Transitioning to being a Stay at Home Mom

[Mathmagican]

Hi,

I am considering leaving my job to be a stay at home mom. We can make the money thing work. It will be a change of lifestyle. But I am not sure how to deal with the loose of $$ independence. How did other parents deal with the transition?

Thanks!

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[mistyscott]

Hi there

I have just finished up with my paid maternity leave and as that was from a fixed term contract job (my training) I am now unemployed - and financially dependent on another person for the first time in my adult life (I'm 31).
It has been strange, and a little stressful for me personally feeling a bit out of control of finances. But we are married and have a joint account and my dh always reassures me that it is 'our' money even though he earns it.

I think it helps to have a rough budget and therefore an idea of how much 'spare' cash you have each month. For example, I know how much roughly we have allocated for activities (like groups etc) and travel. I think I'm gonna try getting a fixed amount out each week in cash and then I know when that's gone it's gone. I do find it difficult to keep track if I'm always using plastic.

The key is to talk to your partner and think about ways of you feeling more in control financially IMO. Oh, and looking after LO is a job too, so don't think you aren't contributing!

Good luck

 

[kanga]

All our money goes into a joint account. Bills are paid out of that, plus we each get an allowance into our own individual accounts. Anything left gets saved. So really, it doesnt matter where the money comes from and who earns it, everything gets paid and we both get spending money. Depends on your oh's attitude.

 

[Rabbittchild]

Since getting engaged my DH and I have always had joint accounts, both our salaries went in and we paid all bills and everything out of the one account. We have a loose rule that if we want to purchase something over £50 we just let the other one know out of courtesy more than anything else but it's not like we HAVE to check with each other.

At once time or another one of us has had a career break and the other has worked so it feels fair. As I am on maternity leave and not going back to work in October I feel it's reasonable that I do 99% of the household stuff and child care which is my job if you like. It's hard not contributing financially but you have to communicate with your OH I think and budget and keep reminding yourself of all the stuff you ARE doing.

I think we're quite old fashioned in our approach but it's what works for us right now