thought i was moving over but now i'm not so sure .....

[ellie]

well my oh and i had agreed to start ttc again this month (starting next week!) and i was sooo excited and feeling optimistic after feeling really sh*tty about it last year. however today he's in a wierd mood and starts saying things like he wants to take a sabbatical from work and maybe write or go travelling .... when i said something about maybe if 'our plan works' and i'm on maternity leave next year he could take his sabbatical then (meaning it might be a good time to re-evaluate everything whilst getting used to a new baby!) but he immediately says "oh no i don't want to spend a sabbatical sitting at home"

!!!!!

can't believe it ... is he now getting cold feet (again?) he does work very hard ... but for chrissake he's about to be 38 and i'm 37 this year, he knows full well we can't keep putting it off .... i thought he wanted to be a dad, but now i really don't know what to think or do ...... if i try and talk about it he changes the subject and i just get really weepy ........



what is it with men !!????

and we just bought a house, partly with the intention of having kids in it, is that all for nothing now ... ?

moan moan moan!!! sorry to rant .... i'm sure he will 'come round' but now i feel like i am pressuring him into something he doesn't truly want - again - this happened last time we ttc'd (but in a worse housing / stress situation than now) and i mc'd, i can't help but think he might have been relieved somehow that his cosy little rut didnt' have to be disturbed after all ..... that sounds harsh i know!

rant over - thanks for listening ..........

 

[Pops]

hun, I hope he comes to his senses soon and realises it really is decision time xxx

 

[Belgiansunset]

I'm sorry to hear things are a bit crap, I know how you feel. I suppose he's just fed up at work and in a mood, and it's made him have escape fantasies! It doesn't mean he's permanently changed his mind, he's just having a grump. Maybe wait until he's in a better mood and then calmly bring the subject up again. My advice is to do it in a restaurant so he can't get cross or walk away (that's what I did and it worked!)

If he still can't commit to it now you could always come to a compromise, eg you set a date to start trying, say in 6 months time, and he then has that time to do a bit of travelling or whatever. He has to be willing to meet you halfway and it's not fair to keep pushing the date back.

Hope you manage to sort things out soon.

 

[PinkTink]

Maybe I am about to be a little harsh, but it really is wake up time for him. As you said you're going to be 37 and him 38 he cant put it off much longer. You need to get tough and tell him to grow up. If you want to ttc then you need to start soon, if he's not ready then its maybe time for a serious chat.

sorry for being so blunt, but you cannot put off what you want as if you do it may never happen and you'll end up resenting him for it.

i hiope it all works out for you. Good luck

xxx

 

[ellie]

thanks girls ... you were right, it was escapist fantasies! when he found me in tears he was bemused (???) and said he hadn't changed his mind and still wants to ttc, he claims that i'm reading too much into what he said and can't understand why I thought that!!!

Men

Phew ... so I am moving over to ttc after all ...... what a relief!

Thanks again for listening & your responses .... good luck

 

[PinkTink]

Awh thats brill news!!!! Im really happy for you!!!!

Good Luck

xxx

 

[ellie]

i do wish he was as open about wanting babies as other people's oh's seem to be though ... i guess everyone is different, and he says is is still a bit scared about it.

sorry again to rant and hope to see you all over in ttc very soon

 

[Belgiansunset]

I'm so glad he hasn't changed his mind! Don't worry, not all OHs are that open - mine started out nagging me to have babies asap about 5 years ago but now I'm finally ready he's putting it off for as long as he can get away with! They really are a different species. Good luck TTC!

 

[Pinkgirl]

Thats great new hun, all the best xx

 

[Drazic<3]

Really pleased he hasnt changed his mind hun. These men drive you crazy, my OH is rubbish at communicating too, so i sympathise.
x

 

[lauraloo24]

Thats great news, i wish you all the best with TTC.xx

 

[leelee]

Delighted to hear you are moving over to TTC. It has taken my OH about 2 years to come around to the idea. We will be TTC'ing in March. Wishing you the best of luck!