Things no one tells you about labour, birth and post partum!

[Feronia]

I'm terrified if two things, tearing and pooping!!

I didn't tear or poop either time! I'm not sure what you can do to prevent the pooping (but I can assure you your doctor or midwife won't care in the least if it happens), but there's plenty you can do to decrease your risk of tearing (birthing in an upright position, birthing the head slowly and in between contractions if you can, or using water or hot compresses).

And yeah, placenta encapsulation is awesome! I wish I did it with my first, but I did with my second and I felt a lot better. When I forgot to take them, I felt strange and anxious -- it was pretty apparent.

 

[Snufflepop]

Things I wish I had known:

To take it easy when I arrived home. I was up and about far to soon and as a result my stitches came apart! Had I just rested on the sofa and let people wait on me I would have healed much quicker!

I wish someone had warned me about constipation after birth. It was horrendous, worse than actually giving birth.

I second the thing about anaemia. I became severely anemic and had to go on iron tablets and spatone. This helped straight away. Watch out for feeling exhausted/breathless because that could be why.

I know that all sounds bad but honestly the totally euphoric feeling I had once I had dd made up for all of that. I felt invincible and like I could do anything. It's a high like nothing else. Also the sense of awe in what my body had done. You will never feel anything close to that feeling!
I can't wait to have no2 so I can experience it all again!

 

[DoubleTFun]

1. Your birth plan is just that..a plan. Don't expect for it to be followed at all. Things happen that you couldn't have expected and sometimes you just have to do what is best, not what you want.
2. Pooping..it happens. I was so proud that I didn't poop during my first birth, then my husband burst my bubble and said, "You totally pooped!" I couldn't believe it. The nurses and Dr. didn't even mention it. They just cleaned me up and moved on.
3. First births can go fast! I was one of the lucky ones and went into labor, and had my first within 3 hours of the first contraction. I arrived at hospital fully dilated and was pushing before the Dr even got there.
4. Tearing happens. I didn't even feel it during my first labor, but I ended up so swollen after they had to put in a catheter for a few hours until the swelling went down. Second labor I was up and about within an hour almost as if I hadn't spent the whole day in labor.
5. Breastfeeding is tough, but so worth it. I was so stressed the first few days because my milk hadn't come in..it's okay! When my milk showed up I felt like I had giant water balloons ready to burst! My second night in the hospital I was so worried because my second baby didn't want to wake up to feed. The nurse reassured me that he would wake up when he was hungry. That was my only night for 6 months that I could have slept! After that He was feeding every 2 hours and I was exhausted!
6. Sleep when you can. If you have someone to watch the baby for a few hours take advantage of it. Any help offered take it. Free meals ..yes please! Rest, rest rest and take care of your baby. It is bonding time!
7. Yes you have to give birth to the placenta too. It is annoying! I had no clue during my first labor and thought they were crazy! It is not fun when they are pushing on your stomach after you just spent hours pushing out your LO.

 

[pachamama92]

I had forgotten about the anemia! I lost a lot of blood in labour (because of a complication that no FTM needs to hear about !) And like PP said, I could barely get to the loo. OH had to bathe me and take me to pee! Didn't expect to feel like that at all.

 

[kajastarlight]

aaah the things I experienced that no one prepaired me for....

1 - "Birth plan" that turned out to be the funniest joke ever..... The only thing that went according to plan with DS1 was that he was born and the only thing that went according to plan with DS2 is that after he was born I got immediate skin to skin contact.

2 – OK, someone actually did prepare me for this one a little, and I am glad she did because boy was it true!!! If you get an epidural, it sends little (sometimes not so little) “zings” down your spine and that is normal and OK. I would have FREAKED OUT if she hadn’t prepared me and no one ells told me about it.
3 – the epidural experience can be quite nice! OK, so I got nauseous with DS2, but they gave me Pitocin too so it could have been the combo that made me throw up. And I thought it was HILLARIOUS!!! Hahaa, because I couldn’t realy feel any discomfort in throwing up. But with both DS1 and DS2 after the epidural was working correctly I took a nap and was nice and rested for pushing time. I remember everything – including the look on each of their precious faces when they came out and that hit of adrenalin reached me right through the drugs! So not all epidural experiences are bad or even “less amazing than natural” birth experiences.
4 – Push like you are taking the biggest poo of your life. No one told me how to push! My body just did it right one time after 30 min of pushing wrong and the nurse was like “ya! Just like that!!!” and I was like – “oh, well why didn’t you say so??? And my DS1 was out 15 min after that! I knew how to push from the beginning with DS2 so I pushed him out in 3 pushes. Took about 2 min!
5 –The crazy wave of adrenalin and love that wash over you! It is indescribable – and that is probably why no one tried to tell me about it. Like nothing in the world could have penetrated my perfect world staring into my LO’s eyes for those first few days – every touch my OH (at the time) gave me was sheer bliss. It was just me, him, and our LO….. Perfectly perfect in a way I never even knew was possible.
6 – you just might still look about 6 months pregnant for a while after you have the baby…. Booo!
7 – you STILL won’t be able to sleep on your stomach because your boobs will be engorged!!!
8 – the after pains ….. OMG the after pains! Just snuggle your baby – that will actually make them worse but somehow better at the same time. Hormones are so weird!
9 – pack for your OH – you will mostly be taken care of but he won’t at all! LOL

 

[NotNic]

In general Id say that postpartum can suck. I was warned about blood loss but nothing else. First time I got horrific night sweats. I was disgusting! Second time I didn't, but then he was an Oct baby, I didn't have odemas in my legs and I wasn't put on a drip.

I'd also say that pain from stitches past 2 weeks is probably not normal. Equally if you've had stitches don't try to be a martyr and go without painkillers - silly!

Agree that breastfeeding is not easy. I really believe that most are able to bfeed but that doesn't mean you have too. Also supplementing doesn't have to be the death of your feeding experience. I combi-fed my first for 5mths and supplemented my second on occasions, swapping to combifeeding near the end. Without mixing the feeding system up, I wouldn't have been able to give my boys my milk for the amount of time I did.

Shaking after birth is normal. Extended itching probably isn't.

Babies burp and pass wind very loudly!

Unmedicated births are much easier to recover from. I really recommend avoiding drugs if you can and you feel you can manage. I felt a million times better after my second birth than I did my first.

You don't need to have visitors nonstop for the first few weeks. Give yourself time to settle in and work on feeding and how you want to do things.

 

[NotNic]

Oh and labour isn't always bad! You can have a good experience

 

[too_scared]

Notnic, I had night sweats too. It was beyond awful. When I mentioned it to the public health nurse she looked at me like I was disgusting. She's a great nurse... I had pitocin and iv antibiotics and probably fluids too. I didn't even think there could be a connection. Thanks! I really hope I don't need them this time.

Also, no one told me that the pain from an episiotomy can last up to a year and still be considered perfectly normal. I saw an ob at 8 month pp for the pain and she said it was perfectly normal and gave me numbing gel to use if I wanted to dtd. She said because it is a cut and not a tear the nerves heal differently. I'm really hoping to avoid one this time!

Also, no one told me I could get terrible pain in my tail bone. You can actually break it. My son was back to back and I was pushing 2.5 hours (with no pain relief ). I could barely sit for weeks. It made for a very hard time with bf because no one told me to try laying down, everything was done sitting.

I think that's it. Besides agreeing with everyone that bf'ing is so, so hard. But it's totally worth it if you can work it out. Even with our shaky start it really was such a great way to connect with kiddo.

 

[Rhio92]

The first time you stand up after giving birth feels weird! Soon get used to it though.

 

[pachamama92]

Oh, it feels soo weird when you stand up! I felt like my insides might fall out!!

I wish someone had told me that it doesn't matter what travel system you buy really but narrow ones are much easier to negotiate buses and metros with!! Of and test the car seat in your car before you get to 37 weeks!

 

[NotNic]

Too_scared sounds like we had similar first births. I had pain up to about 10mths with my episiotomy and had ongoing issues dtd. I was told that it wasn't normal and I didn't have to put up with it. I should have got help really but the idea of being cut and restitched to correct my lumpy scar wasn't appealing! Not to scare any first timers though. I overheal and have scar issues. I don't think this is common. I tore along my scar second time and was stitched with no complications.

 

[too_scared]

My scar healed very smoothly. I can barely tell it's there. I don't think it was an issue with scar tissue with me. I think it was nerve issues with me. My pain went away around 10 months pp.

 

[Berri]

1 - Yes. A lot of labours are long but not all. It can go fast (we nearly didn't make the hospital with the 1st and DS2 was about 2 minutes away from missing the 2nd).

2 - Your labour is about YOU and you decide what you want - just because "they" usually do it this way, doesn't mean you have to do it that way. Unless it's an emergency and you or your baby are at risk, everything is up for negotiation (including constant monitoring, being confined to bed, internal exams, etc.)

3 - Waters breaking is GROSS. my first was born en caul but my second i had my waters broken. Was trying to walk around the neighbourhood of the hospital while ignoring the feeling I was wetting my pants. Black pants are your best friend!!

4 - I ended up naked at the end of both labours and I couldn't have cared less!

5 - Some midwives are AWESOME. I had a great rapport with the one who delivered ds2. She was just born to do that job you know, knew what she was doing but trusted that I did too.

6 - Keep a sense of humour. DS2 arrived so quickly that the mw was on the other side of the room preparing when he landed on the bed (my body had taken over and I could not fight the couple of pushes it took for him to be delivered). Baby was crying on the bed, I looked at DH, he looked at me, the MW was silent and then I laughed. He was then referred to as "rocket" by all the staff during our stay.

7 - Just because you see your OB through your pregnancy doesn't mean s/he will be there for delivery. Mine broke my waters, went to watch his son play basketball and by the time the game was over my baby was here

8 - You don't forget the pain but somehow in your memory it combines with the euphoria and it's all part of this one amazing experience that I count myself extremely lucky to have been through twice.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I totally agree with the above point that labour is about YOU... I wish I'd made my wants clearer, don't be afraid to speak up and make sure things are how you want them to be

 

[pachamama92]

I totally agree with the above point that labour is about YOU... I wish I'd made my wants clearer, don't be afraid to speak up and make sure things are how you want them to be

Yes I agree too. I think I will be more confident about asking questions and saying what I want this time around!

 

[Jessicahide]

First time you poop after giving birth, it feels like you are going to crap all your innerds out....

 

[zebbed89]

No body prepared me that after I had my stiches I would have to have a finger up my bum to check it hadn't gone through and there was no tears there. X

 

[redneckhippy]

This isn't necessarily true, not trying to be argumentative but I had to set an alarm with mine because they were so small which made them much more drowsy and the majority of the time wouldn't show signs of hunger-I just want moms out there to know that not all babies are not the same and it's ok to set an alarm for whatever reason you choose but especially if you have a smaller baby who may not show hunger signs...

Agreed. My LO was not able to maintain his blood sugar (so had to get IV glucose) and had jaundice, so he would just sleep if you didn't wake him to feed and even then it was difficult to keep him awake for feedings. Now though, he def lets you know haha.

I also got the night sweats like a PP mentioned. Fortunately for me, my aunt had mentioned this to me so I wans't that worried when it happened.

 

[midwife1992]

I wasn't prepared for feeling like I had be kicked in the coccyx, how painful the first 2 weeks after an episiotomy was (I would have rather gone through labour again every day but think I was unlucky as mine was very bruised and swollen, went to gp and got stronger pain killers so glad I did that), how gross it feels for first few days that every time you move you feel like a waterfall (blood obviously) is coming out of you. I also second how weird it feels to stand up for first time after giving birth.

 

[Hieveryone]

I have been told that I am likely to have broken my tailbone during labour 5 weeks ago so know about the kicked up the bum feeling!