Tips for timing - FTM desiring natural hospital birth

[New_Wife]

This might get a little confusing, but I'll try my best to explain my situation.

Problem 1: My husband is military a spends several days on his ship at a time. The ship doesn't leave the dock during these days, but the stairs to the ship are taken away so that noone can leave the ship. If I call and speak to his superiors and tell them I am in labor, they will let him leave, however, getting the stairs set back up so that he can leave will be quite the time consuming fiasco.

Problem 2: I have essentially been in early labor since around 20 weeks. I get regular, painful contractions every single night. So when something changes from that norm, I will surely be in established labor. Not usually a problem for a first time mom, right? But my mother and grandmother dilate quickly once active labor hits. They both spent less than two hours going from 2/3 cm to pushing in all of their pregnancies.

Problem 3: I am a loner and we have no family here. My one friend that could take me to the hospital is 45 minutes away.

I would really like to have a natural birth, so I want to stay home as long as possible while laboring. Everyone says, when you're in labor, you'll know. But I am terrified that I'll end up giving birth at home alone if I go into labor when my husband is on his ship. I'm also afraid that by the time I realize 'this is it' I may not be able to communicate well via phone, and my husband will be unreachable through texts, etc.

So, any advice on what to do or look out for? I would probably have to wait 1-2 hrs for my husband to be able to pick me up. Should I have a friend stay with me? How long is too long to wait and see what happens? After all these nights of contractions, I worry that I'll be in denial for several hours at first. Argh. Just worrying

 

[Quest55]

Is there any way you can stay with your friend while your husband is away? You really don't need the stress of worrying! maybe you can hire a doula that can be with you to stay at your home to labor until its time to go to the hospital? I know I plan on doing this so I can have a natural delivery at the hospital. I am worried about the drive while in the advanced stages of labor, but I will at least have a doula with me to comfort me as much as possible.

 

[berniegroves]

Try not to stress to much honey. There are a lot of 'what if's' in your message. You could just as easily go into labour when husband isn't in the ship and your labour could last linger than 3 hours.
I understand wanting to be prepared.
Can your friend stay with you? Or you with her?
As quest suggested could you hire a doula? As then you would have someone else to be with you.
Don't worry about making a phone call during labour. I promise if its necessary you will be able to do it.
And yes I'm sure you'll know when active labour starts.
Hugs honey.
Xx

 

[wishfulone]

I think a doula or midwife would be great for you!!

 

[Amygdala]

I wouldn't rely too much on "you'll know". I went to hospital in what I thought was active labour and was only 2cm and sent home. When I came back I was 7! My friend was the opposite and didn't realise she was in active labour, arrived at the hospital at 10cm, half an hour before baby was born. I'm not trying to worry you, just saying that if you're unsure, especially if you're alone, phone or go to the hospital. Don't be too worried about arriving early either, you can still have a natural birth even with more time spent in hospital. Try taking some "home comforts" (a blanket, cushion etc). They'll make you feel more secure and help you relax even in hospital.
Could you phone around taxi companies and find one that would take you if necessary? If at the time you are worried that you don't have enough time, you can always phone an ambulance which should get you medical attention very quickly.
You'll be just fine. I understand your worries, I had the same ones, but you'll work it out somehow. All the best for the birth!

 

[PepsiChic]

with my first son I had a natural hospital birth heres my timeline:

- My husband was workign 30 minutes away, when I had my first contraction I waited and timed a few more. they were 9 minutes apart. I called my husband and told him to be prepared. I took a shower - if the contractions stop i knew it wasnt quite time, if they were the same or closer together i knew it was time.

-after my shower they were 6 mintues apart. I called him again and told him to head home.

-my husband came home and we ate dinner. I called my obgyn.

-when my contractions were 4 minutes apart we left for the hopsital which was over an hour away, took about an hour an 15 to get there.

-when we arrived my contractions were 2 minutes apart, i was 8cm dilated and 100% effaced

- 2 hours later I was ready to push, 20 minutes of pushing Barry was born

first contraction: 11:45pm - Barry was born at 6:38am

Connors birth - my contractions went from 9 minutes apart to 1 minute apart in 3 hours and we made it 10 minutes down the road and i gave birth in the front seat of the truck after 2 minutes of pushing....