Thinking of letting OH go so they can have a baby elsewhere.

[Soanxious]

Am I the only person here that is thinking after 5 mc that maybe my OH would be better off meeting someone else, someone younger that could have babies with them?

I have got to see that my OH really needs to be a dad.. and after my 5th MC and seeing the hurt in my OH eyes im thinking he would be better off with someone that can give him a child.

He has always said that he will be ok without a child... but he is supporting me on my journey to have a baby with him.. but when we get pregnant, we try not to build up hopes.. but his dreams of a child in the future slip out and I get to see that is what he needs.

 

[Button#]

From what you've described your relationship to be like I doubt it would be the same for your OH if it wasn't with you. You sound like you have an amazing relationship and hopefully the tests will show what's wrong and you'll both get your wish come true.

 

[Soanxious]

Just so fed up Button.. and I feel like I should let him get that elsewhere..I don't want to hold him back x

 

[charlie15]

But even if he went elsewhere there are never any guarantees that he would find someone else he would want to have a family with, or just because she may be younger, that they would be able to have children together.

Have you looked into getting any fertility treatment?

 

[Bushmumma]

Button is right in what she is saying, your relationship is strong and whatever your outcome may be... He loves you .. Maybe some kind of treatment will be able to assist you in growing your mini you ..
Chin up princess xo

 

[Soanxious]

Im even dreading going to my mc counselling tomorrow.. as she rang me last week to alter the time and I told her I just had a bfp 2 mins before... and now I have to tell her again.. just feeling so low x

My consultant dont seem to want to do much with me as im older with kids from previous relationship.x

 

[Bushmumma]

There's always a chance! I hope that someone is able to help you in some manner so you can carry your baby to term.. You actually don't have a problem falling pregnant it's the sticking part that needs help. I hope that you get some answers soon xo

 

[charlie15]

Im even dreading going to my mc counselling tomorrow.. as she rang me last week to alter the time and I told her I just had a bfp 2 mins before... and now I have to tell her again.. just feeling so low x

My consultant dont seem to want to do much with me as im older with kids from previous relationship.x

Can you try to find a different doctor?

I am also 41 and I had a mmc at 11 weeks last month and we are now bracing ourselves to try again. Like you I don't seem to have a problems getting pregnant. However if I have another mc, I will be heading straight to a fertility specialist. From what research I have done there are some out there who are willing to help us 40 something and under 43 there are a lot of success stories, don't give up hope x

 

[Soanxious]

Thank you Charlie.. sorry to hear about your loss too..

In Wales they are blooming well useless... and they make me feel I am wasting their time.. I am seeing my female GP Thursday and I will ask her about seeing someone else.. someone more sympathetic towards someone at my age.. see if she can look into it for me. I also got given an email address to a Consultant in Birmingham but I feel Im not ready to write down the correct way of explaining my situation without coming across a blubbering wreck yet so I will do that in a day or two..see if they know someone this way that can help me.

I hope you are able to get pregnant and end up with your bring home baby.. keep us informed.. it's nice to get support and give support to like minded people. xx

 

[charlie15]

I hope your GP can point you in the right direction. There are some sympathetic docs out there, my GP was 41 when she had her second, so they do exist. I am based in London and I know The Lister fertility clinic is great for the over 40's. I gave them a call a few months ago, just to find some info and at 41 I was described as a spring chicken, bless them! I think they may have some satellite clinics too, but not sure where, might be worth looking into to see if they have one near you?

A success story that I have of a friend of mine, is TTC for 4 years, 3 mc's all from IVF. Finally from IVF is 16 weeks pregnant with twins and she is 41

 

[Soanxious]

Thank you Charlie.. I like the spring chicken phrase LOL..

I will look into that.. thank you x

Im being tested for antiphospholipid syndrome and I have to wait the 6 weeks after a pregnancy x

 

[Tasha S.]

Soanxious: I'm so so sorry that you're experiencing your 5th consecutive mc. It's amazing how fast you're able to get pregnant though. I have friends on b&b that needed to use progesterone creams to keep a pregnancy viable during the first tri, have you ever heard of that or tried that? I also wonder if a tea called Tea For Two (it says it helps strengthen the womb) would help you. I had a mc at 7.5 weeks almost 2 years ago now. I got pregnant only 5 months later using Fertilitea (from the same company as Tea for Two), I'm sure that tea helped me conceive. I started taking the Tea for Two after I got pregnant, but skipped one day because my nausea was so bad. I started bleeding on that day, and I was sure I was re-living the experience of a mc. Then I took some tea as fast as I could and the bleeding stopped within an hour. I thought it must be a coincidence. The SAME thing happened to me two days later when I again skipped my morning tea. I don't know if I would have lost that pregnancy like my first had I not had that tea, but I don't want to ever be pregnant without that tea on hand just in case! I'll attach a photo of what the tea looks like, I know that some girls in the UK have found the teas there (I'm in Canada). All the best with whatever you decide to do! I'm praying you get your take-home rainbow baby!
https://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/pregnancytea.html

 

[Soanxious]

Thank you Tasha.. I will look into the tea

I had my progesterone tested during mc no 2 and 3 and they were counted as 26.5 and 28 so apparently my progesterone was fine.. I am however going to ask my gp for some cream to just add to it on Thursday.. but having to skip ttc this cycle to get the test done for the antibody/clotting.

Thanks once againx

 

[wantbabynow]

Hey Soanxious, I feel you sister. I am constantly thinking this about my husband; I hate myself for feeling like this but I know what you mean. You feel like you failed him every time your period comes, I can't face my husband, just the look of genuine upset on his face makes me well up every month. I always say to him find someone else it's not fair on you, men can have children way into their 50's, unfortunately us women have a much shorter shelf life. Infertility affects men so differently I have learnt, we take it very personally whereas they aren't as frustrated as us. I am sure your partner loves you very much and baby or no baby he would rather have you happy than you miserable with a baby. My husband always says "I married YOU - it's you and me first then the rest - you're the most important - without you I wont be happy even with a baby" I think all decent men think like this. Be strong and have faith in your relationship xxx

 

[Soanxious]

Thank you hun.. sorry your finding it difficult to get pregnant too.. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this but I am just very low at the moment.. but as every month goes on I feel less and less like ttc and I know he would make a great dad...

I hope you are able to get pregnant soon x

Do you take supplements? or things to help you? I have taken somethings and used things during BD and got pregnant 5 times since oct but can't seem to get a sticky baby x

 

[charlie15]

It's about the only time you want to find something wrong. If you do have anti phospholipid syndrome it's so easy to treat. And maybe a month off TTC is what you need right now any way. We are waiting until June to start TTC again.

 

[Soanxious]

Yeah I am thinking maybe I do need a month off.. just scared because of my age. my hormones probably need a break too as im all over the place.

Just had a heart to heart with OH and he is so upset that I am so upset and he said he can't keep putting me through these mc.. I said you're not putting me through the mc.. WE are trying for a baby.. I told him we wont be ttc this cycle.. so we both get a break from heartache.. and just hope I get answers by next cycle.

I hope you manage to get pregnant in June x

 

[charlie15]

I hear you about not wanting to waste a month due to age. I was tempted to give it a go this month today as I am CD 11. But I just want to make sure my hormones are all back to normal before we TTC again.

Have you had all your pregnancies one after the other? If so that's a lot to deal with but also your body just may need a cycle or 2 to reset itself.

 

[Soanxious]

I lost my 1st in Oct. didnt get pregnant Nov.. then pregnant Dec lost it Jan pregnant before af arrived lost feb.. no pregnancy march pregnant april and may lost both.

Im just hoping to get some answers asap.. my 2nd ov days will be around time I am having my bloods taken.. will ask them how soon I get results otherwise it may have to be two months of not trying and I wont be able to cope with that.

 

[charlie15]

I hope you do too. That's a lot to deal with.