The one thing that is really panicking me!

[lisawoop]

I'm a FTM and I may be being completely silly but the only thing I'm really worrying about is when to call DH home from work! He works shifts so I don't want to phone too early as he only has two weeks paternity and I don't want him to waste any of that time sat around waiting when he could use his time to be with me and LO as a family when baby arrives, but I'm worried about leaving it too late as well! I'm due on the 21st dec and I'm going to a major city hospital so I am worried that it being close to Christmas traffic is likely to be bad almost constantly between 7am and 10/11pm and I really don't want baby in the car! Any amount of traffic will make DH panic too which he isn't going to need as he needs to worry about supporting me through labour not about the idiots on the roads so I guess I just wanna know what you all think?

Ladies that have been through this before when did you get OH home from work? Or do you have a plan or a point where you will phone?

Sorry for the rant just the only thing that's really scaring me about the whole thing atm

 

[mara16jade]

Hmm, that's a good point. Never been through it, but I think the easiest way for me would be to have my mom take me in if I thought I went into labor while my DH wasn't at home. I'd text him to let him know, and then update him if it is truly labor.

 

[Kess]

I'd just keep an eye on how long and close together your contractions are. Hospitals generally don't want you in until they're pretty intense I think (had a homebirth myself, so can't comment from experience but that's what I've been led to believe). There are apps and websites that can monitor your contraction length/frequency.

I rang DH when my waters broke and contractions started within about 20 minutes IIRC. We agreed he should stay in work for another hour as that meant he could come home at the end of core hours and not lose a day's paternity leave for just an hour. My contractions were slow and mild at that point anyway. The women in his office gave him grief though when he packed up at the end of the day and said I'd been in labour for an hour and a bit so he was leaving now!

 

[luna_19]

My labour was so fast I wasn't sure when to call mine home from work but ended up calling when contractions got really bad. Ended up getting to the hospital just in time so really I should have called earlier but I waited because I didn't want to call him home and end up not having the baby for ages.

 

[lovelylaura]

I was lucky that both mine came on his day off. But i would call when you feel you need him with you. You'll get to that point before baby is almost there if not midwifes will tell him to get an ambulance, they can tell how far you are from listening to your contractions. xx

 

[Mummy Bean]

My hospital dont advise ftm to come in until your contracting 3 in 10min.

Also a lot (although not all) labours start at night...so hopefully you will be lucky and he will be at home.

But if your real concerned perhaps look into another way of you getting to the hospital so he can meet you there.

 

[Pearls18]

DH was working 3.5 hours away, I had been getting niggles all day, then my contractions came on thick and fast 5 mins apart, I rang the MW who told me to get to hospital which was 40 miles away (in the direction of DH) my mum drove me and I rung DH, he made it with half an hour to spare, I started pushing just as he got there. It was a quick labour.

 

[geordie_gal]

I've been thinking the same.
My OH is assistant manager at a store and his overhead is a BITCH - I don't know how long to leave before calling either (assuming he is at work) as he got told he will be expected to stay until cover arrives (usually within an hour) but if I leave it late then maybe i'll be hating myself when Im in pain and alone, Im also really worried I will call him and get him home then labour will stop and he will be wasting paternity leave x

 

[lisawoop]

I've been thinking the same.
My OH is assistant manager at a store and his overhead is a BITCH - I don't know how long to leave before calling either (assuming he is at work) as he got told he will be expected to stay until cover arrives (usually within an hour) but if I leave it late then maybe i'll be hating myself when Im in pain and alone, Im also really worried I will call him and get him home then labour will stop and he will be wasting paternity leave x

So glad I'm not the only one! I don't no about you but I think the fact that I'm a FTM is making it worse as I really don't wana be on my own when things start happening but I don't no what I'm going to be like a the time. Really nervous

 

[hels08]

My OH works shifts too, last time i called when they were about 8 mins apart, he had time to get home, get changed etc, then we had about 2 hours before i got to 3 mins apart and we headed to hospital. Ill do the same this time probably, not when theyre still mild but when theyre regular enough to know it isnt going to stop and i need him with me x

 

[karry1412]

I'm a bit concerned about this also so I just asked DH & he left me under no illusions that I am to call him ASAP! I'm only 22 weeks & already have both my parents on alert for April - hopefully they can drive me with me & DH in the back seat. I don't want DH to have to worry about driving, my Dad would know alternative routes if traffic is bad (another major city hospital attender here!) & parking at the hospital is dreadful so DH wouldn't have to worry about parking. I just hope he doesn't decide to arrive during rush hour!