Thinking about schools

[Feathers]

So I realise I've got a little while before I have to decide, but I'm already worrying about schools. Mostly the choice between a mainstream or a Special Needs School. I'm aware that in order to go to a Special Needs school we need a statement (well the new version of it) but that aside it's the choice that has me worrying.

My thoughts are:

Mainstream school: How will she cope? Worrying so much about bullying because she is different (I work in a mainstream Primary school so I've seen it happen and it breaks my heart to think that it could happen to her). Also how much support will she really get given my own school has suggested we don't put much time into those with SEN and focus instead on children who WILL achieve the target levels so we look better in League tables (I know it's an awful statement, and I know some other schools are similar). I just don't want her to get lost and drift because she doesn't understand / can't communicate / acts out in class. BUT there are benefits in that she would have more typical role models, be on the national curriculum. I know in a mainstream school she would drift at the bottom and the gap between children only grows bigger as they get older. By year 2 if she develops as she has so far, she will be very behind.

Special school: Would it be unfair of me to send her there? She would get a tailored curriculum and support with her issues, the staff are all trained to deal with a range of problems. I don't think being picked on would be as big an issue. But by putting her there I'll be pulling her away from mainstream education.

I honestly am not sure what to do. When I see her face already when other children don't want to work with her in playgroups and other activities it breaks my heart. She is pulling away from other children because they can't understand her and I just don't want her being different to be a daily issue for her.

Has anyone else been through this and got any advice? Or anyone else facing similar issues?

 

[mummy2o]

What we did for my son was this. He's currently 7 and just starting his special needs school after starting out in mainstream. The reason we started him off in mainstream was to see how he would cope. We were lucky that we went to the local village school and all his 'friends' went up from the pre-school so he knew who most of the children were. He had his TA giving him the 1-1 support he needed and there was no bullying towards him. In fact the complete opposite. The other children loved him and they always tried to include him as much as possible. He had a great 3 years at his primary school and got invited to lots of parties, play dates and normal things children do. Took part in sports day but had enough quiet time when needed. I won't admit he was an angel 24/7 whilst there as sometimes he did test the teachers patience but generally pretty good.

So why did we decide to move him to a special school this year? As the academic gap between him and the other children was getting bigger and bigger. He wouldn't of been able to cope long term. Plus his language is still well behind any of his peers. So we looked round some special schools and found an autistic one perfect for him. He's adjusting fine there. He goes off on the bus daily, he gets to use the computer and within the 2 weeks he's been there he's managed to learn some new life skills.

So my suggestion look around both and make the decision best for your daughter. If she starts in one and you don't feel its right for her you can always change it later on, although its easier some ways to go from mainstream to special school, but its not unheard of the other way round.

 

[sequeena]

I'm aiming for a statement (EHCP or whatever it is now) and him going into our local mainstream school which has a SEN unit.

If I don't get that and have to choose mainstream or SEN I automatically want to say SEN but I really just don't know

 

[Feathers]

See I think the gap is the thing that worries me. I suppose I'm worrying about it more because I am a teacher in a primary school and I see how it is with children, I know that if they go in behind, generally the gap gets bigger and bigger and by year 2 is really...almost too large for them to be educated with everyone else.

I guess I still keep clutching at hopes that DD is going to catch up and suddenly be exactly in line with everyone else and I know that's a ridiculous hope because I love her just as she is...I just want things to be easy for her rather than her childhood being a battle in which she's going to end up knowing she's different. I know it can't happen that everything will just ping back to the 'norm'. I guess I just have to accept how things are rather than expecting miracles that probably won't happen.

 

[mummy2o]

It can still happen. My dad was in the lower sets for everything and once he switch to secondary school he managed to get in the top sets for everything minus French and English. He had undiagnosed Autism as its genetic in our family and some people want to be tested others don't. He didn't. I expect your practicing with her at home and that's really good. Just do what is right for you both.

 

[RachA]

We chose a mainstream school for Esther. We still don't know if it's the right choice-only time will tell.
We also chose to apply for a statement.

We looked round a few schools-none were actual special needs schools but 2 had dedicated units for children with additional needs. The main thing that put us off the 2 schools was that Esther would be seperated from the 'normal' students and therefore her interaction with children who could talk would of been really limited. We felt that Esther would be better off mixing with children who could talk.

We ended up going with the school that our son goes to whilst applying for a statement. What followed was a stressful 4 months of thinking we'd made the wrong choice-mainly because if she didn't get a statement we were really worried the school wouldn't have the time/staff to help Esther.
On the first day of term we received a draft statement to say Esther had been given 27 hours 1:1 at school which is pretty much full time hours and I also spoke to the school who said they'd already employed a member of staff for full time hours even though they didn't know Esther was going to get a full time statement.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would choose mainstream school as long as they have a statement. If they have a statement the school has to employ someone specifically for the statemented child so there is less chance of the child getting behind. In Esther's year (60 children) they have a teacher and TA for each class. In addition to them there are two full time TA's employed, 1 for Esther and 1 for another child that has a statement.