, I hope you realize that I'm not trying to argue with you. You posted something so I responded with my thoughts. People don't always agree with their views on here. I was merely giving my opinion just as you were giving yours. I understand how frustrating it can be. I know you've been TTC for quite a bit longer than me (5 years for you - 21 months for me) but we all share the common feeling of being upset at situations that relate to our infertility.

 

[Armywife84]

I agree that food stamps is a form of a government handout.

I can understand the need to be on benefits if they're left a single mother and have no other options. But the ones who abuse the system, make me angry too. They pop out "tax babies". When tax season rolls around they can make a lot more than the average tax check.

Pregnant teens anger me as well. I also feel sorry for the "grandmother" who is the appointed mother and the unborn child. Some of those teens are seriously uneducated about sex and others think they're invincible.

 

[readyformore]

According the the freedictionary.com Welfare is: "a. Financial or other aid provided, especially by the government, to people in need." So, yes. Food stamps are a form of Welfare.

I went to Walmart last year to get some supplies. It was a Tuesday at about noon, and I think I ran into about 3 pregnant teenagers. I actually sent my husband a text, "I think it's pregnant teenager's day here at walmart!" I'm not saying that teenagers can't be good parents.....but man. It makes you worry about how they will provide for their babies when they start off so young.

 

[hopingforit]

According the the freedictionary.com Welfare is: "a. Financial or other aid provided, especially by the government, to people in need." So, yes. Food stamps are a form of Welfare.

You're right about the definition. There are so many different forms of "welfare" - housing assistance, WIC, food stamps, cash assistance. Welfare is such a broad term when used to mean any type of government assistance. If you go by the definition, some sort of student loan from the government could be considered welfare. But, the word welfare has such a negative feeling to it because of the stigma attached to people who are on it.

Thanks for looking up the actual definition and clearing that up.

 

[tamithomas]

I have a very similar story that I can relate to. Although the woman was not a teen, I wanted to shake her so bad and wanted to cry. I was at the gas station right across from my apartment at the time. Waiting in line to a pay for a few chocolate bars as AF had showed up again, not only was the women from what I saw 7-8 months pregnant, but severely high!!! The eyes of a raccoon, underweight ect. It was so disturbing to see. I couldn't help thinking to myself "if you were mine, I'd treat you soo much better. I'm soo sorry little one"

 

[BeachBum850]

My main problem with the food stamp issue is when people buy JUNK!!!! Little Debbie is not a necessity!!! If you buy JUNK, like cola or sports drinks or chips ahoy with your food stamps that my husband and half America work their asses to pay for then yeah that makes you trash and makes me mad!!! Just my opinion.... Food stamps to buy JUNK= Welfare trash with your hand out going "gimme gimme"!!! And again with the WIC thing, IF YOU CANT SUPPORT A CHILD WITHOUT WIC DO NOOOOOOOT T-R-Y TO GET PREGNANT!!!! My uncle and his wife as these type of people I'm describing, they have 2 kids, live with my aunt,cant pay their car, have a one week old newborn and my uncle already wants a 3rd!!!! Get a house, get a good job, get off WIC, get off medicaid, stop cheating on your wife, THEN HAVE AS MANY AS YOU CAN AFFORD!!!!

Lol, sorry for my rant, making welfare a career hits a certain button(o;
Just clarify I'm all for welfare if you need it, don't take it wrong. Everyone struggles but don't take advantage of the system.

 

[NavyWife84]

I have seen both sides of the welfare/food stamps/government aid (whatever you want to call it).

I was a cashier for 8 years through highschool, college, and part time during my teaching career (yes, teachers get paid so little they need a second job but I'm not on welfare...lol...I guess that really isn't a laughing matter...sorry if I seem insensitive). Anyway, I saw so many people on food stamps and WIC come through my line drunk and high, using the food stamps for their "munchies". It made me sick. Here I am, graduated from college with a career and my oh fighting for our country in Iraq, but still working a second job just to support myself (I did not qualify to rent an apartment because I didn't make enough!) but I refused to even try to get government aide. As long as I was still living and paying my bills, I would rather not rely on someone else to pay my bills. I would feel so guilty going out for drinks with my friends knowing that tax payers are buying my food.

I went to school with a girl on food stamps and she said she could have filet minoin (spelling?) every night if she wanted to. Why does the government give people so much money? I can't afford that every night and both dh and I have careers!

Now, this doesn't apply to those who really NEED the help (disabled, down on thier luck out of their control, etc.) There was a man who used to come in the store and buy all store brand items and spend as little as possible. He always bought the necessities. His wife left him with his 3 kids and he was laid off from work. The poor man worked lots of odd jobs to try to support himself and his kids. He always looked so worn down, tired, and like the world was on his shoulders. I had so much respect for him!

Now on the teen pregnancy front...so controversial. I will say that I had a high school sweetheart that I dated for 2 1/2 years. We were sexually active by the time we were 16 and had waited almost a year after we had started dating (sadly, this seems rare these days). We discussed the possibility of getting pregnant (even though I was on bc) and what we would do about it AS SOON AS we started having sex. We were both very mature for our ages at the time. I do not regret losing my virginity at 16 because I truely did love my bf (in fact, we were engaged for a while). We knew the huge risk we were taking and we had discussed it. We also agreed that our parents WOULD NOT raise our baby (even if it meant we went into severe debt and owed them lots of money in the end). We both worked (I had 3 jobs) and would do as much as we could on our own. Unfortunately, I know this is not the case for most teens. However, I really try not to judge teen moms because I know what I was thinking at that age and have no regrets about it. (I was also friends who was raped at 16 and got pregnant and decided to keep the baby....don't even get me into that story.) It was hard, but she was, and still is, a wonderful mother.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are always two sides of the coin. There are people who work their a$$es off and deserve the help and those people who completely abuse the system. As much as I want to look at people with disgust, I try to remind myself that I have not walked a minute in their shoes and don't know what they are going through. Just like most people have not walked in our infertile shoes and don't know what we are going through. (Don't we get upset when fertile people judge us for being jealous?)