The father's family.

[_lucyinthesky]

Hi girls. I'm new here and I was hoping to get some advice about a situation that I'm in.

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and 18 yrs old living with my boyfriend and his family. I'm african american but he and his family are hispanic which makes it hard for his parents and I to communicate well.

My boyfriend is ALWAYS at work so I'm usually here alone awkwardly living side by side with his parents (who speak very little english) and two siblings (who are bilingual).

During the week while is family goes off to school and work, I usually stay here alone, and once they come home, there's so much spanish being spoken that I often feel left out.

I'm trying to learn their language, but of course it that takes time. Some days I stay in my room with my dog for hours without coming down because of how difficult it is to socialize.

But now I'm beginning to feel guilty about it. I feel so distant from everyone. Even his english speaking siblings (a 21 yr old girl, and 19 year old boy) because we literally have nothing in common..

I'm always polite, and respectful. I even clean the kitchen or dining room sometimes. But I'm finding it harder and harder to bond with my new family. Am I in the wrong here?

 

[xforuiholdonx]

I think.sincw your living with them you should put.forth a.bit of effort, and spend time with them. You often learn a.new.language while trying to speak it. Walk around the house apd ask your.mil how to say things in their language. May help

 

[jozylynn896]

Omg I'm in the EXACT situation! I swear I could've written this. I live with my boyfriend and I DO speak Spanish but its broken and shitty and make me feel insecure and embarrassed. Also I don't really talk to MIL or FIL because I just don't feel comfortable. (And latey MIL has been really rude to me causing me to talk to her even less.)
I spend most of my time closed in our room just watching Netflix or HULU and I used to feel terrible doing that but now its just like whatever in a sort of way.
OH comes home from work at like six sometimes 7 and when he gets there all he wants to do is lay down so we lay together and eventually fall asleep.
Lately what I've been doing though is asking my mom to come pick me up in the morning and then I'll take the bus home before OH gets there so I don't have to spend all day with his mom.

 

[_lucyinthesky]

I think.sincw your living with them you should put.forth a.bit of effort, and spend time with them. You often learn a.new.language while trying to speak it. Walk around the house apd ask your.mil how to say things in their language. May help

You're right. I'll begin putting in more effort since I do want us to be closer. I just get so discouraged because of how hard it is to connect with people who rarely speak your language. But I'll be raising a bilingual child soon, so I must try harder to learn.

 

[_lucyinthesky]

Omg I'm in the EXACT situation! I swear I could've written this. I live with my boyfriend and I DO speak Spanish but its broken and shitty and make me feel insecure and embarrassed. Also I don't really talk to MIL or FIL because I just don't feel comfortable. (And latey MIL has been really rude to me causing me to talk to her even less.)
I spend most of my time closed in our room just watching Netflix or HULU and I used to feel terrible doing that but now its just like whatever in a sort of way.
OH comes home from work at like six sometimes 7 and when he gets there all he wants to do is lay down so we lay together and eventually fall asleep.
Lately what I've been doing though is asking my mom to come pick me up in the morning and then I'll take the bus home before OH gets there so I don't have to spend all day with his mom.

OMG it sucks doesn't it? I would totally go visit my Mom more if we didn't live so far away from her. It's about an 1 hr 45 min drive from here to my Mother's house. The bus doesn't even come this far. Sometimes my boyfriend and I go visit her and my little sister, but only once a week. I've decided I'll try harder for the sake of the baby. Plus my boyfriend just told me he wants to stay until the baby is at least 6 months so.....bleh.

 

[skyesmom]

yeps, learning spanish is a good idea. and it can actually turn out to be fun. try to explain them you want to learn it and i am sure they will help you out as soon as they see how eager you are. also watching spanish-speaking tv shows is a good idea. and leaving bilingual post-it notes all over the house with words written both in english and in spanish can be of use for all of u.

i love learning languages, it makes me feel like a kid again and whenever i had to do it, it was always a good laugh for everybody

 

[magic93]

I cant really relate to this situation. But I think your doin the right thing by trying to connect with them as they are your babys grandparents. Jus make the best of the situation your in.. And I think itll be better once LO is here

 

[jozylynn896]

Oh please you're lucky! We have to stay until the babies at least two! Because I'm 16 and we can't get an apartment unless we're married.
What I find works really well is having something.to look forward to. Like a doctors appointment.
Focus all day every day on a doctors appointment thats coming up.
For me their every thursday so every day i just look forward to thrusday and it makes me feel kind of more focused and helps time to move faster.
Also, look up fetal development. Nor only do you educate yourself but it makes time go by faster.
I look up every week im on and dont read ahead so that i have something to look forward to.
I know it sounds stupid but trust me it works!

 

[MamaPerez]

I think.sincw your living with them you should put.forth a.bit of effort, and spend time with them. You often learn a.new.language while trying to speak it. Walk around the house apd ask your.mil how to say things in their language. May help

You're right. I'll begin putting in more effort since I do want us to be closer. I just get so discouraged because of how hard it is to connect with people who rarely speak your language. But I'll be raising a bilingual child soon, so I must try harder to learn.

Speaking as person who is married to a Puertorrican and my mother is Filipina with Spanish decent, our families appreciate effort. I know it's hard, but it helps. Just say, "Como se dice..." and point out or hold what you're trying to learn to say. Even a word every other day will help.