Trying to find them! Help?

[miraclemomma]

Ok, long story! And possibly not the best place to post, but....my best friend (40 year old man if that’s relevant) split up with his long term girlfriend 8 years ago! They had 2 children together (both of which she stopped taking birth control without telling him, if that’s relevant)! They are now 13 and 10. Up until 18 months ago he was in regular contact, as were his parents! His parents actually took them on holiday to Florida around Christmas 2 years ago! Last year my friend went through a truly awful time and ended up in a severe depression! He became a recluse before attempting suicide twice (overdosed on both occasions and did take a fatal dose, just found in time)! In the meantime his ex partner got pregnant again however left her new partner as he was abusive! Contact was lost as she changed her number, cancelled social media, left no forwarding address etc! In the last 6 months he has been desperately trying to get in touch with the kids! He has found her house and has visited now on numerous occasions, but with no luck! He has left notes, messages with neighbours, waited for hours outside! On more than one occasion they have definitely been in but not answered the door! He is at a loss and I’m worrying that it is going to have a negative impact on his mental health! Does any one have any advice on what the next steps he should take are??

 

[Wobbles]

How awful of her not only to him but those children who have a right to contact with their Dad.

No reason given why she did this?

He needs to contact a solicitor. `it's so s****y some parents have to go this route.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think he needs to go through a solicitor and the courts and stop showing up at her house. She probably (quite rightfully actually) feels she is being stalked. Yes, she may very well be in the wrong here, but given his history of mental illness and suicide attempts, it is possible he has made some sort of threat towards her/them in the past that you may not be aware of. It's also possible that his own instability has caused tremendous pain and damage to his children, and she now feels she is protecting them from further harm. She could also just be a jerk as you've described. Whatever the case may be, his behaviour would constitute stalking and it is not at all in his favour to keep it up from a legal standpoint. It could only harm his access to his children in the future. He needs to go through a solicitor and make sure this is handled all above board.