To the mamas doing it alone, or with limited fob help

[MeaganMackenz]

I hope no one minds me posting here, you gals are closer to the end and may have more definite responses to my problem then my second trimester group

I'm a bit over the half way mark on baby number 3, my girls are almost 6 and 3. Hubby works construction and is facing having to go out of town for work this spring. Which is when I'm due. We still don't have the details yet like when he leaves, when he's home etc but we've never been apart in 7 years nevermind when a newborn is coming.

I don't know how I'm going to cope and I'm looking for suggestions or support from anyone who has or is doing a baby or a baby and older kids solo, or with little fob help.

We think he'll be gone Monday to Friday, or Monday to Saturday afternoon. We're also trying to arrange that he's in town for a month around my due date and after the baby comes to help with the adjustments, but then he's gone again.

My family is limited and unfortunately unable to help greatly. My dad has dementia and is still at home with my mom so she is quite consumed with that, trying to keep him home as long as she can before he needs a care home. I have 3 siblings but only 1 lives in province and is not kid orientated. No aunts or uncles or cousins I'm close to to lean on- its very limited on my side.

Hubby has more family here then I do but the relationships are fragile and just starting to be mended. His sister would help I know that but the relationship with her is always iffy and breaks down easily. His mom's an alcoholic and does "soft" drugs like weed. His dad works all overnights and has two young boys ages 8 and 6 himself that takes up his time.

My children's godparents are a godsend, they're always willing to help as much as they can but they both work full time and have 3 kids of their own. I can't go to them for every little thing ya know?

So long long story short, is there any advice or suggestions for coping with a baby or multiple kids and a baby solo? I'm all ears thank you!

 

[babylove x]

My dd dad has never been in the pic and i was a single mom for 1.5 yrs... I don't believe there is a way to prepare for being alone, you just manage!! A mom has gotta do what a mom has gotta do! I think the hardest part for you will be not having him around to enjoy the new baby, more emotional then anything.. You will be shocked at how strong you'll become when your babies need you & at least u know that babies got a daddy who loves her and will be home..

Play it by ear, you may be lucky and he won't miss a thing!

 

[MeaganMackenz]

I think we'll be good on him being here for the birth and for a couple weeks after, unless little girl comes drastically early, so there's at least that!

I know for the most part I'll be okay, I'm paranoid over the sick days ya know? I had the stomach flu twice in Dec and a horrible cold as well. I get paranoid of that happening again and being sick alone. Of course I'm a huge baby lol.

I'm hoping I'll be okay, I'm just scared of it. We haven't spent much time apart so it freaks me out a bit

 

[RaspberryK]

My dh worked crazy hours when ds was tiny, he went back to work when he was 2 days old.
I was lucky having support from family but I'd have managed without - just because you have to.
Dh helping out even when he was around was limited due to exclusive breastfeeding.
He worked away when ds was around 15 months for 3 months and only came home for Christmas, Honestly that was easy as we were in our own routine and dh actually creates more work for me.
With multiple children- I'm not sure how I'd/I'll cope but keeping to the routine with the other kids - dropping off at school and bedtimes as much as you can and doing meal prep early in the day instead of trying to do it in the evening would probably help.
Xx

 

[Geo2]

aw is there no way that he can change his plans to support you more at home? Even if it means you will have less money, could you survive at least? Its horrible being stressed, worried and pregnant i know. I know it takes a few months to get in a schedule again with a newborn and thats when you'll need lots of help in looking after your girls. I'm also alone, not planned to be, but hey, i'm lucky my parents can help, even though my mums a bit overbearing at times! Good luck, I'm sure if you have a talk with your husband you can work out a solution?

 

[MeaganMackenz]

Unfortunately no, it looks like it'll boil down to he goes or he has no work. I can't say the money isn't needed either, his company has weird ideas about paying OT. They generally don't for in town stuff but contractually have to for out of town. He has started to make arrangements to be in town working for about a month around my due date and whatnot, but I don't think there's much choice on going or not aside from that.

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I am in the same boat as you and don't think there is much we can do apart from trying to stay strong and take it day by day. Hugs

 

[xxyjadexx]

My husband is in the military and is away most of the time. I also live in another country to my family but you will always manage! Everything will work out and you will find a way to keep everyone in a routine that works well!

 

[northern_me]

I think you will find you are more resilient than you think. I did it 100% alone for 3.5 years with my DD. Luckily I met my OH and things are much better this time. You will get into a routine. It's going to be hard but you're just going to prove how strong you are