TTC #1 in my 20's & getting tired of this shit!

[Wishing_]

Hello my lovely ladies. I'm 21 years old & TTC #1. Its about to be a year TTC #1 and let me tell you it have me emotioanlly draining, upseting and depressing. I am so close to just giving up!

 

[beanlittle]

I'm about to turn 21 and We've been NTNP and then TTC for 8 months. I totally get where you're coming from.
I just keep telling myself after every negative that Bean is worth it. My Bean that I will get after all of this is worth every heart ache and every effort I put into it.
So is yours

 

[Wishing_]

What's NTNP?

I'm just want a little mini me or the hubby. We got everything planned already. All we need is the baby to make everything happen. Even though I'm not pregnant I'm going to start buying things.

 

[beanlittle]

NTNP means Not Trying Not Preventing. I think its technically trying but my Fiance was always saying "Not reeeaaallly though, we just... arent using anything". (He not-so-secretly REALLY WANTS A BABY)

I'm a nanny so I have an excuse to buy baby things quite regularly My Fiance will catch me with baby items in our grocery cart and he'll be like "Baby crazy. We dont NEED these things yet"

The other day I said we should get a play pen for when I have the babies over and he just shook his head haha

 

[Wishing_]

Lol. That's a legit excuse though. Maybe I should tell the hubby the same thing since I'm always babysitting my aunts baby boy.

 

[beanlittle]

Yes it is a legit excuse! Buuuuut its still partially an "excuse" You know what I mean?

My fiance and I have a "good hopes" box that we have kept since we started living together and not-not trying to have a baby haha. It has cute happy things in it like a V for our wall with a Violin on it, it was Victor's (my fiance) when he was a baby and it hung on the wall above his crib. It also has baby pics of us and my sister (because she was too cute) and various crocheting projects I'm working on (like a baby blanket I've been crocheting for like 6 years.).
I think every time I have a particularly hard blow (like I will this month if I am indeed about to get AF) I go through the box, write a note to Bean about how worth it they are, and I feel way better

 

[Wishing_]

That sounds cute. Maybe I should try doing that, writing notes to the bean. I really need something to keep my hopes up. I feel bad for wanting to give up and always being negative. I use to be so excited, cherry and happy that we would be trying.

I need to stop googleing symptoms and getting my hopes up.

 

[beanlittle]

I think that's something we all do-- I mean why else are we here? I like this cite though, I can talk to people who will give me both sides of the coin, the reality and the hope and then they are still there for me when ever its not my happy day and I'm there for them as well.

I'm very probably about to get a huge let down of my own, I can feel cramping and I just don't want to deal with it right now. Lets be TTC buds, I'll be here for you when ever you need someone to rant to

This is hard but our babies are going to be so happy we wanted them this much!

Some people try for several years and go through so much misfortune, we are young so we have a good 20 years to try (bright side!). We WILL get our babies. I promise.

 

[Wishing_]

You're my first TTC buddy.

I've made a few friends but some of them haven't been on in a while. The females and some males here are very friendly. Some are actually inspirational.

I know. My aunt is one of them. I pray that I don't have to inject myself everyday like she did to get pregnant. She went to hell and back to get 3 of her kids but the last one was the hardest. I'm not sure where she get's the motivation to continue trying m/c after m/c. I would ask her for her help but no one knows I'm TTC. Everyone I know would judge me for wanting a baby so young. They would tell me I just started college and how we won't be financially ready. Only two of my girls friend knew about it but they stopped talking to me so I can't call them to rant or whatever. I found out they are both pregnant. 3 weeks apart. Funny thing is their bf's aren't the father! but knowing how they are, it didn't surprise me.

Anyways, I'm here for you as well. You may rant your heart out because god knows I will! lol

 

[Wishing_]

I been nauseous almost all day. I've actually threw up a candy I love to along with god knows what, (sorry for the TMI), but the hubby got me ginger ale I'm feeling better but still sickish.

 

[Wishing_]

Just noticed I got some bogger like EWCM. I may be ovulating soon!

 

[beanlittle]

How many days past your period are you?
I'm still totally in the throws of mine (It SUCKS).
I'm wondering if I might want to take a month off of trying, my 21st birthday is in early january and my mom and dad want to take me to a casino in reno...

I doubt my OH would agree tho Once you start TTC its kinda impossible to put the goalie back into play!

 

[Wishing_]

14.

You should. They might make you drink. God forbid you are pregnant without knowing it could be bad for the baby.

 

[beanlittle]

Well no one can make me do anything. I just kinda want to drink! Haha whoch is why I might stop trying. I'd know by my birthday if I'm preggers and if I was I'd havd to wait to drink

 

[Wishing_]

Well some females actually get pregnant after having drunk sex. You could try it. I'll be jealous if it works though! Lol.