Traumatic birth support group

[OmiOmen]

Many women have a positive experience of childbirth but there are also many women who are left feeling angry and upset by their experience for a variety of reasons. A very negative birthing experience can lead to post natal PTSD which can have serious and long lasting emotional effects. So I wanted to start a thread where those of us who have had bad experiences can support each other.

I recently found this website about post natal PTSD which explains what it is and can help those suffering with it feel a little less alone. https://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/what_is_trauma.htm

 

[Viola Payne]

I like this idea. My DS is 14 months and just found out i'm pregnant again. Last time was horrific and would love to have a thread or page for mutual support.

Great idea

 

[OmiOmen]

Congratulations on expecting your second. How are you feeling about having to go through delivery again? I know traumatic deliveries can lead to tokophobia (fear of pregnancy), I think I am left feeling like that and think it takes such strength to go through it again.

 

[Sazaroo]

Hello!

So glad I found this thread!
I always wanted two children but after a horrific birth with my DD I decided I couldnt go through it again. We had fertility treatment to be able to have my DD and was told we couldnt conceive naturally. Well imagine my surprise (and horror!) to discover im pregnant again! I know its a blessing and my DD will love having a sibling but wow im terrified. I have had some counselling, I am doing Natal Hypnotherapy and doing pregnancy yoga to try to help.
Its taken me a while to accept I have to go through this again, and im still in denial but I am starting to get excited about having a newborn again, just wish I didnt have to go through the birth again, my nightmares have restarted etc.

At least we know, as awful as it is, its 100% worth it for the end result. x

 

[tinkerbelle93]

This is a good idea. I had a horrible birth with my DS who is now 18 months old but I still get flashbacks and get upset about it, really terrified about having another one but really don't want an only child or 2 with a massive age gap so it's such a tough decision as I would LOVE another baby If I could have an amazing birth next time then I think that would help me get over it, I just want the experience so many other women describe. xx

 

[Radiance]

This is a really good idea, I had a really bad experience with my sons birth and it left me for a long time feeling alone and having no one to talk, or at least that could relate to how I felt. I am now almost 14 weeks pregnant with my 3rd, my son is 17 months old. I do have some worries about delivery, I have a new OB and midwife and they are taking my pregnancy much more serious and taking my concerns in.

*My pregnancy story and labor with both my children are in my pregnancy journal, with my daughter (my 1st), labor was excellent! Much better than I had believed it would ever be, it was wonderful. With my son, it was scary and after having a scary hard pregnancy, I had no clue what to think or what would happen. When my OB walked in and said, "Oh, you just couldn't wait to see me, could you! and then told me "We are having a baby tonight" I actually cried in shock for about an hour and a half straight.

 

[Viola Payne]

What do you think about requesting to make it a members only group? I'd just hate for first time mom to be's to stumble into some graphic horror stories. At the same time, I'd like to be able to go into some detail about my thoughts and feelings. I wonder if the admins would be okay with making it a members only group (like "gender disappointment")

 

[Viola Payne]

Congratulations on expecting your second. How are you feeling about having to go through delivery again? I know traumatic deliveries can lead to tokophobia (fear of pregnancy), I think I am left feeling like that and think it takes such strength to go through it again.

I wanted to get pregnant again as that was the plan before i was starved, imprisonned and battered with fetal monitors. It does worry me, more than i thought. But, the difference is that this time I KNOW not to go to the hospital unless it's a bona fide emergency. Last time i went because i was scared and tired of the pain. Will not make that mistake again.

 

[teal]

I had a traumatic birth with my son. It's been over 3 years and it still bothers me at times. I had postnatal depression and I know the birth had a massive contribution to that. When I had a relapse into depression my GP felt I had some post traumatic stress and I then had counselling which I think was a big help.

I couldn't do it again so my son will be an only child. Luckily he has two cousins close in age so I don't feel too guilty/concerned about that.

Massive hugs to everyone here xx

 

[redruby1123]

I would like to be apart of this group. I currently have one daughter and definitely want another baby, however my birth experience was awful. Even my DR who delivered her told me I had it harder than most : / definitely gives me anxiety about the next.

 

[Radiance]

I actually have a fear of dying during pregnancy or labor now, it has gotten to me a few times this pregnancy and I even thought of talking to my OB about it but they don't seem that understanding.

 

[teal]

I actually have a fear of dying during pregnancy or labor now, it has gotten to me a few times this pregnancy and I even thought of talking to my OB about it but they don't seem that understanding.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. If your OB isn't that understanding could they refer you to speak to someone else, like a counsellor? xx

 

[private26]

would just like to say that I had an awful first birth and hated the hospital and many friends have had bad experiences at this hospital, I had no desire to have anymore children for 4 years but eventually I became broody again and made sure I got the hospital I wanted this time. I also spoke to someone at the hospital about my past experience and they helped put my mind at ease. I eventually chilled out about my second impending birth and made sure I had raspberry leaf tea this time and lots of it and kept active when labour did start. it lasted a total of 4 hours and I had 5 mins of gas and air and I felt it was so much more of a better experience than my first. dd1 has scars from the first birth because of the ventouse,tthey're still there and she's 4! just wanted to say that not all births are the same ans second ones are supposed to be quicker and easier which was definitely true for me, I can't recommend rlt enough I'm convinced that helped as I didn't touch anything like that with birth 1. I have heard amazing things about hypnobirthing which I think if you are very concerned about labour again then to give this a go. I hope I have helped a little. Good luck ladies xx

 

[OmiOmen]

I'm not sure how to request how to make it a closed group? I am not sure if the post-partum section might be a better place for this thread too?

Radiance, I feel the same. Me and DS2 very nearly died in the delivery but the healthcare team are really supportive of how I am feeling (although we have decided not to have any more anyway). I agree that maybe a referral would be a good idea, PTSD from pregnancy/delivery should be taken seriously.

 

[Dream.dream]

I didn't realize how bad I was affected by my sons birth until I got pregnant this time and wa shaving panic attacks about having to go back to the high risk OB , I couldn't even picture walking in the office an seeing the doctor again, and then the thought of birth was just horrible for me I kept saying I just won't go to the hospital ill just stay at home ( completely in reasonable )

I'm actually working with a therapist to try and get over my anxiety so I can have this baby .

 

[PhoenixRising]

Hi all,
My first lo is now 19 months old and I am now pregnant with my second.
My first birth experience was very traumatic and I have been waiting to feel better about it. Its a little better now I have bonded with my son (which took me a while) so at least I can be grateful he was the result but I still cry when I try and talk about it. I am going to see a hypnotherapist (she'll do hypnobirthing with me as well but I want to deal with my first birth first!) in a couple of weeks (once I've had my 12 week scan).
I feel stupid for not being over it!

Nice to meet you all,

Liz