Tired of trying to conceive

[summerlovin21]

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years now and I'm starting to get tired of it. I know people say "Don't think about it and it will happen" but I've found it to be entirely impossible when I get that one reminder every month that we didn't succeed. My husband and I are happy in our marriage our trying to get pregnant and failing doesn't seem to affect our relationship as much as it affects us individually. Of course every time I get my monthly I cry or eat excessively just to numb the pain a bit and at the end of the day the void in my heart of wanting another child isn't filled.
I am 26 years old. I do have 2 children and he has 1. I know what your thinking "you should be happy with what you have" and I am. I just want to have one together.
So here's a little info about my fertility. I've been checked out. I've had ultra sounds and blood tests. All have came back normal but I haven't had anymore tests since then. As for my husband. He has a low sperm count. I always thought it may be him but was never sure until we received confirmation from the doctor. It was upsetting but it was also a relief like now we know the problem, now lets fix it. Yeah, not so easy. His doctor put him on Clomid. He's been on it for a while now and it hasn't help. I know this because I'm still not pregnant haha. So after months and months of trying on that, I've started to think, maybe it is me too? I never thought it could be possible because I've already had two kids but maybe it is? I kept thinking back to when I went to the doctors for infertility the first time about how he had said that sometimes when women who have had children by C-section, they can develop scars on their ovaries. Hmm maybe that's why?
My periods are normal they come every 26-28 days. Lasting anywhere from 3-4 days. Lucky right? They've been this way since my last baby 7 years ago. I have had a few ovarian cysts but not enough to alarm me and I do have period cramps but nothing abnormal. So I started searching the interweb taking every infertility quiz out there and of course it all led to cancer which I don't have but I do know there has to be a reason..
So here I sit with what I think is pms. Horribly painful breasts that feel like rocks. 3 days until my period is set to begin and thinking "is this the month"? Is the red monster going to rear her ugly head and come back?.. I hope not...

 

[kiwilove]

Im sorry your having such a tough time
I couldn't imagine how frustrating this is not having any answers
I have pcos so I know what is keeping me from falling pregnant.
Have you tracked your ovulation with bbt(basal body temp) this would help you recognize your LP(time between ovulation and period) if you have fewer days then normal this could be the reason why your not falling pregnant...and there would be things you could take to lengthen your LP. Also when I went for blood work it was all normal...the second time around doing blood work it was NOT normal, so maybe ask if you can get blood work taking again...I wish you lots of luck and
Remember in the end this will all be worth it!!! That's what keeps me going.

 

[nikinabox]

I'm so sorry to hear how frustrated you are. I can only imagine. I haven't been TTC as long, but it has been awhile, so I understand.

It's so easy for everyone to say things like "just relax and it will happen" or "stop worrying about it" - people LOVE saying these things, like it's easy, right? I think somewhere in their twisted minds they believe it makes us feel better.

As negative as I can get, I'm trying to remain positive, which is so difficult to do. A friend once told me that when you're sitting there with your baby in your arms, and you reflect on your time TTC, you'll know what you were working towards, and it will be so worth it. You'll even might be willing to do it all again. So don't lose hope!

 

[Heatherlt]

I completely understand. It's been over 3 years since my first loss, and we've been TTC since we were cleared from that. My husband and I have two children together and I seemed to have no problem getting pregnant. I got pregnant in Oct 2008, had a baby July 2009, pregnant again Jan 2010, had a baby Sept 2010, got pregnant again Dec 2010 and lost it in Jan 2011. We were pretty fertile.. and then something (really nothing) happened. And I couldn't get pregnant at all. And I still can't get pregnant. This many years later and still nothing.

I got some testing done and a few hormones are off, but not hugely so. I don't have PCOS, my tubes are clear, etc. AND, my husband has a great sperm count.

I am SO SO tired of TTC. My very soul aches for a third child. I really completely understand.