Told to wait three months...??

[KahluaCupcake]

I don't even know why I'm posting here........I just found out. My miscarriage isn't even complete. I don't know if I'm going to want to wait a month or a year. Nothing will ever replace my little one.
But I guess I just want answers.
The doctor on call who had to deliver my bad news was pretty cold. I mean I guess she's not going to break down and cry with me, but she was just so...factual, referring to my baby as "tissue" and saying how common miscarriages are, and not acknowledging my grief...just probably irritated that she was in the ER on a Friday night and wanting am answer if I want a d&c tonight or not. She told me it's recommended whether I take the d&c or miscarry on my own that I should wait at least 3 months before trying again. But I hear often of people miscarrying at all stages of pregnancy and getting pregnant the next month.
I can't NTNP or just "hope" it happens...I only got pregnant by using clomid and a sperm donor. So it has to be entirely planned.
I was almost 11 weeks. And the cramping hasn't even started yet.
I just want to know so it's one less thing to think about. I feel like a failure as it is. I'm pretty sure it was caused by the serious stress over the past week that I was apparently too emotional to handle better and let it get to me.
I'll be seeing my regular obgyn on Monday for another ultrasound and to get his opinion. But I'm 26, and this was my first pregnancy.

 

[KahluaCupcake]

Please, please don't read and run. It's terrible enough that in first trimester, there are hundreds of people reading what I was going through and my updates and just probably took away, "oh, I'm so lucky..."

 

[LilMissCheer]

I'm sorry sweetie

 

[Ducktales]

hiya -sorry for your loss
i was told my my doctor to wait 1 month for a normal cycle
I had an ERPC which is similar to a D and C.
I am not 5 months on and no BFP and my doctor has now told me to wait 3 months and go onto birth control to try and regulate my body, even though i have regular ovulation and periods - i will not be doing this.
To be honest, it depends if they are testing for reasons why you had a MC ???
In the UK you have to have 3 before they test, so there is not much point in waiting. If however, you may get some answers as to any possible problems, maybe it is better to wait and see if there is anything that can assist ?
If you look at the Miscarriage threads, and search the posts there are so many posts on D and C's and ERPCS and what to expect, in detail.
I am sorry you have to go through this, but I promise you it gets a little easier each day - cry and let your emotions out and consider talking to someone if you need to
take care
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tulip]

I'm so sorry for your loss darling and also for the heartlessdoc When I had to let them take my little girl by ERPC the hospital said to wait 3 months but my GP said there's no need. He said one cycle (to help with dating if you get pregnant straight away) would be fine. We fell pregnant with Munchkin on the second trying cycle.

Best of luck to you xx

 

[Elhaym]

Hi, am so sorry for your loss. I'm 27 and it was also my first

I had an ERPC (similar to a D&C) on the 4th July. Initially the midwife said they advise waiting 3 months but the doctor who did the procedure said really only 1 month, they say 3 months more to let you heal emotionally than for any physical reason. My GP confirmed this and said there was no medical evidence to say you need to wait any longer.

The only time I think it is medically necessary to wait 3 months or longer is when you've had an ectopic or molar pregnancy, which i don't think is your case.

it is incredibly hard, I went for my 12 week scan and was told my baby had no heartbeat and died about 4 weeks previously, it was horrible. Please don't blame yourself, stress cannot cause a miscarriage, it's just something that happens, awful as it is. If you need someone to talk to there are lovely ladies at the miscarriage forum who can offer advice and support. Sending hugs xx

 

[TTC1983]

I had an ERPC after a missed miscarriage and was told to wait 1 cycle and mine was a pretty complicated miscarriage. They did say i should wait longer if i wasn't emotionally ready to try that soon but physically was told no problem and the only reason to wait 1 cycle is for dating. Sorry for your loss.

 

[bounceyboo]

so sorry hun for ur loss we lost our first precious baby last week so i know how crushing and heartbreaking it is, we r going to ntnp for a while n see what happens, lots more hugs hun, ITS NOT UR FAULT and nothing u didn or didnt do caused it hunni, the doc told me that millions of cells come together all at once n have to all form correctl n it only takes 1 to throw things off, that the baby wont grow past a cretain amount of weeks, its a nautral thing, n also to either try right away or after the 1st cycle its u to me n how im feeling

 

[DaisyBee]

xxxBig hugsxxxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry for the horrible dr you had to deal with.

I had natural miscarriages twice and was told to wait 1 cycle ( so after I would get 1 af). I think only you can know whe it feels right though. We werent ready after 1 cycle so waited both times.

 

[LittleBird]

First, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think that what the other ladies are saying completely covers what I'm thinking too -- I don't think there is a physical reason why you need to wait 3 months. Sometimes doctors tell you to wait when you have a methotrexate injection (I had that with my first m/c) but that's to give you time to get the toxic chemicals out of your system and build your folic acid back up. My OBGYN didn't even tell me to wait that long for metho. So if you have a natural miscarriage, or even a D&C, I would think you could try before then. Just listen to your heart and your body and you will know when it's time to try again.

 

[Fallen Ambers]

I'm so sorry for your loss~ words can't really express "that" feeling. It is so painful to lose a child. I feel sad for anyone who has to go through such a heartbreaking experience.

I agree with what Little Bird said, only you will know when it is the right time to TTC. It took me 4 years.....listen to your heart.

I think some doctors want you to wait a little while, just to allow yourself to grieve completely and accept your loss. Often times, a mother who just lost her child, has the instinct to try again right away. I think it's just human nature, we want to fill this sudden void because the emptiness hurts to the core.

Good Luck to you and many blessings your way xoxo

 

[ann89]

So sorry to hear about your loss

Most people I've heared from their Dr. say wait till you have one normal cycle and then your ok to ttc again.

 

[Tulip]

Oh I would absolutely wait 3 months after methotrexate, an adequate Folate store is super important. It would be the worst thing in the world to lose the next baby to an NTD

I think with me, the only way I could heal was to have hope that our forever baby was just around the corner