TTC #1..Frustrated!

[b4real]

I'm new to the forum and I just wanna say-it's awesome to have a site like this where you can connect with other people who are also ttc! We're not telling anyone that we're trying so it's nice to have an outlet for my fears and frustrations! Plus there's lots of valuable info being passed from woman to woman. I'm 24 years old and 6 dpo on the 4th cycle of ttc and the 2WW always drags on FOREVER! And I feel so silly talking about this because I know there are people that have been ttc for WAY longer than I have but it is frustrating to me that I haven't gotten a bfp yet! I think I just had in my head that it would be easy because my mom got PG with me the 2nd time she had sex and my sis got PG the 1st time she had sex w/o BC(neither of them was ttc). My DH and I have been together for over 4 years now(married for 7 months) and because we're not telling anyone we're ttc there's a lot of friends and family that keep saying things like "You guys should have a kid" and "Your sister's kid could sure use a little cousin to play with" and every month that goes by with BFN after BFN those things feel more hurtful(although I know they don't mean them that way). I'm not usually a very stressed out person but it's been bad enough that it delays AF for a few days which brings my hopes up even more just to have them dashed My DH is nothing but supportive and I couldn't ask for a better man but sometimes it's so nice to talk to other women who just "get it." Thanks for listening!

 

[littlebird28]

Hey lady, I don't have much advice for you because we're in the same boat! I'm moving onto month 5, not long enough to complain TOO much, but long enough to stress and get paranoid over why its taking a while I didn't want to read and run....but hang in there! You definitely aren't alone.

 

[LilLeafyLea]

Hi b4real,

After reading your post I'd just like to say I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm one of four girls in my family (I'm the second oldest). My older sister has three children and I am getting lots of comments from well wishing friends and family about it being my turn next and how the family now lacks a baby to woo over 'nudge nudge'...no pressure there then!

I can only send you warm wishes of luck in your attempts. My partner of 7 years and I have been trying for 15 months now, but only seriously for the last 6/7 months. I'm 26 and he is 27. It's a strain emotionally every month when I don't fall and although my partner is immensely supportive, I too have found reading other womens responses whilst they are TTC very encouraging and often humbling. There are many who have been TTC much longer than you and I.

All that said getting a BFN when you have raised all your hopes is gutting. I've been for a blood test which came back normal, so just need to encourage my partner to go for a SA which he is reluctant to do but has agreed to.

I'm 10dpo and although I do feel that this cycle is different, this is also the first time I've been on this site, so not sure if I'm reading about and discovering symptoms I've had every month and never noticed before or that they are genuinely new and significant! There are so many that are the same as PMS symptoms on the 2ww (such as sore bbs) so it's slightly confusing and very frustrating!

I have been getting funny pulling twinges instead of my usual slight cramping and for about 4 days I slept 12/13 hours straight and found it hard to get up and stay awake during the day. I'm also stuffing my face quite a bit but I tend to do that before AF rears her ugly head so not sure if there's any real difference. I also felt quite queasy the other evening but it was only momentary.

A lot of women have reported getting very runny noses before falling pg, which I have - but I also suffer from hayfever lol! One big thing my partner and I noticed yesterday is my short temper. I'm usually a pain to be around during this time anyway but I went to put the collar on our dog ready for his walkies and he wouldn't sit still. I literally screamed at him - completely OTT and it came from nowhere! My partner shot me an alarmed look and I gave him the same look as if it had come from someone else! I felt soo guilty that the dog got an extra long walk and treats, poor thing! I don't know what is wrong with me but I certainly hope it is a ickle baby seed working it's way round down there!!

It's great that you have the support of your DH and it's nice to see someone else as frustrated as me! Not in a 'misery likes company' kinda way but in a 'lets vent like there's no tomorrow and not come across crazy' kinda way! lol!

Once again, all the best in your TTC quest! xxx

 

[Cosmos]

Let me say, I thought I was reading my own post there for a minute, lol!

Me and my DH have been trying for 3 months now since a MC in November, and I feel the same exact way. I first felt like a failure from the MC (it doesn't "run" in my family at all) and now it's taking "too long" for try number two. We have been together for 8 years (married for 7) and been getting the nudge nudge from all of his family for years now. I feel like I wasted time by making him wait until I was ready now that we're having so many problems and every month it gets harder.

Let's stick together through this. Hopefully we'll all have beautiful babies this time next year!

 

[b4real]

Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I think that deep down every woman has this fear that she won't be able to get pg and mine just seems to be getting the better of me right now! I have friends and a few cousins(on my dad's side) that are infertile and the thought that I might never be able to have a baby just seems heartbreaking and I know that I haven't given it near enough time yet. So far I've just been going by how I feel(usually get cramping) an CM to determine OV but I told my DH that if we're not PG this month I'm ordering some OPKs and a basal thermometer. Seems like since we're TTC I'm hyper aware of my body and how I'm feeling. Last cycle I told my DH that I must either be PG or else I just feel crappy more times than I realize! lol

 

[Cosmos]

Yeah, I start using OPK's last month and (luckily) found that I'm ovulating pretty regularly. I feel they are helping me get a much better understanding of my cycle, so I recommend them. I haven't got as far as charting BBT because it's so much more of a hassle, but will if I need to here soon!

As far as feeling crappy goes, I have really noticed it much more since I started paying attention. From CD5 until OV I feel perfectly fine, then get horrible crampy on OV day. This and last cycle, I felt like crap until a little after AF slowed down! Oh, the things we just put up with or ignore until we are "looking" for them!

 

[b4real]

Exactly! The 1st month of TTC I got the flu about a week after OV so of course I thought it was the beginning of m/s and my DH was just sure I was PG-he was so sweet-carrying anything remotely heavy for me and doting on me but i kept getting one BFN after another until AF finally showed up a week late. I think when I actually get a BFP I'll just faint. lol

 

[LilLeafyLea]

lol @b4real - As soon as I fall pg I will be asking my partner to put my socks/shoes on make me hot drinks, carry anything and everything - heck he can carry me...he's going to hate me lol! The OPKs I use are just like HPTs and when I get the two pink lines my baby focused brain thinks OMG you're pregnant lol! Then the rational side kicks in and thinks calm down love, you're ovulating lol! I can usually tell by the change in CM though.

@Cosmos Deepest sympathies for your m/c. I can't imagine what a horrendous time that must have been for you, you must have an incredible will to persist. You're certainly not a failure and the fact that you waited doesn't mean that you've missed your chance, it means your little bundle will be treasured all the more when s/he arrives! These things do take time and our bodies are all programmed differently, remain positive! It's easier said than done I know (can't take my own advice lol).

 

[kdutra]

Hey Girl,

I know exactly how your feeling, My husband and i have been TTC for about 12mo now, I just went and visited my doctor and got prescibed clomid, im on day 11 of my cycle so im very anxious to see the results!!! My periods are very irregular so i know what you mean when you are a few days late and you get so excited and when you see the negative sign its just like your have been stabbed in the heart because you think for a second that there is a chance. Dont worry im sure it will happen soon enough, If you need to talk im here. Lots of baby dust!!!***

Kaysha

 

[celi84]

I know how you feel. I'm gonna stress you by telling you it took me just over a year to b pg, but same as you. I felt like a failure compared to my mum who got pg quite quickly at age 35, and some of my cousins who were popping out their 5 or 6 children yearly.

Tell yourself you're not abnormal. 4 months is not that long TTC. They always say the low average is 6 months to a year. Your mum and sis have just been very lucky. If someone tells you "u should have a kid", just make them believe something like "it's not for just yet".
Hopefully, it won't take you that long, but if it does, don't let your family depress you!

Best of luck

 

[SillyHale]

Hey I'm on cycle 5 of ttc #1 also. It was my first time using opks last month and they really helped. I ovulated sooner than I thought so I was just barely missing my time until then. Me and DH had hoped to be pg in Jan or Feb but that didn't happen We had a chemical pg in Mar and ever since then I have become a little obsessed Until then I was ok with waiting until it happened but it got my and DH's hopes up so now I'm on bnb, charting (as best as possible), using opks and drinking green tea. I'm praying May is our month I have always wanted a friend or family member to be pg with so we can experience things together and the kids can be close in age and hang out. Now everyone else is pg so I'm just really hoping it'll happen soon so I'm not too far behind.