The Cynical Thread

[Rashaa]

I just need to release and thought this would be a really good place for all of us to just spew if we need to .

I'm gonna start, I had a shite day, STILL bleeding! My husband is so unhelpful with my sadness - he's like, don't worry, we can try again and all that bs, and honestly after two m/c's, I have no idea if I want to try again. I am having my fibroid surgery in a few weeks, and at the very least, my periods will be lighter. I keep replaying everything back in my head, and what if I have other infertility issues that were never addressed!?? Oh and I LOVE my doctor's office approach to a failing pregnancy...before so many weeks, with the lower hcg and failing progesterone, THEY LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE! Is it me, or is that just bloody insane? No intervention, no scans, nothing....

and can someone please explain to me what the ef a chemical pregnancy is?? You are either pregnant or you are not....chemicals have NOTHING to do with it! I dunno...just really miffed and frustrated.

 

[Jodes2011]

oh hun i am so so sorry for your loss you know my past record and my GP has only just referred me for tests. I am really gutted for you Hang in there x

 

[Rashaa]

Oh Jodes, thank yoy for your words. I know what you are saying and at times I feel that there are many women here who have suffered worse than me, how can I even complain. To make matters worse we agreed to be mum, but dh told ALL of his friends we were having a baby. None of them know I lost it and now they are asking how is the baby and how am I. I cant take it really.

 

[dachsundmom]

 

[Jodes2011]

Oh Jodes, thank yoy for your words. I know what you are saying and at times I feel that there are many women here who have suffered worse than me, how can I even complain. To make matters worse we agreed to be mum, but dh told ALL of his friends we were having a baby. None of them know I lost it and now they are asking how is the baby and how am I. I cant take it really.

oh i didnt mean it to sound like that hun you complain and rant all you want my lovely whether you've suffered 1 or 10 MC's it's still very very difficult and upsetting i was just referring to the doctors and how slack they are at times.

And even bigger with having to deal with telling everyone your news

 

[Sus09]

Rashaa so sorry to hear the news
It is frustrating when all of us want it so much and it seems so difficult. You would think having children it was meant to be for all women!

It is horrible when people ask! It is hurtful.
Last Friday my OH went out with his friends. I decided not to go cos two women are prengnat and they were taking photos of theirs scans. It was the right decision as apparently the women told my OH that he was next to become a dad and that I should stop being selfish focusing on my career and settle down to have a family
Do people ever think that this is a delicate subject and people might have problems?

 

[sarahincanada]

so sorry you are going through this. I agree, my husband although a wonderful man, just doesnt get it. the cycle before last I was late/longer LP for first time ever and I thought we might have done it. I got the call saying beta was negative and was crying, and he asked me why I am crying but he didnt mean it like it sounded, its just men tend to try and find a way to fix things rather than just being supportive.

I have never had a MC but my best friend did, so completely understand you feelings

as for the chemical pregnancy its my understanding that it is 'just chemicals' that give the positive pregnancy test but the embryo was never a viable embryo. regardless of whats its called its a terrible thing to go through, take care

 

[Rashaa]

Jodes, I completely agree with you and thank you... I know you didn't mean anything, but I go geniunely feel guilty when I see many have suffered more than me.. but you hit it dead on, if it's 1 or 20, it's all still not good .

Dmom - thanks so much

Sus09 and sarah - ack men are just men lol... They do mean well... I know he was excited, but we had agreed and I just don't get why he would go past that and I did tell him there is no security until week 20 - but I don't think he got it. I told him that since he told all of his friends the 'good news', he can tell them the 'bad news' - as I don't want to keep getting reminded of what I lost. And he got what I meant. If there is a next time, maybe he will be more cautious and take heed.

Thanks for listening, it means a lot to be able to just ramble.

 

[Sus09]

I feel your pain Rashaa, I have gone through it twice as well.
And as you say, men are just men! they mean well but they have no clue!

 

[lisap2008]

I have been through 2 early M/C and with the first one I was really hurt and crying on and off for about a month , it was really difficult because I was so happy I told everyone we were pregnant and then a week later had to tell everyone I lost it .with the last M/C I knew it might not stick and dident get as excited it was painful the day I realized I was losing it but I was able to get over it quicker. my DH acted kind of clueless , I think alot of times men just dont know what to say or do to comfort us when were in so much pain.

I am so sorry about your M/C I know how much they hurt , I would get a better OB/GYN for your next pregnancy one that will be more proactive and give you some progesterone to help the pregnancy along.

 

[Jodes2011]

Rashaa so sorry to hear the news
It is frustrating when all of us want it so much and it seems so difficult. You would think having children it was meant to be for all women!

It is horrible when people ask! It is hurtful.
Last Friday my OH went out with his friends. I decided not to go cos two women are prengnat and they were taking photos of theirs scans. It was the right decision as apparently the women told my OH that he was next to become a dad and that I should stop being selfish focusing on my career and settle down to have a family
Do people ever think that this is a delicate subject and people might have problems?

Ahhhh man thats just mean those women need to keep their gobs shut and just concentrate on their business rather yours, this makes me so mad. I hate it when people just assume!! x

 

[LLbean]

I feel you Rasha... I was ADAMANT about not telling anyone and now I am SOO HAPPY I was like that. I honestly am okay with friends having babies...matter of fact one is in the hospital being induced as we speak and I may go see her tomorrow...but yes, the sorry looks and questionings...not cool. I'd smack your hubby and not talk to him for a LONG time

 

[hockey24]

Rasha - I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Indigo77]

ladies...

 

[Sus09]

Rashaa so sorry to hear the news
It is frustrating when all of us want it so much and it seems so difficult. You would think having children it was meant to be for all women!

It is horrible when people ask! It is hurtful.
Last Friday my OH went out with his friends. I decided not to go cos two women are prengnat and they were taking photos of theirs scans. It was the right decision as apparently the women told my OH that he was next to become a dad and that I should stop being selfish focusing on my career and settle down to have a family
Do people ever think that this is a delicate subject and people might have problems?

Ahhhh man thats just mean those women need to keep their gobs shut and just concentrate on their business rather yours, this makes me so mad. I hate it when people just assume!! x

Yes I find it rude when people just assume! My friends are great with all this but my OH friends are very mean!

Rashaa how are you feeling now hun? And you Jodie? Big hug to you all ladies!

 

[Jodes2011]

Rashaa so sorry to hear the news
It is frustrating when all of us want it so much and it seems so difficult. You would think having children it was meant to be for all women!

It is horrible when people ask! It is hurtful.
Last Friday my OH went out with his friends. I decided not to go cos two women are prengnat and they were taking photos of theirs scans. It was the right decision as apparently the women told my OH that he was next to become a dad and that I should stop being selfish focusing on my career and settle down to have a family
Do people ever think that this is a delicate subject and people might have problems?

Ahhhh man thats just mean those women need to keep their gobs shut and just concentrate on their business rather yours, this makes me so mad. I hate it when people just assume!! x

Yes I find it rude when people just assume! My friends are great with all this but my OH friends are very mean!

Rashaa how are you feeling now hun? And you Jodie? Big hug to you all ladies!

well i'm feeling good just had my LH surge so should be ovulating anytime now how are you doing? x

 

[Sus09]

I am fine hun! Too much work in the week so feeling a bit tired. Waitinf for AF now to start the new cycle xxx

 

[Rashaa]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and support. It's been a long week, but it's getting better.....

the story is NEVER complete lol...a few days before I started to spot, some of you might recall I broke out in this incredibly itchy rash on my arms, legs...and I thought, oh my body is reacting to my shower soap or shampoo, changed them, with no effect....things happened...and I didn't think twice about it...

was talking to a doctor yesterday and out of nowhere we talked about my positive ana test back in feb [I had drug induced hepatitis from taking a blood pressure medication that is supposed to be safe when you are expecting or trying to conceive, it's called methyl dopa...and my liver enzymes were everywhere, i don't have lupus, but the test was 1;320 speckled...which is not negative ...and there was some antibody response going on...]... ANY way, the doctor knows of my preclampsia in the past and said to me...have you ever been tested for 'sticky blood' - I clot with all my periods, clotted after the births, but never have had major blood clots...and I said no.. he said ..you might have antiphospholipid syndrome... or some sort of autoimmune response which rejects the baby...i was like what!?? anyway, I will be tested for it, with the fibroid going in two weeks, and possibly this, maybe once i am cleared, we will have a chance!

OH and get this...I stopped bleeding this weekend, and today I am getting the normal side pain I get when I ovulate, I have EWCM and my temp went up! My poor body is confused....I continue to BBT to know where things are at, we are protecting like crazy with any as I want to get rid of the fibroid first.. but when they say you are fertile after an m/c they weren't kidding!

LL : I contemplated that at first, I really did , but I have opted to go the damsel in distress route, and suck up his attention big time lol....HE was excited, but he learned for the future...

thanks for listening guys...

 

[LLbean]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and support. It's been a long week, but it's getting better.....

the story is NEVER complete lol...a few days before I started to spot, some of you might recall I broke out in this incredibly itchy rash on my arms, legs...and I thought, oh my body is reacting to my shower soap or shampoo, changed them, with no effect....things happened...and I didn't think twice about it...

was talking to a doctor yesterday and out of nowhere we talked about my positive ana test back in feb [I had drug induced hepatitis from taking a blood pressure medication that is supposed to be safe when you are expecting or trying to conceive, it's called methyl dopa...and my liver enzymes were everywhere, i don't have lupus, but the test was 1;320 speckled...which is not negative ...and there was some antibody response going on...]... ANY way, the doctor knows of my preclampsia in the past and said to me...have you ever been tested for 'sticky blood' - I clot with all my periods, clotted after the births, but never have had major blood clots...and I said no.. he said ..you might have antiphospholipid syndrome... or some sort of autoimmune response which rejects the baby...i was like what!?? anyway, I will be tested for it, with the fibroid going in two weeks, and possibly this, maybe once i am cleared, we will have a chance!

OH and get this...I stopped bleeding this weekend, and today I am getting the normal side pain I get when I ovulate, I have EWCM and my temp went up! My poor body is confused....I continue to BBT to know where things are at, we are protecting like crazy with any as I want to get rid of the fibroid first.. but when they say you are fertile after an m/c they weren't kidding!

LL : I contemplated that at first, I really did , but I have opted to go the damsel in distress route, and suck up his attention big time lol....HE was excited, but he learned for the future...

thanks for listening guys...

Well mine has been lectured WAY in advance to keep his trap shut LOL...he almost slipped a few times but I caught it and would stare him down lol.

Glad you are figuring things out. May the next one be the lucky one!!!!

 

[Sus09]

Well, I was looking for a thread to post this, and I was not sure which one was the right one. But well here I go.

Today I have found out, that the girl I used to mentor few years ago, is pregnant for the 3rd time. Yes she is in her early 20s so fertility is good, but what makes me cynical is the fact that the 3 pregnancies have been "mistakes" not planned, not wanted. and of course they have different dads...

My cynical attitude is not agains the girl, well she could have been a bit more careful... 3 mistakes is a lot... but she is a great mum! I am cynical about life!!!!!! Why some can have it all by just not being careful and some who want it so much can´t have any

I am happy for the girl as again she will be a happy mum, but sad at the fact that I wish it was that easy for all of us here to conceive.