Told my mum I want a homebirth.. well sort of!

[justkitty]

I few weeks ago I had a minor arguement with mum and sister when I dared to mention that the midwives now encourage homebirths for first time mums if the pregnancy has gone well. My mum thought I was wrong and my sister decided to tell me how she would have died and my niece would have died if they'd not been in hospital (my niece got her shoulder stuck so the midwife had to pull her out!)

Anyway, I've been umming and ahhing for a couple of weeks and I always come back to the same thing. I want a natural hypno-birth with my husband present in a relaxed atmosphere with no scary sounds and no one rushing about. So a homebirth seems ideal. I had to research it though to make sure it really is safe.

We live 20 mins from the hospital on a good day and no traffic and no snow (baby due in Feb) -So in an emergency, I hope I'd be able to get to the hospital on time. What do you think?

Anyway, last week I had dinner with mum and she asked if I was still thinking about a homebirth and I said yes. When I told her all the statistics she actually quite warmed to the idea.

I just always come back to the What if's.

 

[ljo1984]

there will always be what if's niggling away in the back ground, but what happened to your sister isnt a regular occurance so dont let others bad experiences take you away from what you really want. i keep thinking of what if's but then remind myself of all the positive things i'll get out of a home birth, and they out weigh all the things that might happen and most likly wont happen. ive been quite cautious of who i talk to about it as i know who will have negitive things to say and who will support me. im glad your mum has come around to the idea though. my mum wanted HB with my little brother (dont know why she didnt) so she's been fine with the idea so phew! dont think anyone on OH side is aware lol!!

 

[wigglywoo]

What ifs are important to think about and understand. A lot of research shows that some complications are actually caused by unnecessary interventions which happen in a hospital and wouldn't at home. So someone who says they and/or their baby would have died had they not have been in hospital may genuinely believe that, but were the complications they experienced caused by medical interventions or would they have happened anyway?

Shoulder dystocia is also very rare so just because it happened to your sister, does not mean it will happen to you. At the end of the day, wherever you choose to give birth must be where you feel comfortable and safe. If that is at home or a hospital doesn't matter, it's about how you feel about it. The most important thing is that your choice is informed.

I also think that 20 mins away from hospital is fine. Most babies are born at night when there is less traffic anyway. I live about the same distance from the hospital and have never even considered it to be an issue.

 

[irish_cob]

Remember the midwives you have at a HB have exactly the same skills and same training as the midwives have in a hospital, so even if you have something like shoulder dystocia they can still use the same maneouvres (spelling?) and procedures as they would perform in hospital. Even in hospital in an emergency situation, it can take 20 mins or half an hour to prepare a theatre and surgeon for an emergency c-section, and if it turned out you needed to be rushed into hospital for an emergency operation, that preparation would be happening whilst you were in an ambulance being looked after by your midwives and paramedics rather than you waiting on the delivery suite being looked after by midwives. I wouldn't worry about 20 mins, especially if you think you'll be in an ambulance with lights and sirens on if it's an emergency.

 

[Samantha675]

My mother was very resistant to the idea as well, but over my pregnancy with my son I slowly educated her, and now she is a huge homebirth fan.