To those who split earlier in year - how are you now? (also newbies too of course)

[edinsam]

I just wanted to write this thread (especially after just re-reading a thread on here about new break ups)

Some of the threads I just read back to May time were trully hearbreaking (mines included) and I wondered where everyone was now? Would you still write that similar type of thread/feelings? I am hoping this will also give hope to some of the girls who have just split with their OH.

I will start with saying I split on 27th March with the love of my life. I had the perfect life (or so I thought I had) he left me at 3 months pregnant to go back to his ex. I thought my life was over. I cried and cried and I pleaded with him to come back, nothing. He wanted me to have a termination and he would come back. I refused. Do I regret it? Not a single jot!

I didnt eat for weeks, I never left home for days, I trully thought my life was over. I continued to (and will still do) work with this horrible man and I still loved him and through the months still thought of him every day and even months in had he asked to get back with me I would have gone!

Fast forward 6 months (and even after going through the trauma of giving birth and having Lily in the world now) OMG am I in a better place or what... OMG I really trully didnt believe 6 monhts ago that I would have the ability to stop thinking about this man let alone realise that my place in life was never meant to be beside him.

I am well and trully whole again - and you do you know what peeps its my baby that made me whole again. It really is. Never thought it was possible to laugh again (its a bit like that scene in the Sex and the City film where she says she doesnt think she will ever be able to laugh again) in recent weeks I have laughed so much that I have cried. I am finally able to see all the positive things my life has to offer.I know there is still CSA and DNA and everything to go through but hey even that cant dampen life - those are just mere formalities to get through When I am driving my car I look over at the car seat to Lily sitting there and I think this is my amazing life now and I love her and my life, its me and her against the world. Nothing now can ever change that, nothing can come between us and if this man decides to make a come back then the door will be firmly slammed in his face. For being the love of my life 6 months ago I never ever thought I could say that - I can now.

Is this the same for everyone else?

To all those new splits on here - please take heart from my story. I am not a strong person in life, I take things hard - I took this hard. But if I can walk out that door every morning feeling blessed to be alive carrying my daughter and see that life is out there for the living, not just existing - then any one of you can do it.

Sam
xxx

 

[precious-gift]

well you know my story!! hey we split on exact same date!something must of been happening that day ha ha!

great post it gives others hope for the future, i am definately stronger than i was before i had jake, although still struggling a bit with the rejection from my ex towards his son, hoping that will get easier. guess i believed that if he saw his son he would realise what he was missing out on, but he doesn't even want to see him. Meeting up with his mum and sister on friday will get back to you on that!

overall im looking forward to the future with my son, hoping to get my own place soon and getting a bit of a social life back, get out and meet new people. As you said back in april, what doesn't break us makes us stronger. Oh and B and B has helped a lot, so thanks girls xxx

 

[edinsam]

aw Precious you will get there - you have come so far. I too thought that once he saw Lily he would melt - not to be! he stood there at her pram and didnt even look in.... Between that and handing over my dream house to the new people last week something well and trully died and it was him. I am soooo over it.. You will get there (if not already!)

I do not envy you the inlaw meet up hun - I thought I was going to have to have that after a text from them the day Lily was born - never heard anything since. Apparently they holding out for DNA results - morons! Let me know how you get on with that on Friday - will be thinking of you

BnB has been great absolutely and yes you will then go on to meet new friends! Im still driving half way up to see Jake lol!!!

 

[lou_w34]

Im so-so still =)
I have my great days, but then i have days where i let my hate for him ruin everything, or if i get a text/missed call from him i let it bother me for hours afterwards.

Saying that though, i feel tons better then i did in may, and i have much more better days than i do bad.

I think by the time my lil girl gets here, ill be fine, as i no i have to be strong enough for the both of us, and i no i can do it, as i will already do anything to protect her now, so it can only intensify when she gets here

The way i see it is, he is the one missing out, whereas im gaining so much, i just cant wait to meet her now! =D its taking so long!

 

[edinsam]

lou he so is and I was the same - so so but then when she was here it wiped that out.

Keep being strong, time will fly - I remember being 28 weeks as if it was yesterday and thats my Lily now a month old!

 

[McLovin]

I unfortunately still live with mine (as some of you may have read)..... and I am still quite bitter about the whole thing. We split a while a go, some time back in april/May - memories a bit of a blur as it was so off/on for ages - finally fully ended start of July.
BUT on the brightside... I don't want him back anymore... I've realised what an arse he is and how much shit I used to put up with (and frankly don't quite believe I put up with it, I must have been nuts!)
I still have to take his shit now, but I am more like "who the hell are you to talk to me like that?!" whereas before I was like crying all the time and "oh please don't say that, I really love you" like a right bloody sappy loser!
Also I am seeing the positives of being a single mum - like I can spend as much time at home with my LO as I like - if I was with him I'd have to return to work straight away.
So to some up, still bitter and angry at him - but looking forward to when I have my LO here with me and can hurry up and move out and get on with my life without him.

 

[Pricey]

I'm still finding it hard, sort of. I find it harder when SHE speaks to me. It's been nearly 5 days since we last spoke, or even a text, but it is a lot easier on me.

I was the father-to-be and she left me at around 16 weeks, ruining my family dreams and is now getting close to someone else, but there is nothing I can do. She treats me like shit, HE also has a go at me, and I don't truly know why.

I want to move on, but I also don't want her telling me that I cannot see my Daughter, or that HE is "being there more than me" because that will devastate me. I was told yesterday by one of my girl friends that I was the most sensitive person she knew and that I am so loving. But my ex never believed me when I said "I love you", and she left me...don't know why it was so easy for her?

------

But I've tried, and I must give up now. I have 127 days to sort myself out.

 

[edinsam]

Aw pricey I really feel it for you. I guess it's hard on your side of the fence too. It's rare that the guy is treated this way.

All I can say to you is that the law will protect you and she can't stop you seeing your daughter. Also it will get easier. You need to try and pick yourself up and move on. I know more than anyone how hard that is but it's the only way you will get through the next number of months.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope things start to get a bit easier for you.

 

[Welshcob]

Sam
Your message was a real push in the right direction for me. I really hope that it turns out the same for me when my LO arrives. FOBs birthday on Saturday and I have been struggling ever since. Can't understand - (because I am thick) how he just walks away threw me and bubs away. Although I know he might come back for bubs later. I can't understand why I always think of the good bits and miss him. I need to re focus often and realise that had he been around he would A.. have been disgusted in how I look at the moment. B. Lost it with me when I was sick C. Lost it with me that I have no energy and am tired all the time. D. given me zero support and thought only of himself. But I still struggle. Reading everyones messages, I can see these guys have no issue walking away. I have the best part of FOB and this is this baby! I regret that I trusted him and thought we would do this together, but I don't regret having his baby and I don't regret a second of waiting for my magic arrival!
I just get upset when I sit and think - I was thinking of him on his birthday and I bet my last pound, he spared not a seconds thought to me or the baby! So in essence, its still hard. I am scared too. But I think - that like Sam, when LO arrives I will feel all that love for LO and not FOB.

 

[babybaillie]

Roll on the day i feel that way. Well done u for getting there!!

 

[PrincessSoph]

my ex left me in april when i was 5 and half months pregnant, we were married and i thought totally in love. i waited for him for 7 months while he was in afghan then he came back met a girl and left.

he left me with nothing - no home, car, money i had totally relied on him. i had to start my life all over again. i cried every day hardly ate and was so down. the only thing that kept me going was LO and its only been the last month that ive thought f**k him, i dont need him and never will. what was i doing with him?!

im totaly loving life now, i got my lil girl who is more important to me than anyone ever could be,. shes made my life complete and im glad he left me in a way cos im a much stronger person. im only 21 so im glad i learnt such an important lesson now, i will never NEED a man again and my next relationship will be so much stronger as i wont put up with any crap. ive seen there are better men out there who will treat me like a princess not a worthless piece of crap like my ex did.

 

[edinsam]

Princess Soph you are a bloody inspiration girl. To pick yourself up from that at 21 and get on with it - hats off to you hun

Well done you - next guy will have to be a goodie for you and your bubs.. Well done