trying hard or relaxing? how do you cope?

[kosh]

hi all, i'm kind of new here.
i am 39 (only until saturday!) and TTC#1. we started in september last year, and after only 2 months i got pregnant, but had a MMC at 7wks. waited for a cycle and started again in january, so not long really, but i really had my hopes up for a BFP before my 40th bday. i was devastated yesterday when AF arrived.
i just do not understand how this *really* works.... do you think you have to try hard...or the opposite?? i mean, since the MMC i started to pay more attention to body signals, MC, etc and even started with opks last month so i know when i ovulated, and we timed sex around, etc etc but no luck. however, in november last year when i did get pregnant it was more like NTNP and i actually had no idea when i ovulated/had sex! was that just a coincidence or ther is something about not really trying that helps?? i wish i could go back to that but i do not think that's possible now.
i know that if i was younger i would really try to relax/forget - but there is no time to do that at my age, so how do you it??? the more i read the more i'm getting very worried about my real chances to have a family.
i was so optimist just a few months ago and now i'm in this horrible dark place - please help!

 

[mandy1971]

Hi Kosh,

Congratulations on the pregnancy.
From my experience so far the cbfm was spot on with catching my peak fertility although I had used opk's on my 2 previous pregnancys. I did only use the cbfm for one cycle but I'd say it was more exact.
As the egg only lives for 24 hours I think its so important to get the timing just right.
stock up on concieve plus lubricant (its a sperm friendly lubricant that helps to feed the sperm and allows them a longer life., do not ever use ky jelly as it kills the sperm!),
Hope you're taking your folic acid?!
And perhaps you could also take some over the counter vitamins to assist concieving I use the viabotics brand.
good luck!!
Mandy xx