rachiedata
Toddler & TTC
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Warning, very long!!
I'm writing this the night following little Charlie's birth, while it's still fresh in my mind I just wish I could shout it from the rooftops, publish it in the newpapers and tell the whole world, not just the whole of baby and bump, how proud I am of his safe arrival and how delighted we are with how smoothly his birth went.
Friday morning at about 0130, I was woken by some painful contractions. These lasted until about 0430, when I let OH know something was happening, but sent him to work anyway under the assumption that they would stop altogether, or increase in frequency throughout the day neither of which happened! They carried on all Friday I was a bit of a wimp about these, with hindsight, but did get a nap in the afternoon, though it was an interrupted sleep. Went for a walk to Tesco in the evening for supplies, as by now I realised they probably weren't going to stop. Watched some TV before going to bed, where neither me nor OH got any sleep at all. I'd put the TENS machine on before bed, which made them bearable but still noticeable.
Called the first midwife, L, out at about 5am, after a very painful one in bed had made me vomit. I got rid of the TENS and got in the bath, where the water relaxed me and got rid of most of the pain, but I threw up again after another bad one. She arrived about quarter to 7, after having spoken to me on the phone a few times. She stayed for about an hour, just chatting, and said she wasn't going to examine me as I was clearly still in latent labour. I felt drained, pale and worn out after getting out of the bath, so had some breakfast. Neither me nor OH can fully remember what we spent the rest of the morning doing except walking around, and I had a bloody show at some point not long after L left. I didn't bother putting my TENS back on and so felt a fair bit more pain as a result. Took some co-codamol and tried to settle down, but contractions then seemed to be coming closer together, so I called out the midwife again at about half 11.
A different one came, S, who was on call for that day for home births, and on call that night for emergencies. Although nice, she was so confident that I was not in established labour to the point I was a bit discouraged. Eventually she was the second midwife on call for the birth, and was great during the delivery, but her words at the time were you're not climbing the walls enough to be in active labour. OH maintains that I was just coping well, but at this point I was very tired and really felt I wasn't doing well at all. Again she didn't examine me and stayed less than an hour. At both of these visits, each midwife listened to the fetal heart rate, took my observations and recorded their visit in my notes, but after being told for the second time that day that I wasn't in labour, I felt like I was almost being told I was imagining how much pain I was in, a bit like nobody was taking me seriously. I had practised some Natal Hypnotherapy before the birth, although I wasn't religious about it, and OH mentioned this to S as he'd read how it helps a lot of women cope with the pain to the extent that when they are in labour, midwives/doctors can't believe how advanced they are due to their calmness I don't think this had a lot to do with my situation yesterday, and not criticising her judgement at all, because the best thing she did for me yesterday was leave at this point and let me and OH get on with it ourselves.
I went to bed for a bit S had mentioned he was probably lying posterior now, and this could be why I was having such a long latent phase I have grown now to hate the phrase latent phase!! - and also why I was having a bit of backache. I was tired from being up all night and for most of the previous night, and she advised that though it could slow labour down, if it was going to progress in time then it would, if not then I would be able to rest. This was good advice, as contractions were still every 6 minutes or so, lasting just less than a minute (bless OH and his contraction timer app for Android, really quite useful!), so I was able to doze for a few minutes between with a hot water bottle on my back. This we did between about 2 and 6, when OH said that we might try getting up and walking round. S phoned about half 4 to see how we were doing, and I attempted to eat some soup but didn't get much down me. I wanted to stay in bed, but by about 7 OH encouraged me to get up and walking around our flat until things were a little closer together. We got to 4 minutes apart, lasting 1.5 mins each, and I really thought I was getting nowhere fast. It still felt like terrible backache, and by this time I was getting a lot pressure round my bum, so wanted to spend a lot of time on the toilet. OH ran me a bath he put some lavender oil in, which I love, but sneakily got a bit of clary sage (contractant) in there too. Apparently I was becoming a bit irrational at this stage and got a bit mouthy with him, which I hadn't been at all up til that point, and we have both since said that we should have realised I was in transition. However, I'd been told all day that I wasn't in labour, so it didn't even occur to me. I was convinced that if I were to call a midwife and be examined, I'd be less than 4cm, and that would have had me begging to go to hospital for an epidural and c-section, which sounded amazing at the time. I said this a few times, and OH reminded me that it wasn't what I wanted, that I had so geared up for a natural childbirth at home and I would be disappointed to get so far and then get so discouraged not that it would have been a problem, if I had been only 4cm or so at that stage, I would have gone in for more pain relief, as it was so hard to cope with, but maybe he then sensed that we weren't far off meeting our son. I must stress that OH was my rock he was so encouraging all day, completely at my beck and call, offering support in every single way. He made sure I had enough to eat and drink, kept saying how well I was doing, physically held me upright amazing.
Anyway this bath he'd run for me I got in and hated it. The pressure on my bum was far too much to bear, I did want to bear down with it, but consciously didn't because I didn't once think I was anywhere past about 5cm! I was a bit shouty for gas and air then, and insisted on calling the midwife again. The third and final midwife, F, arrived with a student about half past 8. She had asked on the phone if I minded her bringing a student midwife, and where should she park, and I thought that I really couldn't care less as long as she brought me gas and air ASAP. As she arrived I was standing up clutching on to the bed, I'd put the TENS back on when I'd got out the bath and cranked it right up. She got the gas and air on for me immediately, then asked to examine me. Her student, J, arrived, and F's words to her were Get my phone, call S now, and tell her to get round here NOW... I can't feel any cervix at all. So she looks at me and goes I'd say you were fully, and he's got a well flexed head... do you feel like pushing? at which point I realised I'd felt like pushing for a good hour or so, so said Yes!. She said that as she reckoned this could be a good sized baby, she would recommend I get upright into a squat to push, which was fine by me. S arrived, and she and J threw the shower curtains (which we hadn't yet put down I explained that if I'd thought second stage would be so soon I'd have put them down long ago) and some inco pads on the floor in the bedroom and got me leaning onto the cot, with the Entonox canister at my feet and the TENS, cranked to the highest, sitting in the cot.
It honestly felt like I was pushing for about half an hour, but think it was closer to an hour and a half, as after a while S asked if they could try breaking my waters to hurry him along. I asked them not to, as I felt I was doing well, and they said no problem. I remember the sweat pouring off me and changing position as my legs were shaking, into a low squat between OH's knees he was sat on the bed and tells me he was in pain at this point but figured he wouldn't have got much sympathy to have mentioned it!! I got back up and the three midwives although J was a student, she was excellent and so encouraging, it was her first home birth and I said it was fine for her to catch him as he was born were really going for it with the push, push, push! with each contraction. I hadn't thought I would want coached pushing like that, but it did help me, and they let me know any progress with each push. They could see a bag of membranes, but it wasn't breaking at all, so they just left it alone, which was great. Eventually the stinging started, and I could see drops of blood at my feet, and knew it wasn't long to go. One big push, then it was a chorus of pant, pant pant!, yet another push and his head was out. The next contraction followed very shortly, and his body flopped out in one go, still completely in his membranes, at 23:15. OH said it was completely amazing his eyes were open and the bag was intact something he could never possibly forget and something so few get to witness.
Although I didn't want the cord cut immediately and they knew I was having a physiological third stage, I think I panicked a bit because the other four in the room where so overwhelmed with him being born this way that as I couldn't see him, I kept saying Where is he? Show him to me! and getting anxious to see him, so they did cut the cord. I thought something had gone wrong, as there was no gasp or cry, but OH says that F was just cutting the membranes to allow him to take his first breath. As it happened, I wasn't bothered by this, as I was so elated he was OK. I asked for the syntocin injection to deliver the placenta but F said to just wait. They still seemed impatient to get it out, even though it was only 20 minutes. OH wasted no time whipping his shirt off for skin to skin whilst that was coming, and then F assessed me for tears and found I had a bit of an awkward second degree perineal tear, with some tearing of the labia. I had desperately wanted to get him skin to skin and on the breast straight away, but instead felt I was birthing the placenta and waiting with my legs in the air for F to find the correct suture kit! I don't think it took much longer than an hour, and all the time he was happy with dad. He kept looking for his breast though, and S tried to get him onto me, but he didn't really want to settle with the lights still on bright for her to see where she was stitching me. He fed about an hour later when they left us alone to write up their notes together, and he has fed like a complete star all day, no problem getting a wide open mouth to latch on, though he finds my left nipple easier than my right! He was so alert when he was born, so active and wide awake, he is just amazing.
I couldn't be prouder of my new little family, for my beautiful son and fantastic partner, and would encourage anyone even remotely interested to arrange a home birth it couldn't have gone better and I am over the moon.
I'm writing this the night following little Charlie's birth, while it's still fresh in my mind I just wish I could shout it from the rooftops, publish it in the newpapers and tell the whole world, not just the whole of baby and bump, how proud I am of his safe arrival and how delighted we are with how smoothly his birth went.
Friday morning at about 0130, I was woken by some painful contractions. These lasted until about 0430, when I let OH know something was happening, but sent him to work anyway under the assumption that they would stop altogether, or increase in frequency throughout the day neither of which happened! They carried on all Friday I was a bit of a wimp about these, with hindsight, but did get a nap in the afternoon, though it was an interrupted sleep. Went for a walk to Tesco in the evening for supplies, as by now I realised they probably weren't going to stop. Watched some TV before going to bed, where neither me nor OH got any sleep at all. I'd put the TENS machine on before bed, which made them bearable but still noticeable.
Called the first midwife, L, out at about 5am, after a very painful one in bed had made me vomit. I got rid of the TENS and got in the bath, where the water relaxed me and got rid of most of the pain, but I threw up again after another bad one. She arrived about quarter to 7, after having spoken to me on the phone a few times. She stayed for about an hour, just chatting, and said she wasn't going to examine me as I was clearly still in latent labour. I felt drained, pale and worn out after getting out of the bath, so had some breakfast. Neither me nor OH can fully remember what we spent the rest of the morning doing except walking around, and I had a bloody show at some point not long after L left. I didn't bother putting my TENS back on and so felt a fair bit more pain as a result. Took some co-codamol and tried to settle down, but contractions then seemed to be coming closer together, so I called out the midwife again at about half 11.
A different one came, S, who was on call for that day for home births, and on call that night for emergencies. Although nice, she was so confident that I was not in established labour to the point I was a bit discouraged. Eventually she was the second midwife on call for the birth, and was great during the delivery, but her words at the time were you're not climbing the walls enough to be in active labour. OH maintains that I was just coping well, but at this point I was very tired and really felt I wasn't doing well at all. Again she didn't examine me and stayed less than an hour. At both of these visits, each midwife listened to the fetal heart rate, took my observations and recorded their visit in my notes, but after being told for the second time that day that I wasn't in labour, I felt like I was almost being told I was imagining how much pain I was in, a bit like nobody was taking me seriously. I had practised some Natal Hypnotherapy before the birth, although I wasn't religious about it, and OH mentioned this to S as he'd read how it helps a lot of women cope with the pain to the extent that when they are in labour, midwives/doctors can't believe how advanced they are due to their calmness I don't think this had a lot to do with my situation yesterday, and not criticising her judgement at all, because the best thing she did for me yesterday was leave at this point and let me and OH get on with it ourselves.
I went to bed for a bit S had mentioned he was probably lying posterior now, and this could be why I was having such a long latent phase I have grown now to hate the phrase latent phase!! - and also why I was having a bit of backache. I was tired from being up all night and for most of the previous night, and she advised that though it could slow labour down, if it was going to progress in time then it would, if not then I would be able to rest. This was good advice, as contractions were still every 6 minutes or so, lasting just less than a minute (bless OH and his contraction timer app for Android, really quite useful!), so I was able to doze for a few minutes between with a hot water bottle on my back. This we did between about 2 and 6, when OH said that we might try getting up and walking round. S phoned about half 4 to see how we were doing, and I attempted to eat some soup but didn't get much down me. I wanted to stay in bed, but by about 7 OH encouraged me to get up and walking around our flat until things were a little closer together. We got to 4 minutes apart, lasting 1.5 mins each, and I really thought I was getting nowhere fast. It still felt like terrible backache, and by this time I was getting a lot pressure round my bum, so wanted to spend a lot of time on the toilet. OH ran me a bath he put some lavender oil in, which I love, but sneakily got a bit of clary sage (contractant) in there too. Apparently I was becoming a bit irrational at this stage and got a bit mouthy with him, which I hadn't been at all up til that point, and we have both since said that we should have realised I was in transition. However, I'd been told all day that I wasn't in labour, so it didn't even occur to me. I was convinced that if I were to call a midwife and be examined, I'd be less than 4cm, and that would have had me begging to go to hospital for an epidural and c-section, which sounded amazing at the time. I said this a few times, and OH reminded me that it wasn't what I wanted, that I had so geared up for a natural childbirth at home and I would be disappointed to get so far and then get so discouraged not that it would have been a problem, if I had been only 4cm or so at that stage, I would have gone in for more pain relief, as it was so hard to cope with, but maybe he then sensed that we weren't far off meeting our son. I must stress that OH was my rock he was so encouraging all day, completely at my beck and call, offering support in every single way. He made sure I had enough to eat and drink, kept saying how well I was doing, physically held me upright amazing.
Anyway this bath he'd run for me I got in and hated it. The pressure on my bum was far too much to bear, I did want to bear down with it, but consciously didn't because I didn't once think I was anywhere past about 5cm! I was a bit shouty for gas and air then, and insisted on calling the midwife again. The third and final midwife, F, arrived with a student about half past 8. She had asked on the phone if I minded her bringing a student midwife, and where should she park, and I thought that I really couldn't care less as long as she brought me gas and air ASAP. As she arrived I was standing up clutching on to the bed, I'd put the TENS back on when I'd got out the bath and cranked it right up. She got the gas and air on for me immediately, then asked to examine me. Her student, J, arrived, and F's words to her were Get my phone, call S now, and tell her to get round here NOW... I can't feel any cervix at all. So she looks at me and goes I'd say you were fully, and he's got a well flexed head... do you feel like pushing? at which point I realised I'd felt like pushing for a good hour or so, so said Yes!. She said that as she reckoned this could be a good sized baby, she would recommend I get upright into a squat to push, which was fine by me. S arrived, and she and J threw the shower curtains (which we hadn't yet put down I explained that if I'd thought second stage would be so soon I'd have put them down long ago) and some inco pads on the floor in the bedroom and got me leaning onto the cot, with the Entonox canister at my feet and the TENS, cranked to the highest, sitting in the cot.
It honestly felt like I was pushing for about half an hour, but think it was closer to an hour and a half, as after a while S asked if they could try breaking my waters to hurry him along. I asked them not to, as I felt I was doing well, and they said no problem. I remember the sweat pouring off me and changing position as my legs were shaking, into a low squat between OH's knees he was sat on the bed and tells me he was in pain at this point but figured he wouldn't have got much sympathy to have mentioned it!! I got back up and the three midwives although J was a student, she was excellent and so encouraging, it was her first home birth and I said it was fine for her to catch him as he was born were really going for it with the push, push, push! with each contraction. I hadn't thought I would want coached pushing like that, but it did help me, and they let me know any progress with each push. They could see a bag of membranes, but it wasn't breaking at all, so they just left it alone, which was great. Eventually the stinging started, and I could see drops of blood at my feet, and knew it wasn't long to go. One big push, then it was a chorus of pant, pant pant!, yet another push and his head was out. The next contraction followed very shortly, and his body flopped out in one go, still completely in his membranes, at 23:15. OH said it was completely amazing his eyes were open and the bag was intact something he could never possibly forget and something so few get to witness.
Although I didn't want the cord cut immediately and they knew I was having a physiological third stage, I think I panicked a bit because the other four in the room where so overwhelmed with him being born this way that as I couldn't see him, I kept saying Where is he? Show him to me! and getting anxious to see him, so they did cut the cord. I thought something had gone wrong, as there was no gasp or cry, but OH says that F was just cutting the membranes to allow him to take his first breath. As it happened, I wasn't bothered by this, as I was so elated he was OK. I asked for the syntocin injection to deliver the placenta but F said to just wait. They still seemed impatient to get it out, even though it was only 20 minutes. OH wasted no time whipping his shirt off for skin to skin whilst that was coming, and then F assessed me for tears and found I had a bit of an awkward second degree perineal tear, with some tearing of the labia. I had desperately wanted to get him skin to skin and on the breast straight away, but instead felt I was birthing the placenta and waiting with my legs in the air for F to find the correct suture kit! I don't think it took much longer than an hour, and all the time he was happy with dad. He kept looking for his breast though, and S tried to get him onto me, but he didn't really want to settle with the lights still on bright for her to see where she was stitching me. He fed about an hour later when they left us alone to write up their notes together, and he has fed like a complete star all day, no problem getting a wide open mouth to latch on, though he finds my left nipple easier than my right! He was so alert when he was born, so active and wide awake, he is just amazing.
I couldn't be prouder of my new little family, for my beautiful son and fantastic partner, and would encourage anyone even remotely interested to arrange a home birth it couldn't have gone better and I am over the moon.
What a lovely home birth story 
