Trying to stay positive....Just had to get it out....

[Jessa]

So, it's been a little over three months since my miscarriage at 17 weeks back in February. Since then, my hubby and I have tried for two cycles, only to be told last week that the doctor thinks I've been experiencing anovulatory cycles since the miscarriage. I've also had some pretty significant setbacks emotionally after feeling as though things were starting to feel better. As a result of that, I have started seeing a counsellor to help me work through things (my second appointment is on Thursday). On top of not ovulating and having a hard time emotionally, I also just started treatment on a wart on the bottom of my left foot that the dermatologist says we cannot continue if I get pregnant (treatment should take approximately two months). AND, I've joined a gym and have a personal trainer, hoping to lose approximately 25 pounds.

So, why am I writing all this.....well, I've got another appointment at the doctor this coming Friday to talk about birth control options for now. I would like nothing more than to get pregnant right now, but I don't think I'm ready emotionally or physically (with the no ovulating) right now. So, hubby and I have decided to take a break and go on birth control for two or three months, so we don't have to use condoms (absolutely hate them). Hopefully the birth control will help to regulate my period as well and get me ovulating again (never had this problem before).

I'm just frustrated because I should have been a Mom by now. Our first miscarriage, if it hadn't happened, I would have given birth in March. Now, this miscarriage, I would have given birth in July. If I go back on birth control, there's no possibility of even being pregnant again before then. I know it's probably the right thing to do for us, it's just frustrating and upsetting to not be where I thought I was going to be in life by now. Arrgghh!

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. Just feel a bit better when I get it all out.

 

[babytots]

hunni i really hope the next 2-3 months pass quickly for you. x

 

[todteach]

Oh hun..........big squishy hug. I'm so sorry. How frustrating for you. But, like you said: you are wanting to shed a couple pounds, get your foot taken care of, and get emotionally ready too.

I know how upsetting it is to have to wait, and it just plain "sucks". *sorry had no better way to explain it.* After our first loss, I had to wait months to get in for a Cat-scan appointment, only to be told that everything was alright. Well, duh I knew that already. And now, to wait for yet another cycle for more testing to determine all of the "whys". To be possibly told that everything is alright again (which is the answer that I want, i think? or an "easy" fix). It would be just wonderful to be pregnant again (like yesterday). It feels like we're owed a pregnancy and a baby, after being through so much. I just figured out today, that we should have a six month old and be five months pregnant. Well, that won't happen for a while now.

I know that this wait is going to be really crummy for you to get through..........but we can all wait together. By the looks of it, I probably won't be able/allowed to be pregnant again for a few more months either.

Sending you big . Wish I could do more to help you hun, but all that I have to give you is my love and support. xox

 

[Jessa]

Oh hun..........big squishy hug. I'm so sorry. How frustrating for you. But, like you said: you are wanting to shed a couple pounds, get your foot taken care of, and get emotionally ready too.

I know how upsetting it is to have to wait, and it just plain "sucks". *sorry had no better way to explain it.* After our first loss, I had to wait months to get in for a Cat-scan appointment, only to be told that everything was alright. Well, duh I knew that already. And now, to wait for yet another cycle for more testing to determine all of the "whys". To be possibly told that everything is alright again (which is the answer that I want, i think? or an "easy" fix). It would be just wonderful to be pregnant again (like yesterday). It feels like we're owed a pregnancy and a baby, after being through so much. I just figured out today, that we should have a six month old and be five months pregnant. Well, that won't happen for a while now.

I know that this wait is going to be really crummy for you to get through..........but we can all wait together. By the looks of it, I probably won't be able/allowed to be pregnant again for a few more months either.

Sending you big . Wish I could do more to help you hun, but all that I have to give you is my love and support. xox

I'm sorry to hear that you have to wait as well. Even though we know that in the long run, the reasons we're waiting are good and valid ones, it doesn't make it any easier. Unfortunately, having been through this past year and experiencing what I have, I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to really enjoy being pregnant like you hear some people say they do. Until I have my baby in my arms, I'll be worrying the whole time.

The few months will be over before we know it....That's what I keep telling myself anyway. Thinking about you, too.

 

[Las78]

hun, I hope the next couple of months go quick for you and that the birth control pills settle everything down so you can get back to ttc soon as you're ready x

 

[catfromaus]

I really hope this goes by quickly for you. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it just plain sucks!

Cat
xxx