Told my boss!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Natalie&Karl, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    I just told my boss that i'm pregnant...

    He basically said the following things:

    "you're too young to be a mother" (im 22 karl 25)

    "you'll have to live at home with your mum which she wont want"

    "you either work full-time or leave when you've had the child - but i dont think you'd be able to handle working ft with a child"

    "i don't believe in abortion but do adoption" (HE WAS ADOPTED)

    "STRONGLY consider adoption - it's not hard and you'll get over it"

    He's left now, so i'm just sat at my desk crying my eyes out...not sure if it's the hormones or not, i feel so pissed off and hurt!!!
     
  2. sophie

    sophie Mum of 2 pg with no3!

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    Oh my god what a complete an utter arse! He has no right what so ever to say these things to u, how dare he.
    Its def not just ur hormones no way should he have spoke to u like that.
    x how u held back from tellin him to f off i dont know u poor thing.
    :hugs:

    "you either work full-time or leave when you've had the child - but i dont think you'd be able to handle working ft with a child"
    and thats bolloks he cant make u leave so dont worry.
    x
     
  3. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    I know, i feel really upset - just glad i didnt cry infront of him - or maybe i should have!!!

    He was horrible...!!!

    Talks so much shit about how he needs a FLEXIBLE full time worker...in case he needs someone here at 7.30am or work till 7.00pm - which is SUCH bollocks!!!!!!!!!!!! Ive worked here for nearly a year, not once stayed late or come in early. Everyday i sit at my desk with absolutely no work!!
     
  4. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Natalie what do you do hun?

    Thats discusting & not fair at all he is your boss not your parent :x I personally think you would do well getting out of that job after you have taken your maternity leave! Seriously who the F does he think he is & never mind doing well not crying infront of him you did well not putting him on his backside because thats what I'd of donw - thats just discusting! You enjoy your pregnancy hun & look forward to holding your little one in your arms.
     
  5. Helen

    Helen ICSI Twins + miracle BFP

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    I'm sorry but that guy needs his arse kicking. Management style = zero :evil:

    You need to raise a formal grievance about the guy. Do you know where to find the grievance procedure?

    Can you tell I've only just finished work.... the HR Manager in me is just bursting out!! :lol:
     
  6. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    Luckily my boyfriends mum is a HR manager, so she knows everything we need to know about maternity leave, pay, right etc.

    She's told me to write a formal letter stating my due date and my maternity leave and also told me to find the companys maternity provisions.

    My mum was also in shock about what he said...

    u think thats bad..i forgot to mention this comment...

    "there are plenty of middle-class couples out there that can't have children..."

    Can u fucking believe it?!?! Oh ok boss i'll give my child to them...being as im just a working class child....!!

    I'm an Office Manager in a very small business, usually only me in the office. Dont get me wrong he's treated me well as an employee and only yesterday he gave me ANOTHER payrise, but i think he's handed this situation awfully.[/b]
     
  7. Yvonne

    Yvonne Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, i have not spoke to you before.

    What a reply that was by your boss!!! :shock:

    You should have cried loudly in his face, then rang up sick on monday and say it is stress!!
    What an arse!!!! :x
     
  8. gaby

    gaby Married, but not ttc

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    What the heck right does he have to say that? Are you friends out side of work at all? Otherwise he needs to pull the stick out of the stick up his arse. :evil: He really has no right to say that to you. Is there any one at work higher up than him or does he own the company? I'd complain tbh. Shouldn't be allowed to say stuff like that!!!
     
  9. Caroline

    Caroline Proud Mum of 4

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    Thats disgusting. If I could afford it I'd take my full maternity entitlement then when I was due back to work leave and get another job. What right does he have to say you can't be a mum and work f/t theres plenty of women who do. In my case i work f/t and it is my DH who is at home with the kids.
     
  10. Helen

    Helen ICSI Twins + miracle BFP

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    Payrise = Bribe in my eyes.

    Sorry, he's trying to keep you quiet because he knows he did wrong.
     
  11. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    Everyone i've spoken to is pretty disgusted and i briefly informed my collegue of what he said and that it upset me. I also said i dont wish to discuss my personal situations in the office.

    No, the pay rise wasn;t a bribe because he offered me that the day before i told him! But i can't see me staying there once i have this baby. It;s an incredibley boring job, within an industry i have no interest in being part of (energy, gas, etc etc).

    The reason he gives me pay rise however i think is a bribe to get me to stay, because i cant see anyone else my age holding the job down, because its socially isolated and as i mentioned before mind numbingly BORING.

    I'll keep you all updated when my other collegue replies...!
     
  12. Cat

    Cat Well-Known Member

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    Sorry random question but you said your an office manaer and your in the office on your own, dealing with energy/gas etc. Your not working for part of the cobra group are you?
     
  13. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    lol no Cat. But yes i am an Office Manager and don't really manage anyone and yes the focus of our business is energy and power.

    My collegue sent me a really nice email in reply. She said there is now way he can stop me from returning to work, she told me my companies maternity provisions (stat. government) and also said i've got her full support.

    She's away on business with the boss for two days so said she'll have a word with him so he can see it from a different perspective.

    Also just spoke to my bosses son, who's recently started working here (he's my age - 22). He was lovely, said he's glad i'm keeping the child and to ignore his dad. He said me and Karl should easily be able to cope and that even though his dad (who was adopted) has become very successful he told me he was incredibly lonely and found it difficult. He also told me his mum (who's a doctor in Psychotherapy and deals with girls in these situations everyday) was trying to explain to my boss/her husband how difficult it is to give up a child for adoption.

    I feel sooooooooooo much better now!!!!
     
  14. Cat

    Cat Well-Known Member

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    Glad you are getting a bit more support hun, sounds like your boss just has a bit of a messed up view of these things due to his own experiences. Im sure he didnt mean to upset you.

    it just sounded like you were working for the same company Iused to work for as Iwas the office manager for a engery supplier markering company, where each branch was opened by someone who had reached that level of sales so they got there own team and own branch, but it also ment that they were often young upstarts who had no clue about office politics and were complete idiots when it came to running an office and HR stuff.
     
  15. charlie

    charlie Member

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    How long have you worked there?

    In my firm after two years of service before week 30 of pregnancy (which will be me) I'm entitled to 6 months pay.... I think so many months full and then so on.... If I defo am I want to take 1 year off.

    I think they have to hold my job open for that time... but i could say i was going back and then give them enough notice...

    you'll also get so much of your child care paid for so dont worry if you have to go back to work.

    i would seriously consider making a complaint about your boss- but only if you have nothing they can try and fire you on e.g.... if you do 'do' anything you shouldn't stop right away (like me being on the internet once i know i am for sure i wont touch this thing!)

    lots of love
    charlie x
     
  16. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    OMG :shock: I can't believe what I have just read!!!!!!!

    What an arrogant arse.......and I couldn't care lesss what his personal issues are with parenthood and families, he is your boss and only your boss and should have been bloody professional and handled the news completely differently!

    I would definitilay complain about the jumped up little arse......who does he think he is? If he had of said that to someone who was vulnerable and confused and without a partner, or a partner who was not 100% into having the baby.....that sort of talk could spell disaster for someone!

    What an ignorant git! Oh he has made my blood boil!

    Hun complain, but do not let his stupid words get to you any longer.........you have a life to look forward to, and he sounds like he needs to get a life :roll:

    We are all happy for ya babe :dance: x
     
  17. Natalie&Karl

    Natalie&Karl Well-Known Member

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    Yeah he is a complete git but i honestly believe he didn't say it to personally attack or hurt me...he's just a stupid, older man that can't handle unprepared situations.

    I've worked here for a year on 4th April and since being here he has been very generous. He's given me two pay rises and pays me well.

    The last thing i'd want to do is get him into any trouble - law wise.

    I'm not protecting him as i still think what he said is COMPLETELY out of order, but i dont think it was vindictive.

    The main thing is that i have the support of my family now and me and my boyfriend are sooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He can whinge and dissapprove all he wants - he's only my boss after all. :D

    xxxx
     
  18. charlie

    charlie Member

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    In which case you entitled to 52 weeks leave and I think SMP

    :lol:
     

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