This might be a little gross, sorry in advance.

[wishiwas]

After my son died, for some reason I had it in my head I would deliver by c-section because of my size and his. This was not the case, and I went on to deliver vaginally. His shoulder became stuck and it was extremely hard for them to get him out. Since he wasn't alive, I didn't think too much about it then. I know this is terrible, but three years later, I have not had a pelvic exam since. I am just too terrified of anyone coming near that area.

In the last year or so, since I've been tcc and checking my cervix, I've noticed that I have areas that protrude from my vaginal walls. It is very near the opening of my vagina now, but not visibly showing. Yet. When I was checking my cervix, I could easily push it back in. I don't know what it is, and that scares me. I don't know how this pregnancy is going to affect it, and that scares me as well.

I know that only a doctor can diagnose it, and I've finally got up the nerve to schedule an appointment for next week. I can't imagine them letting me get through this entire pregnancy without one anyway. I'm just wondering if anyone else who has given birth has noticed this too. From what I've read, it could be a vaginal prolapse, where the vaginal walls are weakened and other tissues/organs/whatever start to push through.

The level of anxiety a pap smear/pelvic exam causes me is unreal. I've attempted a couple in the past, but all I do is cry hysterically. Even if I go in there with a positive attitude, the first time I hear "scoot your butt to the edge of the table" I just start bawling.

Do you think they will allow me to deliver vaginally because of the risk of having another too large baby? If that was the cause of the bulges, I don't think it would be a good idea to deliver vaginally again.

Sorry this is so long, I've stayed up too late and now I'm worrying myself sick. I should have thought this through before I became pregnant. In my desperation to have a baby, I put off all of the fear that I knew would come with it. Now here I am, and I think it's finally sinking in what I've done.

 

[hb1]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that the physical issues you experienced have effectively left you traumatised on top of what you already have to deal with.

I don't have any advice I'm sorry - but ladies who have experienced shoulder distocia might be able to advise - I know of one lady who is also PAL who is hoping for a homebirth and had shoulder dystocia last birth.

Hope the Dr is able to advise you and that you can decide on the birth you are most comfortable with.

hx

 

[hayley x]

I would like to think you would be getting regular growth scans throughout your pregnancy to check on babys well being, there for they can monitor babys predicted weight and you will be able to discuss your options regarding delivery going by what they say... some mothers opt for a csection with their rainbow baby as they worry to get them here safely is just too much, again something you can discuss with your consultant.

Sorry I cant help regarding anything else but I want to wish you all the best with this pregnancy x

 

[Zedfaca]

I didn't suffer any injuries after my birth, but I completely understand how you feel about being examined afterwards. It is going to be hard but it's a path you need to walk down now. You can do anything you need to for your baby. I know how awful it is but believe me, it gets easier. Just get all your courage up, don't stop thinking about your baby and just go for it. It'll all be much better once you get to the other side and know what's going on.

 

[SammieGrace]

I didn't suffer any injuries after my birth, but I completely understand how you feel about being examined afterwards. It is going to be hard but it's a path you need to walk down now. You can do anything you need to for your baby. I know how awful it is but believe me, it gets easier. Just get all your courage up, don't stop thinking about your baby and just go for it. It'll all be much better once you get to the other side and know what's going on.

I must agree, it would be best to get it taken care of. Good luck hun!

 

[goddess25]

Hi I can sympathise,I had shoulder dystocia with my little man last time and 3rd degree tears. I have been left with lots of scar tissue, i have a vaginal prolapse and I have varicose veins down there too but I have been assured that these should not cause any problems with a vaginal delivery. I am planning on a homebirth although hubby is not there yet so I am suspecting we will go to the hospital.

 

[wishiwas]

Sorry ladies, just now saw the replies to this post... I brought it up to my doctor a couple of weeks ago and she said that it could be a number of things, most likely just weakened walls. I asked if that made me a candidate for a c-section and she told me that there are other reasons why I would be having a c-section, but that probably wouldn't be one of them. I'm not sure what to think about that reply, lol. On a positive note, she said she prefers not to do pelvic exams in the first trimester because of the chance of spotting. Although it's not harmful, it causes unnecessary stress to the mother. But I just wanted to thank you for your responses and support!