BrandiCanucks
Mommy of 4, WTT
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2010
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Some of you may have seen my story before. Long story short, my husband has become abusive in the last year, choking me while I was holding the baby, hitting me, (only once) and mostly verbally and emotionally abusive. He likes to tell me that "no one else will put up with my crap like he has", and I'm a "r*****" (which is extremely offensive as I have a special needs daughter and he knows I hate that word. He calls me other names too and now my 3 year old son has started using that language.
We have Children's Aid involvement, only because I called them in December asking them for their help in getting him some psychiatric help. I had convinced myself that if he got the help, he would change. Well, he still refuses to see someone for depression and possible bi-polar because he's afraid he'll lose any chance of custody if he gets diagnosed.
Well, last week he started a fight with me...again, and that was the last straw. He wanted to go get coffee and came bursting in the house asking where his bank card was. I told him it was in my sweater and he went off on me accusing me of trying to steal his money (he's unemployed living off Employment Insurance because he refuses to get a job, claiming EI pays him more to sit on his ass than any $15/h job to support his family of 5 would. Meanwhile, I'm working a full-time minimum wage job to support us all). Anyway, I reminded him that he gave me his card the night before to get groceries and rather than apologize, he changed the subject and started to accuse me of cheating on him. He constantly starts fights with me over little things and then shifts the blame and makes me think and feel like it's my fault and acts like he's completely innocent. He tells his friends and family what a horrible, abusive bitch I am, and his mother feeds it by calling me a deficient wife and mother (this from the woman who is currently on her fourth marriage and gave her son to her daughter to raise when he was only 9). He never takes responsibility for ANYTHING.
So, I spoke with CAS last week and they gave me this ultimatum: Leave him or lose the kids.
Obviously, I'm not about to lose my babies, so the process has been started. I have started collecting items I need for a new house and will be out of here by June, hopefully. CAS has agreed to back me in pursuit of temporary custody until a divorce is finalized, as he has threatened to take off to Mexico with them.
I hate this whole situation, but I love my babies more than life itself. What can I expect in this transition?
We have Children's Aid involvement, only because I called them in December asking them for their help in getting him some psychiatric help. I had convinced myself that if he got the help, he would change. Well, he still refuses to see someone for depression and possible bi-polar because he's afraid he'll lose any chance of custody if he gets diagnosed.
Well, last week he started a fight with me...again, and that was the last straw. He wanted to go get coffee and came bursting in the house asking where his bank card was. I told him it was in my sweater and he went off on me accusing me of trying to steal his money (he's unemployed living off Employment Insurance because he refuses to get a job, claiming EI pays him more to sit on his ass than any $15/h job to support his family of 5 would. Meanwhile, I'm working a full-time minimum wage job to support us all). Anyway, I reminded him that he gave me his card the night before to get groceries and rather than apologize, he changed the subject and started to accuse me of cheating on him. He constantly starts fights with me over little things and then shifts the blame and makes me think and feel like it's my fault and acts like he's completely innocent. He tells his friends and family what a horrible, abusive bitch I am, and his mother feeds it by calling me a deficient wife and mother (this from the woman who is currently on her fourth marriage and gave her son to her daughter to raise when he was only 9). He never takes responsibility for ANYTHING.
So, I spoke with CAS last week and they gave me this ultimatum: Leave him or lose the kids.
Obviously, I'm not about to lose my babies, so the process has been started. I have started collecting items I need for a new house and will be out of here by June, hopefully. CAS has agreed to back me in pursuit of temporary custody until a divorce is finalized, as he has threatened to take off to Mexico with them.
I hate this whole situation, but I love my babies more than life itself. What can I expect in this transition?
