TMI - but my OH has gone off me *UPDATE* Page 2 :D:D

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Charlotteee, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    Arrrgh, we've not had :sex: in 2 months. And im getting a little frustrated now.

    I bought really nice underwear and he's just not interested!!!

    He said if you dont like it i know what to do - as in find someone else!

    I just want to feel close to him again :cry:

    His excuse - im just not up for it right now. Two months?!

    Sorry for the TMI just needed to vent xxx
     
  2. SugarKisses

    SugarKisses Luv my 3 miracle's

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    Oh hun, dont know what to say but im sorry :hugs2: x x x
     
  3. stephwiggy

    stephwiggy Well-Known Member

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    i had this issue with my oh to some extent - and i sat him down and tbh threatened to leave and he broke down and said how scared he was of hurting me and it happening again ....

    Not suggesting you threaten to leave him but maybe he is feeling the same...
     
  4. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    No hes said that since i got pregnant a lot changed for him. Basically i forgot my pill and we got caught. It annoys me thoguh because he won't wear a condom - it ruins the pleasure :shrug:

    Argh i hate men. And if i threatened to leave he'd just let me walk xxx
     
  5. SugarKisses

    SugarKisses Luv my 3 miracle's

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    Urgh, men! More trouble than they are worth sometimes hun. If he would just let you walk then he really isnt worth it babe. I know its hard because you love him and want to be with him...but is it worth staying with someone who wouldnt be bothered if you left?

    I should listen to my own advice. Im in a similar situation with my OH. I fell preg in Sep 07-totally unexpected as I had no period for 2 years (and like your OH...he wont wear a condom because it doesnt feel as good) and then when I fell pregnant he wanted me to get rid and everything....turns out I didnt need to (not that I would) because we lost her at 25 weeks preg.
    Ive since fell preg again and hes been the same this time round as he was last time...he doesnt want this baby and hes gutted Ive fallen pregnant.....and now we are not on speaking terms because we just are not getting on well at all and I dont even think he cares? Sorry I turned that around about me....
    But I really do hope you can sort things out. Sit him down and talk and see what it is that he wants? x x x
     
  6. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    No its fine i dont mind you sharing your worries :)

    And he just tells me to stop being such a sex controlled hormonal teenager - Fare enough i'm 18, he's 21. We should be at it like rabbits!!!

    He says he wants to be with me, he's just not good at showing emotions. He expected me to get over the miscarriage after a week!!

    I just want someone to love me. Make me feel loved. And don't mean to sound harsh, but sweetheart what are you doing with someone who doesn't even want his own child, and your not talking??
    xxxx
     
  7. SugarKisses

    SugarKisses Luv my 3 miracle's

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    Totally agree....you should be at it like rabbits hun. You shouldnt be able to get enough of each other and even if you didnt want the sex...he should, hes a man ffs! lol

    Your not being some hormonal teenager...you havnt had sex for 2 months...no the wonder you want it! Its never simple is it hun?

    Lol....dont ask what im doing with him. I dont know myself at times. I just love him...even after everything. But believe me, at times I really wish I didnt and I could just let him go!
     
  8. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    Yeah i know that feeing. Like i want to be on my own but i know how much it will hurt to leave him.

    He just says a relationship shouldnt be based on sex. Pftttt - no but it should be based on romance!!
     
  9. veganmum2be

    veganmum2be 1 Son two angels.

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    aw hun.
    somethings not right there, what man doesn't want sex for that long!
    unless hes scared of you getting pregnant again?
    and relationships shouldn't be based on sex, but no sex for 2 months?!
    and if he expected you to get over lily in a week, then he must be over it?
    so why wouldn't he want sex?

    i think you should have a talk with him.
    me and my OH havent had sex sinse very early november cos when i found out i was preg we were worried about risk to baby, and after we lost bean we didn't feel like it, and now although we want sex we cant because i'm still bleeding. argh!

    and age has nothing to do with it, i'm 19, just, and OH is 21 but if your in a serious relationship at any age sex should be a part of it.
    hope its sorted soon :hug:
     
  10. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    I said last night i have needs!! And to be honest, im frustrated.

    And he said when i learnt to overcome my frustration then he'll think about it :growlmad:

    So when i hopped in the shower i sent him a lovely picture :wink:

    And he seemed to like that. I think we just need to inject some spice :D

    Thankyou ladys.

    And Bexx yeah - he's scared of that too. He thinks im just not going to take my pill on purpose. Which i'm not at all.

    We've agreed to wait until 2011 when he leaves uni - which is fair enough and im happy to wait. I can spend the next year doing what a teenager should be doing. I only turned 18 in August so i havent had much clubbing time :)

    xxxxx
     
  11. smidgen

    smidgen Mummy 2 Finlay & 4 angels

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    hey lottybump - don't really know what to say hon - sorry. We've not had sex since i fell pregnant as we were scared to in case i lost another bubba - but it happened anyway. Obviously just had d & C yesterday so sex is furthest thing from my mind...........
     
  12. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    I hope your feeling ok hun. :dohh: of course not, what a stupid question. My thoughts are with you xxxx
     
  13. mrskcbrown

    mrskcbrown Wife & mom of 3

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    I cant imagine the pain that you fel but 2 months is a very long time for a couple who usually have sex to not have sex. Have you noticed other changes in him? Maybe you all need to have a heart to heart so that you can get to the bottom of the "real" issue! GL and Im praying for you!
     
  14. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    He's still fine with me in every other way, he just says he's scared to get me pregnant again, as the one we had MC with i forgot my pill and it was unplanned. And he said he caused it, like he fertilised the egg. So i think thats whats scaring him xxx
     
  15. bbb2009

    bbb2009 WTT after ectopic

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    sorry you're dealing with this. you know, sometimes men just really do have a rough time with a MC and dealing with their own emotions. i think at times they feel that the woman is the one that is entitled to grieve and have emotions about what happened. and, we are always told that it is okay & normal for us to have mixed emotions, from anger to jealousy to sadness, etc. but, they are not given the same allowance. maybe he's just really scared and he can't admit that to you just yet...
     
  16. Charlotteee

    Charlotteee Married Mum/Stepmum of 4

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    We did it!!!!! Yaaaaayyyy :happydance: woooooo :):):):)

    I went round and just kind of dived on him :rofl:

    And it was amazing :blush:

    Woooo - i'm so happy right now hehe

    xxx
     
  17. veganmum2be

    veganmum2be 1 Son two angels.

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  18. smidgen

    smidgen Mummy 2 Finlay & 4 angels

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    good on yah girl! hope it was worth the wait :winkwink::winkwink:
     
  19. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    LOL yeah hope it was extra magical ;)
    Seriously, really pleased for ya :)
     
  20. BeanieBaby

    BeanieBaby Well-Known Member

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    Just caught up with your thread, sounds like you've done the deed now so no need to advise! Really pleased you're both ok. xxx
     

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