To Any BNB member Who has suffered a Miscarriage at Over 35

[LucindaE]

Hello, Lovely Ladies! to any of you who are feeling very bereft and downhearted now.

I hope you don't mind me intruding here to say that I think a lot of information about the chances of conception and the chances of conveiving easily after miscarriage in women over 35 are unduly pessimistic.

Some medical people - not all of them- do seem to take a very negative view about 'old eggs' and I heard quite a lot of that when I suffered a miscarriage at one month under the age of forty, particularly from some - again not all - of the nurses who seem to take overall a more dismal view to the doctors about fertility in older mothers.

After suffering the sadness of having a missed miscarriage - it had taken five cycles to conceive - I conceived my daughter - now school aged - the next month, around the time of my fortieth birthday. Do not believe all the 'older woman are so infertile' arguements. I am just one of many I have encountered.


All Good Luck to You All

 

[truly_blessed]

thanks for your story Lucinda. I was pregnant with my first at age 39 but I found out at the 12 week scan it was a blighted ovum and didn't develop past 5 weeks. I spent my 40th recovering from the D&C (although I was in New York so it kind of makes up for it a bit). The D&C was 23rd nov and I'm just having first (very painful) AF now. I'm hoping to start TTC in march so your story gives me hope .x

 

[Hoolie]

I had my first child at 36. Everything went okay and she is a healthy 3 year old. I'm now 39 and lost a baby in July/August. We started trying straight after first my period and we conceived first month of trying and am now 15 weeks pregnant (fingers crossed).



Alex

 

[Rumpskin]

I am 38 and have had 3. We have our first referral for recurrent miscarriage on 27th of this month xxx

 

[lauraperrysan]

just wanted to say dont let dr's make you think it is just your age....i'm only 22 and i have had 5 miscarriages in the last 2 years. it can be due to plently of other things than just age.
this country doesn't really know when it wants women to reproduce. Looked down on for being a young mother and then made to feel your too old....when is right mr govenment lol xxxx

 

[Hoolie]

I ada conversation at my MW appointment about have a tubal ligation at the same time as my Ceassearian section if I opt for a cesearian this time round. The midwife advised against it as she said that circumstances can chnage your mind. I pointed out to her my age and she said that the oldest mother she had cared for was 57 years old and she had a beautiful healthy little girl.

She was a fab MW and I won't be opting for a ligation after our conversation.

Alex

 

[LucindaE]

I am 38 and have had 3. We have our first referral for recurrent miscarriage on 27th of this month xxx

So sorry, Rumpskin - that is tough. Don't give up believing that it will all come right for you. to you, if you will accept them.

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. Glad if I have made anyone feel more positive. Yes, medical people can be disapproving if they think you are not the perfect age, according to their rules either too young or too old.
Miscarriage may be common, but it is so bitter and disappointing when it happens.

As many to all of you as you wish in the future!

XXX to you all.
Lucinda

 

[tiggerlix]

im 35 and pregnant..my m/w didnt seem that concerned about my age,she was more concerned with change of partner

 

[fluffyblue]

im 37 and have had 6 losses - 5 MC and 1 ectopic since i was 35!

The eqq quality does start depleting after a certain age however this does not cause miscarriage it just may take longer to conceive !!

My last appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic I asked about my age and she told me 60% of the women registered with the clinic are over 35. I do think there is some attribute to age however I would never class it as a cause !!

thanks for your info xxx

 

[truly_blessed]

ah Heather so 40% are under 35 and still registered with the clinic. my glass is well and truly half full, literally tonight x

 

[fluffyblue]

ah Heather so 40% are under 35 and still registered with the clinic. my glass is well and truly half full, literally tonight x

I think becuase at my RMC they accept women who have had 2 losses if they are over 35 so i think there is always going to be a higher ratio of older ladies !

And mines full of stella lol !

 

[SmileyShazza]

Thanks for posting this. When I suffered our missed miscarriage my immediate thought was that at 35 it was due to some kind of problem with my eggs and that all the stories I had read and seen on the news about it being harder over the age of 35 to conceive were tru.

When we went to the hospital to complete the forms for my D & C I asked the midwife who we saw about it as I was concerned and she said at 35 I was still a spring chicken and that they have lots of women over 40 who have babies.

Personally I was not in a position before now where I felt I wanted to bring a child into the world. I do think that sometimes the government scare people into having children before they really want to because of all these stories you read and hear.

I have come to the conclusion now that our mmc could have not been anything to do with my age at all, at the end of the day we will probably never know what caused it but all we can do is think positively and try again. Hopefully next time our bean will be a strong healthy and sticky one.

Good luck to all the ladies out there who are over 35 and TTC. I'm sending you all a sprinkling of but if you don't mind I have kept a little back for us too

 

[truly_blessed]

ah Shazza, here's some of mine for you too hun. I'm relying on you getting BFP before me to keep me going whilst I'm waiting xx

 

[sue247]

I am 36 and i do worry that i have left it too late! I had my first at 33 and got pregnant easily. Now i am 36 it took ages to get pregnant and then i have a MMC. Although I hear that mc happens to women of all ages I do worry that my eggs are old and therefore there is a higher chance that there will be somehing wrong with them! On the other hand i know many women older than me who conceived and had no problems at all in their pregnancy. Hoping that this is our year!

 

[MrsJD]

I'm 39 and have been pregnant 6 times since May 2008. My old eggs can conceive but I had natural killer cells so they killed my babies.

I'm lucky to have received private treatment and I'm now 21 weeks pregnant!

X

 

[LucindaE]

Thank you all you lovely ladies who contributed to the thread about miscarriage and pessimism amonst medical people about the fertility of woman tottering along at the advanced age of 35+.

Best of luck Sue247, Mrs JD, LauraPerrysan, Trulyblessed, Fluffyblue, SmileyShazza and everyone. Sorry if I have missed any names out, I scrawled on a piece of paper, but my handwriting is terrible! My thoughts are with you all. Some of you have had several miscarriages and I thought that one was upsetting enough. You deserve every success this year after what you have been through, ladies.

I'm not saying that medical staff intend to be discouraging or hurtful - they undoubtedly believe that they are advising women in everyone's best interests.

As you have said, many of them are far from negative anyway- but there do seem to have been a lot of scare stories in the media over the last few months which I thought might have made some women feel discouraged, so I wanted to point out that all is not gloom and doom.

Best of luck in your baby making plans for 2010!

XX Lucinda

 

[Livia]

Count me in, as I'm 36... Once having read too many "age warnings" I looked up statistics... the Australians ones were quite nice. Plenty of mothers over 35 and quite a lot over 40. If all those people could make it so could we!

 

[WannaB]

Im nearly 42 and my old eggs are still conceiving, twice in four cycles, mc'ed the last in December and just out now on the 5th cycle, if I keep my average up I will be preggers again this cycle! Yes they still work, I may need a bit of tweaking to help them stay there, but I am still very optimistic!

 

[LucindaE]

That is the way to think, Wannabe! You are obviously still one fertile lady. I am sure that having a relaxed attitude helps. I am sorry about the m/c. The best of luck for this cycle and sending you for the New Year.

Best Wishes

Lucinda XX

 

[LucindaE]

That is the way to think, WannaBe! I am sure that feeling relaxed about it helps. You are still obviously one fertile lady. I am sorry to hear about the m/c. The best of luck for this cycle. for you!!!

XX
Lucinda