Timing of registry, baby shower... etc???? Help?

[Lues]

If anyone can give me their thoughts here I'd appreciate it.

When do you try to have your registry done (or pretty much done) by?

And then when does someone usually start planning a baby shower?

I realize I'm not supposed to plan it. But to be honest, my mom passed a few years ago and my female relatives asked my dad and he sort of said no (he meant well, he didn't get it). It's a strange situation. So I'm probably going to have to ASK someone to throw me a baby shower.

I want to have the registry done by the time I ask them so things are as easy for them as possible. I also plan on having:

- A female contact from my side of the family that can take care of who to invite there.

- A female contact from my husband's side of the family that can take care of who to invite there.

- A list of friends that they may not know, including phone numbers.

Does this sound like a good plan? Is there other things you think I should include?

Plus.... Does it seem REALLY rude to ask this of someone? I think they'd actually like to (ya know, on some level at least), but I think they likely don't want to step on anyone's toes by taking the reigns.

I'm not sure what else to do. It's our first and we really NEED a baby shower. And there's a ton of people who would want to come. But I never had a bridal shower or bachelorette party or anything like that when I got married, no sister or mom or clear cut best friend that lives nearby, so there is sort of no one obvious to take the role.

(that's not supposed to sound sad by the way, lol, I have tons of great friends, just no one who would obviously take that role)

Any thoughts?

 

[Lues]

Hmmm.... I just realized (duh...) I could just throw it myself.

Do you think that would be better?

 

[pinkpassion]

I'm not really sure. I myself wouldn't feel comfortable asking people to throw my shower. Unless it was someone really close to me, and at that point I'd probably just mention that I'd like a shower and leave it up to them!

Why did your dad say no? Maybe you could host a (no host) celebration dinner at a local restaurant. Let people know you are registered at "place of registration" and that gifts are appreciated but not an obligation. That way it doesn't really seem like you are begging for gifts but since everyone loves to shower gifts on new mom and baby those are the things needed!!!! I don't know, that's what we are doing!!
OR maybe run it by your closest friend/family member with a "hey, I was thinking since no one has mentioned a baby shower, of doing a no host dinner celebration before baby gets here , what do you think?" That way maybe it gets them thinking that maybe they should/could throw you a shower!?

Or if you want, just throw a shower yourself!!

 

[hellojello25]

Soooo let's see:

We just finished up our registry last night, however it has been mostly complete since before the holidays, which I am completely grateful for due to the fact that I only walked around for an hour last night and had a sore bump.

My mother informed me that the baby shower is going to be on February 27th, so about a month and a half before Alex is due.

And you could throw the shower yourself, but definitely enlist people to help out. I'm stressed enough as it is between classes that I'm taking for the baby, moving, and work so I couldn't imagine planning a party on top of everything.

 

[Scout]

Why aren't the female relatives who asked your dad not doing it? I'd mention to them or my closest friend that I'd like to have one and see what they say. Or what about mil? I've never heard of throwing one yourself, but I suppose there's nothing wrong with that if you want to do it.

Start your registry now! I wasn't going to do one, but when my shower invites went out, the girls throwing my shower got call after call asking where I was registered, so I had to go do it last minute with severe spd. It was awful. Start it now and you can always add to it as you want.

I'm sure that any of your friends would love to throw you a shower. They just need to be made aware that you want one and have nobody to throw it.

 

[Lues]

thanks ladies, I appreciate the thoughts and tips!

 

[Flannz94]

In your situation, I would just throw it myself. I don't think it's a big deal if you do. Maybe you and one of your close friends could get together and plan it all together? I'm sure she would understand why? It's your first baby, and you deserve to have one, at the end of the day people just want to come and celebrate the baby and won't care who organised what.
Xx

 

[SaraVO]

My shower is in three weeks. My best friend and my mom are co-hosting it. I did choose the location. (my friends house) I have my registry mostly done I started about a month ago and went to the store once, by myself and left after half an hour and then went back a week later with my friend who was a mom and who could give me some direction. Seriously, I'm a first time mom to and I was so lost in that baby store there are a dozen different kinds of pacifiers, bottles, strollers etc. You really do need advice from someone who has been there. she also had me add things that I wouldn't even have noticed were on the shelves.

as for planning it yourself I don't really see a problem in that. It's all about perceptions anyway and people really don't really care who is planning an event that they are attending. But, maybe not hosting it at your home. Finding a different location and then, if you like asking an aunt or close friend to 'act' as host. Ie. take control during the party so that you can actually be the guest. I am super excited for mine, yes the stuff will be nice but mostly seeing everyone and having some time just to wallow in the soon to be baby.

I understand not wanting to miss out. I was not a bride, I did not have any kind of parties when I got married, I didn't want them. I just wanted it to be a simple, happy day. But, somehow with being pregnant I do want the attention, for the first time in my life. Maybe because it's not just about me anymore.

I hope you can just have a conversation with a close friend or female family member and have them take control. Remember, you are a hormonal pregnant lady, people kind of expect you to act a little out of character.

 

[awnmyown]

I'd mention to a close girlfriend what's going on. I'm sure they'd love to throw you one. Most of the baby showers I've been to have either been hosted by friends of the parents or siblings. I think it would be odd to hold one for yourself, but you could do a "Meet and Greet" where you have folks pop by your place during a couple hours in the day and serve up snack food. A lot of people will bring gifts because we all like spoiling babies That's what we do out here for second and third babies. No requirement for gifts but it's hard not to bring a little something for a newborn!

 

[Laroawan]

I have friends who threw their oen baby showers. They did it at a restaurant so no fuss about hosting or decorating.

 

[Lues]

Update:

I decided to go back and talk to my SIL (brother's wife) who had asked my Dad when he said no.

I'll tell her my Dad just didn't realize how wonderful that would be, and how much I was actually looking forward to getting to be emerged in Baby-Ness and get to see everyone.

Then I'm going to put her in touch with my girlfriend so she can feel involved too, because I know she'll want to be. (and my SIL on the other side, husband's sister, so she can help with that side of the family)

 

[KatieMK]

Update:

I decided to go back and talk to my SIL (brother's wife) who had asked my Dad when he said no.

I'll tell her my Dad just didn't realize how wonderful that would be, and how much I was actually looking forward to getting to be emerged in Baby-Ness and get to see everyone.

Then I'm going to put her in touch with my girlfriend so she can feel involved too, because I know she'll want to be. (and my SIL on the other side, husband's sister, so she can help with that side of the family)

That sounds like a great plan, and your SIL hosting make lots of sense. And if she asked your dad, she was probably interested in hosting it already!

I did my registry online on Babylist. I decided to treat it a little bit like a shopping list for ourselves... there's so much research that goes in to selecting some of this stuff! Now it's all in one place, and we can start budgeting for it and not have to think about what it is we're going to get anymore. I threw a baby shower over the summer for a friend two months before her due date, and I think doing it even a little earlier would be ideal. That way, you'd have a good idea of what you'll need to buy yourself, and a little but of time to spread out the spending. Not to mention time to set things up, wash things, return things, and get things installed!