The actual cheek!

[lemontree12]

The actual cheek of my scumbag fob!! As if hr couldn't stoop any lower than anything he's done, he rings today to ask how much money do I want every month, when I told him, he informs me that he can't afford that as he's moving in with his gf next month!! What was he expecting me to say "yes thats fine, don't pay for the child we made in our four year relationship so u can move in with ur weirdo gf u dumped us for" I said that I'd like my daughter to have nice things considering you ain't going to see her, his reply do you really want me to see a girl I don't want!! That hurt the most hearing him talking about something so innocent and precious!! Will men like him ever pay or do they live a rosy prefect life!! And how do I escape from such a scumbag?? I hate I'm connected or associated with such a loser!!

 

[SilasLove]

It is his loss, and I know it hurts.

Keep her away from him. I once asked my father why he was never there, and he told me it was because my mom always tried to get him back. It hurt so bad to hear that my father was not in my life because of something so little. Something that he could have dealt with until my mother moved on. I cannot imagine your little girl ever having to hear anything like what he has said to you.

The courts will make him pay, whether its today or tomorrow. But as her mother you have to protect her from the scum that is her father. I am so sorry you have to hear such things, just try to protect her from it. xx

 

[resursval]

The actual cheek of my scumbag fob!! As if hr couldn't stoop any lower than anything he's done, he rings today to ask how much money do I want every month, when I told him, he informs me that he can't afford that as he's moving in with his gf next month!! What was he expecting me to say "yes thats fine, don't pay for the child we made in our four year relationship so u can move in with ur weirdo gf u dumped us for" I said that I'd like my daughter to have nice things considering you ain't going to see her, his reply do you really want me to see a girl I don't want!! That hurt the most hearing him talking about something so innocent and precious!! Will men like him ever pay or do they live a rosy prefect life!! And how do I escape from such a scumbag?? I hate I'm connected or associated with such a loser!!

Wish there was a sign on all these asshole mens foreheads. Obviously there wouldnt be so many men assholes in this world if women stopped accepting their excuses from day 1. We need to stand up and stop tolerating bad behaviour from men. This man takes the prize, to deny his own flesh and blood food and clothes for some sex. Sees his priorities lays

 

[Ceejay123]

That's awful she deserves better. I grew up without my Dad.. It's just not nice to feel uncared about x

 

[lemontree12]

I never thought of that, denying his child of food and clothes, not to mention love from a father and a set of grandparents!! He is so disgusting! I question the fact I stayed with such an animal for 4yrs, I guess u don't expect to be treated like this from someone who once claimed to love u!!

One day he will coming crashing down to earth, and I will kick him where it hurts, with a smile

 

[resursval]

I never thought of that, denying his child of food and clothes, not to mention love from a father and a set of grandparents!! He is so disgusting! I question the fact I stayed with such an animal for 4yrs, I guess u don't expect to be treated like this from someone who once claimed to love u!!

One day he will coming crashing down to earth, and I will kick him where it hurts, with a smile

I wonder how they change like that. Is it us not noticing the signs when in love/loving the person? Or is it just they disguise it?
I think though my FOB was always an asshole part from the first time we had then when I showed I wasn't an obiendient, gullible person then he showed his true self eg. pretty much when I refused killing my baby.

 

[Lemonflower]

Oh sweetie!! I know 100% how you are feeling.

Fob originally said an amount by text he'd pay - I asked for more and when he visited LO at 1 week old didn't bring any money.
He then made no contact. I contacted the CSA and he denied paternity!
That hurt so much....

Like I said in another thread FOB's crazy ex pretended to be a nurse and I let her in my home, I contacted the police and they admitted doing it.
I called him and had a massive go at him. She must of been listening cos he was saying, "he isn't mine", "you slagged around" but the worst one was..... "I'm not paying for your mistake"......
I was heartbroken and screamed. "but you wanted him.... We planned him.... I gave him the names we'd chosen years ago" he then said "my main concern is my gf and our future"
I was crying and kept repeating, "but how can you not want him..."
I then got abusive..... Lol!

I dropped CSA..... Some people agree with my decision some don't.
I feel that if fob is that evil and nasty that he can deny he is my son's father, get his gf to do that to us and not want to pay for his upbringing (fob knows I would have put the money into LOs saving account) then I don't want him being in my LO's life. The door is closed now.
I don't want my son influenced by people like that.....
I don't know (once DNA was proven) if he would of seen LO but like I said now that he's shown his true colours I don't want him part of LO's life.
I think when he received the CSA letter cancelling my claim it was a silent agreement between us that I leave him alone and he leaves me alone.
People apparently ask him about LO and instead of slagging me down he just says "I don't wanna talk about it".

So sorry I have over took your thread.... These "men" make me soo sad and angry. I bet you look at your little girl and think, "how can he not want you?"

Take him to the CSA and they'll make him pay what he should or do what I did and just try and forget him.

Write down all the things he says and does and if LO wants to know the truth as an adult you have it.
(my dad walked out when I was 7 and I blamed my mum for years
- I'm so scared LO will blame me for not having a "dad".)

Massive hugs hunni keep being a good mum and try not to think about them! (it's hard though isn't it)
Pm if you want.

xxxxxxx

 

[lemontree12]

Thank u lemonflower, I know our situations are very similar so I really appreciate ur input I also got that "it's your mistake, and u choose to keep it" where I see it, that he's tank the easy route out at least he can pay for her!
I too lost it when he said "do u really want mento see a girl I don't want" it sounded like she was nothing, not even a person! It really killed me!
I hate the bloke and truly want nothing more to do with him, if rather he set the money up and we didn't speak at all! He also doesn't slag me off he says I dont want to talk about it! He blocked me of fb, I guess it's incase people he knows comments of my photos because I never once Contacted him on fb since our split, infect prob before!!

My little girl is so precious and I will do everything to protect her from these evil people! I just wish the asshole would leave me alone!
X

 

[Dezireey]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I think the best thing for you and your LO is to get rid of this man out of your lives forever, for both your sakes. Protect your little girl and never tell her of the words he said.No-one wants to ever hear things like that about their father and its best kept a secret. I once went through a phase of thinking, that in the future, I would be tempted to tell my LO that his father was dead (may as well be really) but it's not the truth. I will tell him only what he needs to know and then omit the rest and try to make it look better than it is (Your Father was a sick man and had brain injury problems - half truth)

I think this FOB of yours has jumped into this new relationship and is going to get his ass burned! Karma will get him and his girlfriend will probably dump him and he will have no-one and you will be a happy chappy with someone new

It really is for the best in the long run that you and your child do not have such a nasty person in your life. I think things happen for a reason. Maybe you can look at it from a different perspective. He is obviously underneath a selfish and unkind individual and it surfaced quickly when you got pregnant. If he had stayed, it could have been 10, 15 or even 20+ yrs of your life spent in utter misery with a man that would have a) been horrible to both you and your LO b) probably would have cheated on you judging by his actions and c) stopped you from ultimately meeting a nicer man, therefore making the rest of your life happier than it is now.

so..........best he is gone and she can now have the selfish and unkind man that he really is for the rest of her life. Oh and he will dish out the same kind of nastiness to her in some form, of that you can be sure

Oh and never concern yourself with how FOB can live with himself after doing this.Men like him (including my FOB) have to justify their actions to themselves every day in order to live their lives. They know what they have done, they know it is seriously wrong, so they blame others instead of themselves (e.g she trapped me, it's not my kid blah, blah) in order to keep their sanity. It's people like them who never understand why others are unkind to them. It's because they don't deserve any kindness, period.

 

[lemontree12]

Thank you for your wise words
Things took s new turn when lo arrived, she's so precious and the love I felt for her I couldn't imagine before! This again helped me get over gob, I look at her and feel pure protection over her and want to sheild her from any harm ie keep fob as far away as possible, he claimed to love me even the day of my scan he begged me not to have her so we could live happily ever after, which I later find out he was already with his bit! To think the evil man was trying to trick me into an abortion!! When iv spoke to him he referred to her as "it" and has only just began to refer to her as a girl, has yet to use her name! And the fact he didn't give a shit that his own flesh and blood was homeless, all caused by him, throwing me out!! I would never want something so precious to feel
betrayal, hurt, alone and rejected like he done to me!! So the best way is to cut him out of our life! Ideally I wouldn't want his money, but I want him to be reminded of want he's done forever and the only way this man will, would be via his wage slip! One day I know he will wake up and want contact, but never will I let him not because I want to get him back I'd never use my daughter as a weapon but because I want her to grow up in a stable environment filled with love, and I can't ever predict if fob will cause her heartache for some party piece!!

This website has really helped me, although it's horrible to think that there's more than one of these fob about, it is nice to talk to people who are going threw the same as me, I don't feel so alone and question y me! So thank u ladies for ur support when I'm not 100% me xxx

 

[Dezireey]

yes, it's sort of strange to feel better that others are going through the same but it helps keep your sanity about things doesn't it? I know that if I have a bad day I check this forum out and see lots of women like me also having bad days and I know that it's normal and mostly everyone finds it difficult at times being a single mum but we get through it and it can only make us stronger. I'm stronger already and he is only a few weeks old. I'll be a real force to be reckoned with by the time he starts school lol!

from reading about your FOB I think you should be careful about him in the future. It all sounds like he met someone when you got pregnant and has been swept up in all that 'honeymoon period' stuff in a relationship. When the cracks start showing in that partnership and reality hits, that asshat may try coming back into your life.

 

[lemontree12]

I totally agree and I believe he has no shame in attempting! I'm def going to watch him, he will not be getting in my life Or my daughters xx

 

[Dezireey]

If there is one lesson I have learnt from FOB it's that nasty words do hurt and I won't forget so never again will a man be able to say or do cruel things to me and be let back into my life. He sent me an e-mail yesterday saying how he'll never get into a relationship again because HE can't handle the pain, hurt and unhappiness they bring!! tosser. then on facebook he misreads the title of a post and says ( note to self, get a woman)!!

Men! they can be such low scum it's unreal. I hope yours gets what he deserves in the end too. Let's hope you get to tell him where to stick it one day when he crawls back.

 

[lemontree12]

That's is something iv said before! If I was ever to be unlucky to be treated like this again, it will never hurt like the first time!

Me too! Some sort of karma must come his way! Or life would be very unfair! X