Tips to get baby to sleep in her bassinet?

[Kiram]

I’m a FTM and I’ve been co-sleeping with my 2 week old DD since the day she was born...I know letting her sleep in my arms all night is dangerous, but it’s the only way I can get her to sleep. I really don’t want to do this, but she absolutely refuses to sleep anywhere else. Last night I changed her, swaddled her, BF her to sleep, then tried to put her in the bassinet...but she immediately woke up and began crying nonstop. I would pet her head and talk to her to try to calm her down and let her know I’m still there, but it didn’t do justice. I then tried to just let her “cry it out”, but eventually i couldn’t keep fighting every instinct within me and I gave in and held her in my arms all night again.
This can’t go on forever, but I don’t know what to do! It’ll be best for all of us if she can learn to sleep on her own, but it breaks my heart to go a “tough love” route, and I’ve heard a lot of experts discourage that, too.

I really think part of the problem is back-sleeping. She’ll always wake up and fuss if she’s on her back, even if I’m holding her. I’m not very comfortable with putting her on her stomach to sleep (frankly I don’t think that’s any better than co-sleeping) but I tried it the other day—with supervision—and she slept in the bassinet for a good 30-45 mins...she even woke up at one point, but dozed back to sleep on her own without making a huge fuss.
I just can’t figure out how to establish safe sleeping habits without putting any of us through an emotional hell

 

[LoraLoo]

I wouldn't let her cry at this age hun. She settles with you because you provide her with comfort. If she stops crying when you pick her up, it's because you're meeting her needs, nothing wrong with that. Does she have a dummy? If not-
You could see if that helps? There are a few things you can do to help her sleep in her moses basket- you could put in an item of clothing that smells of you, you can also place a hot water bottle in the basket before you lay her in it, so it's warm, you can also try raising the head of the moses basket.
If you are going to co sleep then it's important to do it safely, much better to do it planned than fall asleep shattered with her in your arms because she could roll off.
Make sure no pillows, no duvet over baby , no alcohol and it should go hubby, you then baby, not baby in the middle. I dont think I'd ever have got any sleep if we didn't co sleep!

 

[willowblossom]

Firstly don't worry it will happen! . My lad only slept on my or hubbys chest for the first couple of weeks. I would put him in his cot at various times in the day while he was awake and happy, then after a week of that he would then go in his cot when we went to bed (he would be asleep already) then when he woke for his first night feed he would co sleep the rest of the night. Now I can feed him at night and put him back in with no fuss 90% of the time! (he is 7 weeks now)
His cot is next to our bed with one side taken off so I think that helps also. Congratulations on tm your baby! Xx

 

[MindUtopia]

It's entirely possible to safely co-sleep with her close to you, but you shouldn't be sitting up, holding her and sleeping. Do you have a partner around? When my first was small, she would only be held to sleep for the first 6 weeks, so we did the night in shifts. I went to bed at 7pm after feeding her and slept until 1am while he stayed awake and held her (with one waking for a feed in between, usually around 10pm, then I'd go back to sleep after). Then we'd switch and I'd do 1-6am while he slept. Unless your partner is a pilot or a surgeon, they will not self destruct on 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night while tending to baby the rest of the time.

Beyond that, I would find ways to safely co-sleep with your baby in bed or attach a cot to your bed so she has her own sleeping space next to you. Mine absolutely would never sleep in a basket. She did once for 20 minutes at about 2 weeks old and that was it. But we did safely bedshare for 2+ years and it was lovely and easy and we all got plenty of sleep that way. Do some research on safe co-sleeping and see if you can adjust your bed to make it safe and if she'll sleep next to you. Side sleeping is generally fine at this age as long as the sleeping space is safe and you are keeping an eye on her. Mine always slept on her side facing me, but we did it very carefully.

 

[Witchrose]

I have a different POV and experience from the other posters here. We actually did do CIO with our son with great results. Granted, he was a very calm baby to begin with, but we did find that on the nights when he wouldn't sleep, that if we went to him and gave him more hugs, etc, it just made everything worse. But if we gave him the chance to settle on his own, he would. And he would sleep well, waking up calm and happy. And since we were able to sleep okay, we were in a much better mental, emotional, and physical condition to take care of him than if we were sleep deprived.

Some things that we found helped was to have a little light on, and to have noise on in the room. Rather than music, he liked anything with voices. So we would play audiobooks, podcasts, even old time radio drama shows that they have on YouTube.

I'm not saying you should CIO. You should, of course, only do what feels right for you. I just wanted to give an experience from the other side.

 

[cupcake.]

when my daughter was that little we used a cosleeper, kind of like a „balcony“ to our bed. But still she often didn‘t want to sleep in there and I ended up sleeping on my side with her in my arms. I soon realized she liked sleeping on her side so we started to use rolled towels underneath her fitted bedsheet to keep her on her side and that helped a lot.

Nights started to get better soon but she would still often start out in her cosleeper and after the first night feed be back in my arms. I am an extremely light sleeper so i knew it was safe for us that way - i dressed warmer and ditched my duvet though.
There are safe ways to cosleep, and also there are babies who just prefer sleeping on their tummies. I still know how it feels to be scared of sids, but tummy sleeping is „just“ one risk factor - out of many many others and if you eliminate as many as you can, i would let her sleep on her tummy.
You could also get one of those angelcare mats. They detect movements, even the slightest movement coming from a breathing baby, giving off an alarm as soon as no movement is recorded. That might give you some peace of mind when your baby sleeps on her tummy?

She is only two weeks old, that is still so very little that I would not let her cry. All it does really is giving all of you heartache. I‘m not against sleep training, I did sleep train my daughter to an extent (not full on CIO but there was some crying sometimes) but there comes a time when sleep training is possible and even beneficial but two weeks old is not that time yet, as you instinctly knew as well.

So maybe you can find safe ways to prop her to her side and see if she sleeps better like that? Or if an angel care mat can give you enough peace of mind to let her sleep on her tummy.

 

[Witchrose]

I wanted to add that we didn't have him CIO a two weeks. That came later.

I would say to just try to get through this beginning stage. As you get to know your child you'll start to recognize different kinds of cries, and start learning different things that work, or don't work with them. And you'll feel more confident. For instance, it was easier for us to be like, "No. Let's not go in there again. Let's let him just try to fall asleep on his own," when we knew he wasn't crying because he was hungry or something.