Things no one tells you about labour, birth and post partum!

[pachamama92]

Now I´m into my second tri I´ve started thinking about birth number two and I´m remembering all the things NO ONE TOLD ME!!! Wonder if it will be the same this time round but glad I kind of know what to expect this time! Here´s my list, feel free to add...

1.) The uncontrollable shaking when labour started, anyone else get this?? Just me? Oh yeah and the vomiting and diarreah,what was that about?!
2.) I hated my OH, just like in the films. I thought this was just a cliché but I really did want to thump him just for being. His breathing was making me so mad, his expression of "oh, I dont know what to do!" ´made me mad, the fact he couldn´t massage my back right made me mad...
3.) Breastfeeding is REALLY HARD!!! And you have to set an alarm EVERY 2 HOURS to feed (then they feed for 40 minutes, you sleep for an hour and the whole thing starts again) That´s AFTER LABOUR!!! Get plenty of sleep as soon as your due date startss approaching. My plan this time is just to go to sleep at 37 weeks and hopefully wake up when contractions start...
4.) It makes a difference when you go into labour. First thing in the morning after a good´s night sleep? Fantastic! 2am after no sleep? Epidural / formula looking way more appealing (and I breastfed LO for 3 years but I´m making no promises about this one).. See number 3
5.) Once you get an epidural you can have a little rest and read a book!! Didn´t expect that!
6.) pack a bag for your OH. They probably need a change of clothes more than you do, you get a hospital gown.
7.) flipflops are really useful for the showers.
8.) Contractions might start in your back, or they might only be in your back. I had no tummy contractions and I made it to 6 cm before I succombed and begged for drugs. Wasn´t what I was expecting at all
9.) You really will be a good mother!!

OK, my list probably not the same as everyone elses but let some FTMs know what the are in for!! I wish someone had told me!!

 

[jlw617]

Now I´m into my second tri I´ve started thinking about birth number two and I´m remembering all the things NO ONE TOLD ME!!! Wonder if it will be the same this time round but glad I kind of know what to expect this time! Here´s my list, feel free to add...

1.) The uncontrollable shaking when labour started, anyone else get this?? Just me? Oh yeah and the vomiting and diarreah,what was that about?!
2.) I hated my OH, just like in the films. I thought this was just a cliché but I really did want to thump him just for being. His breathing was making me so mad, his expression of "oh, I dont know what to do!" ´made me mad, the fact he couldn´t massage my back right made me mad...
3.) Breastfeeding is REALLY HARD!!! And you have to set an alarm EVERY 2 HOURS to feed (then they feed for 40 minutes, you sleep for an hour and the whole thing starts again) That´s AFTER LABOUR!!! Get plenty of sleep as soon as your due date startss approaching. My plan this time is just to go to sleep at 37 weeks and hopefully wake up when contractions start...
4.) It makes a difference when you go into labour. First thing in the morning after a good´s night sleep? Fantastic! 2am after no sleep? Epidural / formula looking way more appealing (and I breastfed LO for 3 years but I´m making no promises about this one).. See number 3
5.) Once you get an epidural you can have a little rest and read a book!! Didn´t expect that!
6.) pack a bag for your OH. They probably need a change of clothes more than you do, you get a hospital gown.
7.) flipflops are really useful for the showers.
8.) Contractions might start in your back, or they might only be in your back. I had no tummy contractions and I made it to 6 cm before I succombed and begged for drugs. Wasn´t what I was expecting at all
9.) You really will be a good mother!!

OK, my list probably not the same as everyone elses but let some FTMs know what the are in for!! I wish someone had told me!!

Haha great list!and pretty true for me on most of it...
1.not true for me although I did have the urge to vomit once it was time to push!
2. Umm a little, especially when he was sleeping through part of my early labor!
3. Yes!!!!
4.though I have to agree, I will also add it depends on what child it is, for example my first one my labor started at around 6in the morning but being my first labor I labored for 14hours! My second labor started around 11pmbut I was done by 6 am, in all honesty i was more tired with my first but they compare it to a marathon so I guess it was it was the difference between a 14 hour marathon and a less intense 7 hour labor.
5-9. Yes!
10. Don't overpack your hospital bag! I promise you will not care that much what you look like, you will have diapers there, use them and steal the rest!
11. If you get an epidural, there's a very good chance you will look like the stay puff marshmallow man for atleast a week and you will not be able to wear shoes for that duration so make sure you do a least at pack some slippers that will fit your whale sized feet!

 

[greats]

Fun thread! Here's my list...

-Keep an open mind! Your birth plan may be thrown out the window. Mentally prepare for an epidural not working right (mine was a terrible experience, never getting one again!), and mentally prepare for a possible c-section because you never know what could happen during labor.
-Pack comfy shoes that will fit puffy feet!
-Make sure you call your hospital to see what is given to you, ie diapers, pads, pacifiers, towels, etc. It'll help when you're packing all your hospital bags.
-Plan for meals! My hospital had me order food for each meal but only for myself as that is what my insurance covered. So if your OH is staying at the hospital with you, plan what they are going to eat.

 

[LucyLadyBug]

This thread is really interesting, knew about the possibility of most of these (except the back contractions. did not know that was a thing)

I'm still WTT, but love doing as much research as I can to understand what I can in prep. (whilst baring in mind everything I plan may go out the window last minute)

 

[Eleanor ace]

Two words- after pains. Sweet lord. I didn't know they existed when I had my first so they were quite a shock. They say that they get worse with each child and it was certainly true when I had my second; for a few days I really struggled with them, they were as bad as labour contractions. I'm pregnant with number 3 and I'm not worrying about labour but I'm finding the idea of the after pains pretty daunting!

The other thing I really wasn't expecting was how awesome I felt after giving birth the first time. I felt like a superhero! It was such an adrenaline rush and it felt like such an awesome achievement to have brought my LO into the world.

 

[pachamama92]

OMG, meal planning is so important!! Oh lived off chocolate bars and vending machine sandwiches for two days!

Had totally forgotten about the after pains and the superhero feeling, nothing beats that!!

I just remembered another thing, anyone else offered a uterine "massage"?? Post partum?

 

[Eleanor ace]

Ugh I had the uterine massage with my and to get the placenta out, it didn't want to budge even when I had the injection and the contractions to deliver it were rough. Didn't enjoy the uterine massage (aka pulverising my middle when it is the most tender its ever been).

 

[Feronia]

Why would you set an alarm to breastfeed? Just watch your baby for signs of hunger and pop a boob in whenever you think he/she might be hungry. Easy!

1. Every baby is different. My daughter fed for 20 minutes or so on both sides, but my son feeds on one side for 5 minutes or so and he's done. He's gaining more weight, too.
2. The afterpains after a subsequent birth are HORRENDOUS. FAR worse than labour. Prepare some catnip tea or cramp bark for afterwards because Tylenol doesn't work. I wish I prepared ahead of time!
3. On the flipside, labour really wasn't painful for me, though I went into it with the mindset that it wouldn't be that bad. (I had 2 home births) I started thinking I was remembering things incorrectly after my first birth, that it must have been painful, but nope - my second birth also wasn't painful and I said so at the time! It was fun!
4. If you do it without pain meds or artificial oxytocin, the feeling you get afterwards is intense -- it's the best feeling in the world. A natural high that lasts for DAYS. I had a home birth with my first, but needed pitocin afterwards due to hemorrhaging. I didn't need it after my second and oh man - the difference was incredible. Instant love, feeling on top of the world, spectacular!
5. Yeah, uterine massage sucks. Again, worse than labour.
6. The first shower after birth is incredible!
7. Breastfeeding two at once makes me feel like a giant pair of boobs and nothing else.
8. Co-sleeping is the best. I can't imagine how people get up at night to feed their babies and then function the next day!
9. Having the older sibling(s) witness the birth of the new baby is an incredible gift and facilitates bonding.
10. You can do this, your body can do this, and you will be amazing.

 

[Srrme]

The only thing I experienced on your list was the shaking! Drove me nuts!

 

[jlw617]

Why would you set an alarm to breastfeed? Just watch your baby for signs of hunger and pop a boob in whenever you think he/she might be hungry. Easy!

This isn't necessarily true, not trying to be argumentative but I had to set an alarm with mine because they were so small which made them much more drowsy and the majority of the time wouldn't show signs of hunger-I just want moms out there to know that not all babies are not the same and it's ok to set an alarm for whatever reason you choose but especially if you have a smaller baby who may not show hunger signs...

 

[Feronia]

Why would you set an alarm to breastfeed? Just watch your baby for signs of hunger and pop a boob in whenever you think he/she might be hungry. Easy!

This isn't necessarily true, not trying to be argumentative but I had to set an alarm with mine because they were so small which made them much more drowsy and the majority of the time wouldn't show signs of hunger-I just want moms out there to know that not all babies are not the same and it's ok to set an alarm for whatever reason you choose but especially if you have a smaller baby who may not show hunger signs...

True, you're totally right for very young newborns and smaller than average babies. I just wanted moms to know that for older babies, (even after 6 weeks or so if the baby is gaining well) breastfeeding doesn't need to be that stressful!

 

[jlw617]

Why would you set an alarm to breastfeed? Just watch your baby for signs of hunger and pop a boob in whenever you think he/she might be hungry. Easy!

This isn't necessarily true, not trying to be argumentative but I had to set an alarm with mine because they were so small which made them much more drowsy and the majority of the time wouldn't show signs of hunger-I just want moms out there to know that not all babies are not the same and it's ok to set an alarm for whatever reason you choose but especially if you have a smaller baby who may not show hunger signs...

True, you're totally right for very young newborns and smaller than average babies. I just wanted moms to know that for older babies, (even after 6 weeks or so if the baby is gaining well) breastfeeding doesn't need to be that stressful!

Yep, totally agree with this! I just know that for some new mommies, this isn't common knowledge, I think both tips are helpful, do what you have to do especially with smaller than average babies and then go by cues when that baby is big enough if that's the way you prefer to feed

 

[Button#]

I had to set an alarm at night for the first few days because DS was sleepy and didn't like waking up to feed. I stopped once he had regained his birth weight and he decided to wake up more frequently.

I also remember after having DS I was far more interested in the jacket potato with baked beans and cheese that thy brought in for my lunch than I was in the baby at first!

That feeling when you don't have to push anymore is the best thing I've ever felt.

The feeling when baby's head is out and the body isn't yet is the weirdest thing I've ever felt.

 

[spicyorange]

This is so interesting (scary) - I feel like I have no idea what in in for...but maybe that's for the best!

 

[Button#]

Don't be scared Spicyorange. Even with all the weird and uncomfortable bits it's actually kind of fun in a strange kind of way, you'll never do anything that compares to giving birth.

 

[spicyorange]

I'm terrified if two things, tearing and pooping!!

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I'm terrified if two things, tearing and pooping!!

These were my 2 main ones as well I ended up with an episiotomy.. Didn't feel it when they did it but recovery was sore, however after a fortnight it was all totally back to normal, no pain! As for pooping, you worry about it through pregnancy but when it comes to the birth and after the birth you just completely forget and couldn't care less! Plus there's a good chance you won't even realise

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I think with my second birth I will be more open minded. First time round I went into labour naturally, stayed at home until waters broke naturally and was 7cm by the time I went into hospital. Only opted for gas and air once I was there but then for no reason in particular my baby went into foetal distress and I was rushed straight to theatre for a spinal block, cut and immediate removal of baby via forceps. I'm definitely hoping for a more 'normal' birth but I'm a lot more accepting that these things can be out of our control.

 

[MindUtopia]

A few things, I would add:

Birth totally doesn't have to be like it is on OBEM. Mine was calm, relaxed, no shouting in pain, just some moaning at the end when I was pushing as it helped. I was walking around pretty much the whole time, eating, it was really nice. Giving birth was totally a breeze compared to being a parent. That's when it gets hard. So you've got this thing!

As for the postnatal period, no one prepared me for how rough it would be. I became anaemic after birth for no obvious reason (iron levels were great at 28 weeks, didn't bleed much, never had any signs of anaemia in late pregnancy). I literally could barely make it to the loo and back without passing out. My heart would race and I'd feel like I was about to have a heart attack everytime I stood up and I was so out of breath after a few steps. It was horrendous. It's not normal to feel that way and I wish I'd been able to vocalise how bad I felt and had known it wasn't normal. Iron tablets, Spatone and taking my placenta capsules helped to bring it back up. But at one point, they were recommending a blood transfusion, I was so ill. If you don't feel right, say so.

I wasn't prepared for how sore I felt after birth. My legs ached. My stomach muscles ached. I couldn't even stand upright at first because everything just ached. It hurt to sit. I had a pretty easy all natural home birth. I thought I would just bounce back and feel great. But I didn't. Taking baths twice a day in epsom salts and lavender oil helped. As did using a natural postnatal spray down there. I didn't know about padsicles then, but I'll made some next time.

Placenta encapsulation is awesome. I really think it saved me from PND. The change in how I felt from before I started taking my capsules to after was amazing.

Whether you are BF or FF, feed, feed, feed lots. Don't let them stress you out about weight loss or gain, schedules, making you feel like you're not doing it right. If you just feed lots, as much as your baby wants, all the time, you'll be fine. My daughter lost 12% of her birth weight at 2 days. The midwives started to panic and it started us on a path that led to all sorts of stress and problems with feeding. Had I just listened to my gut and ignored all their bad advice, we would have had a much more enjoyable first 2 months, rather than the stressful, anxious time we had. Find someone whose advice you trust and let them support you. But don't buy into all the pressure to tick boxes if you don't feel like you're getting good support.

Sit on your bum. Let everyone take care of you. Feed and sleep for the first 6 weeks. Take care of yourself. Literally, sleep when the baby sleeps, even if it means turning away visitors and going to bed at 7pm every night. Your partner can cook. Any visitors can bring a meal and clean up after. Let your baby feed and sleep on you as much as possible. Don't worry about the dishes or the cleaning. Hire someone to do it if you can.

 

[Button#]

I'm terrified if two things, tearing and pooping!!

These were my 2 main ones as well I ended up with an episiotomy.. Didn't feel it when they did it but recovery was sore, however after a fortnight it was all totally back to normal, no pain! As for pooping, you worry about it through pregnancy but when it comes to the birth and after the birth you just completely forget and couldn't care less! Plus there's a good chance you won't even realise

Agreed! I had an episiotamy as well and recovered reasonably quickly. I never noticed pooing during labour but OH said I did in the pool.