Tips/ advice on weaning my 18 month old

[dinosaur2010]

I have a bit of time for this so not rushing but hoping to stop feeding by the end of the year so my dd2 forgets about 'booboo' by the time new baby arrives.
She feeds on demand just now. Also she feeds to sleep and about 2-3 times in the night. I know she can go without through the day as I work part time but I'm away for 9 hours at a time.
Just after any tips you may have on how to start and Also what kind of time scale I should make the transition!
Thanks!!

 

[Literati_Love]

Have you tried night weaning? It is hard but I feel like since it interferes with sleep it is good to get over with.

During the day, I find it relatively easy to lengthen time between feeds by offering more frequent snacks, water, and filling meals. I'm not sure on what timeline to try but I would say just try dropping one feed and see how your child responds. You may find it quite easy to wean, or perhaps you will drop to just 1-2 feeds and find it so manageable that you'll
Continue a while longer. Good luck!

 

[kksy9b]

It took us 6 weeks to wean my son at 17 months. Honestly, we started off slow and had my husband put him to bed without nursing (making sure he got a snack before bed so he wasn't hungry). The first time he would wake up (30-90 min later), I would get him and feed him. Then we had him go 5-7 hours without eating (depending on how he was doing). When he woke up in between, my DH would go and rock him back to sleep. The first few nights were really rough. But then he got the clue that mom wasn't going to go and get him and started sleeping through/self soothing during that time.

After a week or so he was used to the new routine and stopped waking up for that early night feeding and would sleep through to morning (hallelujah!). He was transitioning at the time to one nap so the next one we stopped at was morning nap. After a few days he was used to that and we dropped when he would wake up (this brought us down to just once a day, before afternoon nap). This was the hardest one for us because he would wake up SO hungry. I just made sure to make a big breakfast right away and he would be happy (for a bit, we had to give him a cereal bar/cheerios/etc while breakfast was cooking).

All of that happened in about 2 weeks. The last feeding took a month. We were at once a day for a week. Then he missed a nap one day and was fine without nursing, but the following day was wanting it again. So we went to every other day for 2 weeks. Pushed it to every 3 days for a week and a half or so. Then went 4 days, offered and he wanted nothing to do with it and we were done.

I am really glad we took a gradual approach to make it less emotional and stressful for both of us.

Like the pp said, take things very slow, allow time to adjust and don't rush something if it doesn't feel right. Remember also that your LO still needs the bonding time and closeness with you. Instead of nursing, maybe read a book and snuggle together so she doesn't feel like she is losing milk and one on one time.

Best of luck hun and congratulations on making it so long!

 

[dinosaur2010]

Currently on day 3 of no day feeds so we've been going 12-13 hours with no feeds during the day and we have a new saying 'booboo is for bed'
I'm going to try this for a few weeks and then start on the night feeds!
So far it's hard work as I have to have distraction methods in place or be prepared for her being moany and crying a lot more than she did! But I'm keeping at it!

 

[kksy9b]

Way to go!! You are doing fabulous!

 

[dinosaur2010]

I've had 2 occasions that I gave in but it was just going so against my instinct but apart from that it's going so well and she rarely asks for it now and if she does and I say 'no' she's fine with it!
Now if only the night feeds can stop in such a stress free manner!! We'll find out in a month or 2!!

 

[Literati_Love]

I'm glad it's going so well. If you're interested, I followed this person's plan on night weaning and found it very gentle (unfortunately, she has regressed since from being sick but hoping we can get her back on track soon):
https://attachedtoparenting.com/2013/05/18/how-i-night-weaned-in-7-days/

 

[c1403]

Just wondering how you are getting on with your weaning? My DD is 14 months and ideally I'd like to start cutting down on BF. She nurses 2-3 times at night and several times during the day (although when I at work she goes much longer without).
I kind of want to reduce to a morning and bedtime feed, as not sure I want to completely wean. DD nurses a lot for comfort or habit rather than actual full feeds.
What sort of distraction techniques have worked and what snacks do you over etc. I've tried singing songs and getting a toy and she always grabs my clothesline moaning until I give in

 

[dinosaur2010]

Just wondering how you are getting on with your weaning? My DD is 14 months and ideally I'd like to start cutting down on BF. She nurses 2-3 times at night and several times during the day (although when I at work she goes much longer without).
I kind of want to reduce to a morning and bedtime feed, as not sure I want to completely wean. DD nurses a lot for comfort or habit rather than actual full feeds.
What sort of distraction techniques have worked and what snacks do you over etc. I've tried singing songs and getting a toy and she always grabs my clothesline moaning until I give in

My dd was the same- it was getting out of hand, sometimes she'd be feeding every half hour.
It was about 2-3 days of hard work and a lot or crying but after that she just stopped asking for it unless she was tired- now she doesn't ask for it at all which is great, but she'll have a squeeze of them and say 'booboo' but she's not asking for it- just pointing out that's what they are!
I just started saying to her 'boo boo is for bed' and she was surprisingly adaptable- I think at the age they are they are definitely ready to cut down as they are interested in the world and don't really need it anymore.
I distracted her with books, toys etc trying to make them really exciting hence the hard work! I also said 'booboo is for bed but I can give you a cuddle'. Now, my dd just comes up for random cuddles and I sense this would be when she would normally want booboo !
I'm yet to tackle the night feeds which I intend to do over the next month or 2 (hopefully fully weaned by xmas anyway) so I'll keep you posted. Good luck!

 

[noon_child]

Have you tried night weaning? It is hard but I feel like since it interferes with sleep it is good to get over with.

Yes it interferes with parental sleep but it isn't the cause of infant night waking. Any infant night waking whether for a feed, a cuddle or just to know you are there interferes with parental sleep. My LO continued to wake and cry for me for 6months after she self weaned.

Yeah it's good to find out if your LO is calling for boob out of habit rather than need (and by need I include emotional need not just nutrition), which is why some babies sleep appears to improve after night weaning (as they stop seeing the point in calling out) but I'm a strong believer that if a baby/child accepts weaning it's because they are ready for it, and if they don't then its because they aren't ready. Not to say you can't or shouldn't do it - because mum is a person too and I was starting to go out of my mind a little - and there are gentle ways to encourage them, however I just that it is a leap to say it is breastfeeding that interferes with sleep when I think it's just children!!!

I quite liked some of the techniques in the "no cry sleep solution" as it is kinda all based on testing in tiny steps what your child might already be ready for and ensuring there are positive associations to all the steps of separation.

 

[Literati_Love]

I didn't say night weaning would make her baby STTN or anything. There are lots of causes for night wakings. But she is planning on FULLY weaning, meaning night AND day, so I was suggesting she might want to night wean sooner because that potentially could help with sleep. Of course she can do her own thing and of course nursing isn't the only reason babies wake up in the night. From my own experience and stories from others, night weaning has aided in reducing wake-ups (not removing them altogether). I'm sure that isn't the case for everyone and I wasn't saying that. I am all for gentle parenting techniques and am all for sacrificing sleep if that's what your baby needs. It was just a suggestion.

 

[noon_child]

Sorry. I think I misinterpreted your post...it's been one of those days (talking to ladies who have had health professionals tell them night feeding their 7month old will cause bad habits and are now confused, guilty and panicked) and I didn't do my usual pre-post read through.

 

[Literati_Love]

No prob, noon_child. I think we're both actually on the same page.

Stupid about what those health professionals said!

 

[dinosaur2010]

Just an update here-
Yesterday I was putting dd to bed and she was feeding and it began to get irritating so I took my boob away and sang her to sleep- it took a bit longer but she eventually gave in. Then she woke up 3 times through the night- the first 2 times I let her suck for a few seconds then took it away and rubbed her tummy and sang her to sleep, the 3rd time I said 'booboo is finished' she fussed about for less that a minute then gave in to my song and tummy rub
Then normal time wake up! So pleased I can't quite believe how well it went- I'm prepared for a bit more of a challenge tonight maybe but this proves she doesn't need it to get to sleep and this was way less wake ups than the night before when she was getting boob!!
So pleased!!

 

[Literati_Love]

Wow, that's amazing! She took to that very well! Sounds like she was just ready! Hope tonight goes even better.

 

[dinosaur2010]

So far she's gone to sleep like a dream! Asked once for booboo and I said 'no it's all finished' she just kind of cuddled in and didn't bother asking again!
She's had one wake up as my older daughter's up crying with a nightmare but not even asked for it I just cuddled her in and sang again
She is obviously ready for this which is even more encouraging for me, plus my poor boobs are so sore and swollen with the pregnancy now that I need a break!!

 

[dinosaur2010]

Ok so just another update- I think I've officially stopped breastfeeding!
There were only 2 wake ups last night and they took half the time and effort of the first night- dd is still snoring away beside me so already having a lie in too which must mean she's happy with this decision too
I remember with weaning my first dd my dh completely took over at night for a week while I went to the spare room. While it was quite easy, I was then left with trying to get her to sleep with no idea how and I was so emotional about the whole transition
This time I feel like I've done it all myself and I feel really positive about it all!! I was so anxious about starting this whole process and its surprised me all the way!
So I've got 5 months break now before it all starts again with a newborn!
Thanks for all your support

 

[kksy9b]

What a great update! I'm glad you were able to transition gradually and smoothly. Enjoy your break!